A person’s entire life consists of a series of decisions made – big and small. The whole future life depends on some of them. Many people have difficulty when faced with making a choice. Let's figure out how to make the decision-making process more effective, and what methods can be used to do this.
Every day life presents us with a choice, presenting us with various tasks. What to cook for breakfast? What suit to wear to work? Which phone should I buy? Where to go on vacation during your vacation? Should I agree to the marriage proposal or wait? Should I quit my job or stay? There are decisions that don’t really affect anything, but there are those that radically change your life.
All people behave differently when making decisions. There is a category of people who are called “don’t care”. They are never tormented by choice, because they give preference to the first one they come across or the most simple option. They put on the clothes that are the first to be taken out of the closet, go on a date with the first person to invite them, take the job that is easiest to get, etc. These people believe that life itself will put everything in its place, so they don’t It's worth the effort.
Another category of people is guided by intuition when making important decisions. These individuals always listen to their inner voice and do not doubt the correctness decisions made. However, there are not very many such people.
The majority of people are individuals who have difficulty making choices. They suffer, doubt, weigh every option, but still cannot make a final decision. And when the decision is made, they continue to doubt its correctness. If you belong to the category of such people and do not know how to make a decision when in doubt, then it will be useful for you to learn several methods that make the selection process easier.
Method 1. “Descartes Square”
The essence of the method is to consider the problem facing you from four different sides. To do this, you need to ask yourself 4 questions. Take a piece of paper and divide it into four parts in the form of a square. In each part, write one of the questions:
- What good will I get if I fulfill my plan?
- What good will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plans?
- What harm will I get if I fulfill my plan?
- What harm will I get if I refuse to fulfill my plans?
Think and write the answer to the question in each square. By listing all the pros and cons of implementing your plan and refusing to implement it, you can understand which decision is best for you to make.
If you don’t know what to do in a given situation and stop doubting, tell the two closest people about the problem and ask them for advice. Popular wisdom says that every person has his own guardian angel who protects and guides him on the right path. The Guardian Angel gives clues through intuition. If a person’s intuition is poorly developed, then an angel can convey a hint through loved one. Hence the recommendation to ask for advice from the two closest people.
Method 3. “Expanding the framework”
The problem with most people is that they force themselves into narrow boundaries and do not see alternatives. They tend to get caught up in the “Yes” and “No” options, not realizing that there are other choices. Let's say you want to take out a car loan. You see only two choices - take a car on credit or continue driving public transport.
By expanding your choice, you will see alternative options. For example: you can find a cheaper car and buy it no longer on credit; you can refuse the loan and start saving money to buy a car; you can rent a house closer to work and avoid using public transport; you can even change your job by getting a job in another company located close to your home; You can negotiate with one of your colleagues to give you a ride to work in his car for a certain fee. As you can see, there can be many options, the main thing is to see them.
Method 4. “Disappearance of options”
Imagine that the option you like best is not available. For example, the company you want to get a job with has ceased to exist. Think about what to do in this case. Thinking in this vein, you will discover other, no less interesting options regarding new job, which you haven’t seen before because you were fixated on one.
Method 5. “Glass of water”
The author of this technique is the American parapsychologist Jose Silva, founder of the Silva Method, author of books on unconventional psychology. He suggests the following: in the evening before going to bed, pour clean, unboiled water into a glass. Take the glass with both hands, close your eyes, focus on the problem that worries you and clearly formulate the question that requires a decision. Then, slowly, drink half the glass, mentally repeating something like this: “This is all I need to make the right decision.”
Place a glass with the remaining water near your bed and go to bed. First thing in the morning after waking up, drink some water and thank your subconscious for the right decision. The solution may come immediately after waking up or during the day. People who have tried this technique claim that it works.
Method 6. “Delay”
If you can't make a choice and make a decision, give yourself a break. When you're excited and your brain is overloaded with information, it's very difficult to make the right choices. Remember how often you made the wrong decision in a hurry and then regretted it? To prevent this from happening, take a break, calm down, and once again carefully analyze the strengths and weaknesses of your choice. There are not many situations in life that require instant decision making, so don’t be afraid to put it off for a while.
Method 7. “Own the information”
Before making a choice, try to find out as much information as possible about the option you are going to choose. If we're talking about When purchasing a product, read reviews about it on the Internet. When deciding to change jobs, learn everything about the position you will be taking and the people who worked there before you. If possible, track down these people to get first-hand information. You understand that the employer may not tell you about all the difficulties that await you, and a person who has already worked in this company before is unlikely to withhold such information.
