Guys, we put our soul into the site. Thank you for that
that you are discovering this beauty. Thanks for the inspiration and goosebumps.
Join us on Facebook And VKontakte

There are many ways to read not even a person’s thoughts, but his thoughts, his deepest hopes and fears. Anyone can develop the ability to see through people: it is enough to know about several points in the behavior of the interlocutor that you should pay attention to. Practice “reading people” more often, get into this habit, and after a while it will be impossible to deceive you.

All people are different and everyone has their own habits and characteristics. Someone
moves through objects on the table, someone wrinkles his nose funny, shakes his legs,
touches the chin. These behavior patterns can indicate nervousness, mistrust and much more. Or it may be a habit of this person that has nothing to do with what is happening.

That's why it is important to determine which behavior patterns are the norm for a particular person. And then pay attention to any deviations from the norm, to minor changes in the behavior and facial expressions of the interlocutor. The very essence lies in them.

Observe from the side and compare

To complete the picture, it is useful to observe your interlocutor from the outside: how he
behaves before communicating with you, how it communicates with other people, what the language says
his body. During a conversation with you, he will behave somewhat differently, he will
try to impress. By comparing what you see, you will get much more
more information about the person. After the meeting, don’t rush to leave either - see if his mood and behavior have changed.

Always adjust for context

All people in society unconsciously play roles and slightly adapt to each other, mirror the gestures of people they like or those they want to impress. Make allowances for the context in which the person you are trying to read is located, because in different circles there may be different rules. For example, in some countries people look away because it is customary to express respect, and not because they feel awkward.

Wrinkles reflect a person's character. If a person frowns and twists his mouth for years, it will be noticeable. Facial expressions can tell a lot.

• When a person longs to be understood and convincing, he raises his eyebrows and wrinkles his forehead. People who have pronounced longitudinal wrinkles on the forehead spend their entire lives trying to establish contact with others and want to be heard.
• When your interlocutor likes you, his facial muscles relax, his head tilts slightly to one side, and blood rushes to his lips, making them a little plumper and brighter. If meeting you is unpleasant for him, his face will be slightly tense.

• If you see a smile on a person’s face, but no wrinkles form in the corners of his eyes, then he is smiling at you insincerely - this is a fake smile. Such a smile can also indicate that the interlocutor feels uncomfortable.

• Squinting eyes during a conversation (as if a person is trying to make out something small) indicates that he is trying to understand, understand, concentrate and probably feels out of place. If a person looks straight into your eyes with a squinted eye, this signals his distrust and ill will.
• Dilated pupils indicate strong feelings, sympathy, excitement, interest. When a person quickly turns over thoughts in his head, frantically looking for a solution, his eyes dart around.
• If a person avoids direct eye contact or, on the contrary, looks too closely into your eyes, there is a high probability that he is not telling the truth.

Most often, when a person remembers something, his pupils are directed either upwards or to the left and upwards. But when composing and inventing on the go, a person looks to the right and up.

Behavior in a team

In groups, people are grouped according to similarity of views or characters. Observe your interlocutor, find out with whom he prefers to spend time. The way he behaves with people, whether he worries about the convenience of others or unceremoniously interferes with them and does not even notice it, will speak volumes.

• A talkative and verbose person is usually proud and touchy.
• Quiet speech and avoidance of public statements are characteristic of people prone to self-criticism, diligent and