The more important the decision you make, the more responsible your approach to finding the information you need must be. This way you will protect yourself from deception and prepare for possible difficulties.
Method 8. “Drop your emotions”
Emotions greatly interfere with making the right decision because they distort the vision of the situation. An emotionally agitated person is unable to think sensibly. Therefore, make it a rule: never make decisions while at the peak of emotions. Anger, fear, malice, as well as intense joy and euphoria are bad advisers in decision making.
If you are overcome by emotions, do not make any choice. Give yourself time to cool down, and then take a sober look at the situation. This way you will protect yourself from rash actions and their consequences.
How to get rid of emotions?
Even when you realize that emotions are preventing you from making the right choices, you can't always get rid of them. To make this process easier, use simple methods.
10/10/10
This method allows you to put aside immediate impulses and look at the situation in the long term. The essence of the method is to ask yourself three questions before making a decision:
- How will I feel about my choice in 10 minutes?
- How will I feel about my choice in 10 months?
- How will I feel about my choice in 10 years?
Let's say you want to take out an expensive car on credit. You apply for a loan and get behind the wheel of a brand new car. What will you think 10 minutes after the purchase? You will probably be euphoric, rejoicing at your purchase. But after 10 months, the joy will subside, and you will feel the full weight of the credit burden and will be faced with the need to limit yourself in many things. And in 10 years, when you finally pay off your debts, you will see that your car is old and requires repairs, or maybe you are so tired of it that you want to sell it.
The 10/10/10 method can be used in any situation. It perfectly helps to pacify emotions and look at the long-term consequences of your choice, so as not to regret what you did later.
Stay in the dark
A good way to calm your emotions is to simply be in the dark. Psychologists have proven that twilight or complete darkness calms a person and helps put his thoughts in order. Please note that jewelry stores are always brightly lit. Do you think this was done so that gold and precious stones would play and shimmer better in the rays of light? Not just for this. Marketing experts know that bright lights are more likely to make people make impulse purchases.
If you need to calm your emotions in order to make the right decision, sit for a while in a dim or dark room and reconsider the consequences of your choice.
Breathe deeply
Another simple but effective method that helps in the fight against emotions is deep breathing. Take 10 slow, deep breaths in and out, and then ask yourself again: “Am I doing the right thing?”
Think about what you would advise a friend
To reduce emotions and cool down the ardor, it is useful to look at the situation from the outside. Imagine that it is not you who are faced with the need to make a decision, but your friend. What would you advise him to do in this situation?
Many people notice this peculiarity in themselves: they give practical and rational advice to their friends, but when they find themselves in similar situations, they behave extremely stupidly. This happens because, looking at the problem from the outside, we see only the most essential. And when we ourselves find ourselves in the middle of a problem, a lot of little things come up that we attach too much importance to.
The ability to abstract and look at a situation with an unbiased mind gives a significant advantage when it comes to making the right choice.
Method 9. “Following life priorities”
Every person has their own life values, rules and priorities that influence his choice. Always stick to these values and you can't go wrong. For example, you are offered a choice of two positions: one of them is prestigious and highly paid, but requires a lot of dedication from you; the second is less prestigious and does not have such a high salary, but you don’t have to work overtime and you have a lot of free time. Which one to choose?
To make decisions without doubt and stress, be guided by your life priorities. If your family comes first, then choose a position that is not so prestigious and paid, but will not steal your personal time, which you can devote to loved ones. If you dream of building a career, give preference to a prestigious and highly paid position that will help you move up the career ladder.
Method 10. “Intuition”
Intuition is a wonderful tool that not everyone knows how to use. She can tell you a way out when rational methods do not bring the desired result. And it often happens like this: you make a choice based on logic and rationality, and this choice seems to you the most correct, but your inner voice stubbornly protests against it. Maybe we should listen to him?
Develop your intuition, and it will become an excellent assistant in different situations, however, do not overestimate its role and do not forget about reason and logic.
If you find yourself in a situation of choice, use any of the listed methods, or better yet, use several at once. Over time, you will understand which method suits you best, and you will be able to use it in a variety of ways. life situations. By learning to make decisions, you will significantly improve the quality of your life.
When people share the worst decisions they have made in their lives, they often cite the fact that the choice was made in a fit of instinctive emotions: passion, fear, greed.
Our life would be completely different if Ctrl+Z operated in life, which would cancel decisions made.
But we are not slaves to our mood. Instinctive emotions tend to dull or disappear altogether. Therefore, folk wisdom recommends that when you need to make an important decision, it is better to go to bed. Good advice, by the way. It wouldn't hurt to take note! Although for many decisions, sleep alone is not enough. A special strategy is needed.
One of the effective tools that we would like to offer you is strategy for success at work and in life from Susie Welch(Suzy Welch) - former editor-in-chief of the Harvard Business Review, popular author, television commentator and journalist. It's called 10/10/10 and involves making decisions through the prism of three different time frames:
- How will you feel about it 10 minutes later?
- How will you feel about this decision 10 months from now?
- What will your reaction be to this in 10 years?
By focusing our attention on these deadlines, we distance ourselves some distance from the problem of making an important decision.
Now let's look at the effect of this rule using an example.
Situation: Veronica has a boyfriend, Kirill. They have been dating for 9 months, but their relationship can hardly be called ideal. Veronica claims that Kirill is wonderful person, and in many ways he is exactly what she has been looking for all her life. However, she is very worried that their relationship is not moving forward. She is 30, she wants a family and... She doesn’t have an endless amount of time to develop her relationship with Kirill, who is approaching 40. During these 9 months, she never met Kirill’s daughter from her first marriage, and the cherished “I love you” was never heard in their couple from either side.
The divorce from my wife was terrible. After this, Kirill decided to avoid serious relationships. In addition, he keeps his daughter away from his personal life. Veronica understands that he is hurt, but she is also offended that such an important part of her loved one’s life is closed to her.
Veronica knows that Kirill does not like to rush into making decisions. But should she then take the step herself and say “I love you” first?
The girl was advised to use the 10/10/10 rule, and this is what came out of it. Veronica was asked to imagine that right now she had to decide whether she would confess her love to Kirill over the weekend or not.
Question 1: How will you feel about this decision 10 minutes later?
Answer:“I think I would be worried, but at the same time proud of myself for taking a risk and saying it first.”
Question 2: How would you feel about your decision if 10 months had passed?
Answer:“I don’t think I’ll regret it 10 months from now. No, I won't. I sincerely want everything to work out. Those who don’t take risks don’t drink champagne!”
Question 3: How will you feel about your decision 10 years later?
Answer:“No matter how Kirill reacts, in 10 years the decision to confess your love first is unlikely to matter. By this time, either we will be happy together, or I will be in a relationship with someone else."
Note that the 10/10/10 rule works! As a result we have quite simple solution:
Veronica must take the lead. She will be proud of herself if she does this, and sincerely believes that she will not regret what she did, even if nothing works out with Kirill in the end. But without consciously analyzing the situation according to the 10/10/10 rule, making an important decision seemed extremely difficult to her. Short-term emotions—fear, nervousness, and fear of rejection—were distracting and limiting factors.
What happened to Veronica after that, you are probably wondering. She still said “I love you” first. In addition, she tried to do everything to change the situation and stop feeling in limbo. Kirill did not confess his love to her. But progress was evident: he became closer to Veronica. The girl believes that he loves her, that he just needs a little more time to overcome his own and admit that the feelings are reciprocated. In her opinion, the chances that they will be together reach 80%.
In the end
The 10/10/10 rule helps you win the emotional game. The feelings that you are experiencing now, at this moment, seem intense and sharp, and the future, on the contrary, is vague. Therefore, emotions experienced in the present are always in the foreground.
The 10/10/10 strategy forces you to change your perspective: consider a moment in the future (for example, in 10 months) from the same point that you look at in the present.
This technique puts your short-term emotions into perspective. This is not to say that you should ignore them. Often they even help you get what you want in a given situation. But you shouldn't let your emotions get the better of you.
It is necessary to remember the contrast of emotions not only in life, but also at work. For example, if you deliberately avoid having a serious conversation with your boss, you are allowing your emotions to get the better of you. If you imagine the possibility of having a conversation, then after 10 minutes you will be just as nervous, but after 10 months, will you be glad that you decided to have this conversation? Will you breathe a sigh of relief? Or will you feel proud?
What if you want to reward the work of an excellent employee and are going to offer him a promotion: will you doubt the correctness of your decision after 10 minutes, will you regret what you did 10 months later (what if other employees feel left out), and will it Does the promotion make any difference to your business 10 years from now?
As you can see, short-term emotions are not always harmful. The 10/10/10 rule suggests that looking at emotions in the long term is not the only correct way. It only proves that the short-term feelings you experience cannot be at the head of the table when you make important and responsible decisions.
Many decisions in our lives have uncertain results. What to buy: a bike or a gym membership? Once you buy a bike, you can ride whenever and wherever you want. By purchasing a subscription, you can exercise on exercise equipment and swim in the pool. It seems that everything is clear, but why is it so difficult and sometimes even painful to make a decision?
The fact is that when we make a decision, for example, with two options, on the one hand we gain something, on the other we lose. Having bought a bicycle, we will not be able to go to the pool or exercise equipment. And after purchasing a subscription, we lose the opportunity to ride a bike in the evenings with friends and get a lot of fun associated with it.
Therefore, even when we make the right decision, as it seems to us, we experience pain. But in many cases the problem is far-fetched. For example, the torments of the morning choice - tea or coffee - are sucked out of thin air. Both options are good. You can drink tea, forget about coffee and get maximum pleasure. For some this is obvious, while others will have doubts and waste mental energy making choices where they shouldn’t be made. So, why is it sometimes not important what decision to make? Because it does not affect the quality of life and is unlikely to negatively affect the future. If you drink tea in the morning instead of coffee, it doesn’t matter at all (let’s leave the possible harm of coffee aside).
Therefore, the first thing to ask yourself is: is this really something important or can you choose one option at random and not worry? Many successful businessmen who make dozens of decisions a day know this, so they try to relieve themselves of the burden of everyday worries. They wear the same clothes and eat the same breakfast in the morning. An ordinary person brings himself to stress at the beginning of the day, because for him clothes and breakfast are of great importance. But in reality this is not the case. Stop worrying about nonsense.
What really matters are the important decisions:
- Where to go to study?
- Which company should I go to work for?
- Which product should we start producing and which should we abandon?
- Do you need to learn Chinese?
- Which house should I buy?
- What skills to develop?
The consequences of these decisions are important. They allow you to lose or earn money, spoil or improve relationships with loved ones, and lead to growth or degradation.
Find out which issues are important to you and which are not. And then read on.
Decision making process
- Defining a problem, challenge or opportunity. Problem: which dentist to go to for dental treatment. Opportunity: What will be more important in five years - knowledge of English or Chinese?
- Creating an array of possible options. You can find several dental clinics on the Internet, and then also ask your friends.
- Assess the costs and benefits associated with each option. On the one hand, even treatment in an inexpensive clinic costs a pretty penny, on the other hand, you still need to be treated, because then you will be forced to pay ten times more.
- Choosing a solution.
- Implementation of the selected solution.
- Assess the impact of the decision and change it if necessary.
You may not go through all six stages in every situation in your life, and not always in sequence. But even so, there shouldn’t be many difficulties in making decisions, because there is a step-by-step algorithm. Although in life everything is usually not so simple. So what are the difficulties then?
Why is it sometimes so difficult to make a decision?
Some of your decisions are so simple that you make them without thinking. But complex or ambiguous ones require more attention. They include:
- Uncertainty: Many facts and variables may be unknown.
- Complexity: many interrelated factors.
- Consequences of high risk: The impact of a decision on your destiny and the destiny of others can be significant.
- Alternatives: Various alternatives may arise, each with its own set of advantages, uncertainties and consequences.
- Interpersonal problems: You need to predict how other people will react to your decision.
All this flashes through your head in a second, so you don’t even have time to understand why this viscous feeling appeared. inner feeling. One thing is clear: what more complicated solution, the more time you need to allocate for thinking.
How to learn to make decisions
Before moving on to specific solutions problematic issues, it is necessary to develop a general mechanism for making informed decisions. It consists of three parts:
- What you focus on. What you think shapes and changes you as a person. Many people focus every day on what they cannot control. You can make decisions based on what you have, what you can influence.
- Decide not to focus on what isn't working. It sounds strange, but this is what most people do. We are so accustomed to questioning everything that we don’t notice how, instead of working solutions, we first look at the ones that don’t work.
- Assess situations. Life changes every day, you, the people around you and situations in general change. Some problems may not be problems at all.
But this is all theory. IN real life We think in specific categories and are often limited in our choice by many factors. Here are some practical requirements for the reflection process that will allow you to consider any situation more carefully and soberly.
Make a decision quickly
Yes, in this case it may not be the best. However, even a bad decision is better than deliberation that drags on for several days, months or years. During this time, people psychologically come to terms with the fact that they will not make any decision.
Successful, great people often make decisions quickly. They know that doubts and fears can ruin even the greatest endeavors. They change and adjust their plans as they go, learning as they go.
If you hate your job, why not decide right now to change it? Not to change, but to make a decision. This means you start looking for another job, improving your skills and preparing the ground. But you make a decision now, there is no need to delay.
We often think along the following chain: information collection - analysis - assessment - information collection - analysis - assessment. And so on ad infinitum. Make a decision (you already know that you need to change the job you hate) right now and only after that look for information that will help in the process of implementing your plans.
The longer you wait, the more you will suffer. Tormented by the fact that you perfectly understand the importance of making a decision, but you don’t make it.
Find the decision criterion
Should I take it? In many cases everything is too obvious, in others it is not. What are your criteria? For example:
- What's good for me.
- What is good for my loved ones.
- Something that will bring money.
- Something that will bring experience and knowledge.
After making a quick decision, collect information
Again: do not confuse and swap the first and third points. If you need to study, make a decision here and now, and only then start collecting information, looking for books, signing up for tutorials (all this can be done a minute later).
When the decision has been made and the goal has been set, collect all the necessary information, having previously set a condition for yourself: I will take the next important step in this direction in so much time. For example, you decide to study English language in the morning, we gave ourselves four hours to search for all the necessary information, and at six o’clock in the evening we decided to call several English schools and choose the best one for ourselves in terms of class time, distance, etc.
Analyze past decisions
It is important to understand two things:
- Why have you made good decisions in the past?
- Why have you made bad decisions in the past?
What happened then? What principles did you follow? Perhaps when you make decisions quickly and intuitively, they turn out to be the best ones of your life. Then do the same in the future.
Create a spreadsheet
It's very simple, visual and effective: all your choices on one screen with their ratings, pros and cons. This allows you to dive into the details or look at the big picture - depending on the goal.
Tony Robbins method
You can avoid potential weaknesses in decision making when you have a system in place to help you break down your options and anticipate potential weaknesses. It's called OOC/EMR. This is the decision making method from Tony Robbins. He applies four rules to the very process of its development.
Rule one: all important or difficult decisions must be accepted on paper.
Don't do it in your head. So you end up obsessing over the same things without getting to any resolution. Overthinking creates pressure and leads to stress.
Remember for yourself when last time It took us a long time to make an important decision. Or rather, they didn’t want to accept him. Months and even years passed, but the matter did not move forward. If you took pen and paper, the decision could be made in one hour.
Rule two: be absolutely clear about what you need, why you want it and how you will know that you have achieved it.
You must clearly understand what you want, what the goal is. Even if it is absolutely clear what exactly you want, you may forget the reasons why you want it. WHY is what will make you stick to your decision. This is where .
Get as specific as possible about what you want, why you need it, and how you will know when you get what you need.
Rule three: decisions are based on probability.
Don't expect complete and absolute certainty. In most cases you will never get it. Which means they have to give it to themselves.
No one can clearly say what the consequences of a decision will be. Yes, you need to collect information and analyze it, but no one can give a 100% guarantee.
Rule four: decision making is clarification.
In most cases there will be more than one result. Find out which decision will bring the most benefit in all areas of your life. Sometimes benefits arise where you never thought possible.
Now we have reached the decision-making process. Robbins calls it by the fancy acronym OOC/EMR. It consists of the following steps:
- Results.
- Choices.
- Consequences.
- Evaluation of options.
- Damage reduction.
- Solution.
Let's look at each step separately.
Results
Tony Robbins starts by defining the results he wants to achieve. He asks the following questions:
- What will be the results?
- What exactly do I want to achieve?
This helps create clarity around deliverables as well as prioritization. After all, there can be a lot of them, and they can have completely different benefits.
Robbins: “Thinking first and then answering.”
Choices
He writes down all the options, even those that may seem strange. Why? Tony says there is a principle here: “One option is not a choice. Two options - a dilemma. Three options - a choice."
It doesn't matter if you like these particular options, just write them down.
Consequences
Robbins tries to figure out the consequences of each of the options he comes up with, and asks the following questions for each:
- What are the advantages and disadvantages of each option?
- What do I get from each option?
- What will it cost me?
Evaluating Options
For each option or choice, Tony Robbins asks the following questions:
- What outcomes are affected? (this is what we discussed in the first point)
- How critical are the disadvantages and how important are the advantages on a scale from 1 to 10?
- What is the probability from 0 to 100% that a negative or positive consequence will occur?
- What emotional benefit or consequence will occur if I choose this option?
Robbins uses this step to eliminate some options from the list.
Damage Reduction
He then considers the consequences of the disadvantages of each of the remaining options. For everyone Tony Robbins holds brainstorming alternative ways to eliminate or reduce damage.
You may be leaning towards one option, but know there are downsides to it. That's what this stage is for: think about how to reduce their influence.
Solution
Robbins selects the option that provides the greatest certainty of achieving the desired results and needs based on the most likely consequences.
He suggests the following steps at this stage:
- Choose the best option.
- Supplement it to ensure it works.
- Decide for yourself that regardless of whether the option works 100% or not, it will lead to victory (this way you can stop being tormented by the thoughts that by choosing one option, we will lose the other).
- Develop a plan for implementation.
- Take action.
Books
You are unlikely to learn how to make decisions by learning a couple of methods. This is a process that takes years. The following books will help speed it up.
- “Problem Solving Using Intelligence Techniques” by Morgan Jones.
- "Refraction. The science of seeing differently" Bo Lotto.
- "A Guide to Lies. Critical thinking in the era of post-truth" Daniel Levitin.
- “How not to make mistakes. The Power of Mathematical Thinking by Jordan Ellenberg.
- “Why are we wrong? Thinking Traps in Action Joseph Hallinan.
- “Thinking traps. How to make decisions you won't regret." Chip Heath and Dan Heath.
- “Territory of delusions. What mistakes do they make? smart people» Rolf Dobelli.
- “Proactive thinking. How simple questions can dramatically change your work and life" John Miller.
- “Mental Traps at Work” by Mark Goulston.
This article sheds light on only part of such a complex process as decision making. You can learn more about it in our free course “”.
We make decisions all the time. Sometimes more than a hundred of them can accumulate in a day, and all of them will have one or another consequences. This means only one thing: the quality of decisions determines the quality of our lives. When you achieve mastery in this matter, you will achieve success in many areas. We wish you good luck!
How to make a decision when in doubt? This is very important question. After all, our whole life is actually a string of decisions made on the simplest and most complex issues. And each previous decision determines what subsequent new questions life will pose to us and what opportunities will open up before us. It’s strange that the school spent so much time on trigonometry, but did not give any instructions on such an important issue...
I have several faithful assistants - proven techniques that have helped me out many times and helped me make the right decision. I learned some techniques at trainings on personal growth, some are from the works of great philosophers, and some were suggested to me... by my grandmother.
Sometimes it gets a little scary how even the simplest decision can change our destiny. Here is an example from life:
In this context, I like the film with Jim Carrey in leading role Always say YES If you haven't seen this film, I highly recommend watching it. Few people know that the comedy is based on biographical book British writer Danny Wallace, who answered only “YES” to all offers for 6 months. The writer even starred in the film in the “bachelorette party” scene in a cameo role.The girl was invited to a party during the week. She was thinking whether to go or not to go. Tired after work. Plus there's an important presentation tomorrow morning. Still, I DECIDED to go. And as a result, I met my love. She got married and gave birth to her beloved children. She has found her happiness and often asks herself what her fate would have been like if she had not gone to that party.
So, the continuation of the scenario of our life depends on our every decision, even the smallest one.
So, back to our main question: “How to make the right decision when in doubt?”.
1st method “Intuition”.
All subsequent techniques are very important, but the role of intuition should not be underestimated in any case. You have noticed that most often we immediately know and feel what to do. I, for example, I tell myself: “Listen. What is your stomach telling you? You need to listen to your inner voice. But if this does not help, I use several simple and proven techniques.
In fact, this is folk wisdom, which is the quintessence of the experience of many previous generations our ancestors. They have been noticing certain causes and effects for thousands of years. And they passed this knowledge on from generation to generation. So, my grandmother told me, if you have doubts, you don’t know what decision to make, ask the two closest people for advice. Grandmother said that through them the Angels tell you the best decision for you.
This method can to some extent be called a consequence of the previous method: if your Angel cannot “reach out” to you with the right decision through intuition, then he passes it on through the people closest to you.
3rd method “Descartes square for decision making”.
The essence of this simple technique is that the problem or issue must be considered from 4 different sides. After all, we often get hung up on one question: what will happen if THIS HAPPENS? Or, what will I get if I DO THIS? But you need to ask yourself not 1, but 4 questions:
- What will if this will happen? (pros of this).
- What will if this NOT will happen ? (pros of not getting it).
- What WILL NOT if this will happen? (disadvantages of this).
- What WILL NOT if this WILL NOT happen? (disadvantages of not getting this).
To make it clearer, you can ask the questions a little differently:
4th technique “Expanding choice”.
This is a very important technique. Often we become fixated on only one choice, “YES or NO,” “Do or Don’t,” and in our persistence we forget to consider all other options. For example, whether to buy this particular car on credit or not. If not, then continue to take the metro. Because we focus only on the “YES or NO” option, we forget about other options. For example, an alternative to taking the subway could be buying an inexpensive car. And no longer on credit.
5th method Jose Silva “Glass of water”.
This is an amazing, effective, working technique. Its author is Jose Silva, who became famous around the world for the Silva Method he developed.– complex psychological exercises. This is how you should do the exercise. Before going to bed, take a glass of clean, unboiled water with both hands (you can take mineral water), close your eyes and formulate a question that requires a solution. Then drink about half of the water in small sips, repeating to yourself approximately the following words: “This is all I need to do in order to find the right solution.” Open your eyes, put the glass with the remaining water near the bed and go to bed. In the morning, drink your water and thank you for the right decision. The solution may clearly “come” immediately in the morning after waking up, or it may dawn in the middle of the day. The decision will come like a flash and it will become completely incomprehensible, as could have been doubted. This is it, the right decision.
6th technique “Stick to your basic priorities”
The technique is based on the ideas of philosophers Ancient Greece. “Ataraxia” is equanimity, calmness. It is achieved when a person correctly distributes the value system. After all, most often a person is restless and suffers from not getting what he wants.
The key to achieving happiness is very simple: you need to be happy with what you have and not desire what you cannot have! (Aldous Huxley)
The wise Greeks distributed the IMPORTANCE of values and their basic priorities as follows:
- Natural and Natural Values like, water and food.
- Values are natural, but not quite natural, dictated by the sociality of all people, for example, the value of having higher education and other similar stereotypical values. You can free yourself from most of these values.
- Values are not natural and not natural. This is fame, success, veneration, wealth. This is the opinion of others, condemnation from the outside. Or, conversely, excessive praise. You can easily say goodbye to these values!
So, when you want to get something when making a decision, analyze according to the above classification whether you really need it or these are not natural and natural values imposed on you by the stereotypes of society. Don't think about what others will think, but at the same time be sure that your decision will not harm anyone.
7th technique “Wait”.
When making important and long-term solutions, it is important to get rid of emotions. For example, in relationships with loved ones or if you want to change jobs, but are afraid of change.
Sometimes, to make the right decision, you just have to wait. You know that impulsive desires are often difficult to deal with. At the same time, if you wait a little, the desire may disappear on its own. And what seemed a prime necessity yesterday seems completely unnecessary today. No wonder they say: “I need to sleep with this thought.”
To get rid of emotions, you can use an exercise called “10/10/10”. We need to answer the question “How will I feel about this in 10 hours/10 months/10 years?”
Resume.
You got the answer to the question, how to make a decision when in doubt? And now you have to make your choice. When making a decision it is important:
- turn off emotions;
- listen to intuition;
- ask advice from 2 closest people;
- consider other options, expand the choice;
- evaluate all the PROS and CONS on the issues of Descartes Square;
- assess whether the decision contradicts your basic principles;
- if possible, postpone the decision, wait, “sleep with this thought” using the “Glass of Water” technique.
In all other circumstances, always be confident in yourself and your dreams, don't give up, be optimistic. Do not think about what others will think, but at the same time, your decision will be correct only when, after making it, you will have peace of mind and you will be sure that you are not harming anyone and are not going against your principles.
Don’t be afraid, make your decision, even if it turns out to be wrong, because “No one stumbles while lying in bed” (Japanese wisdom)!
I wish you inspiration and a lot of strength for all your plans and decisions!
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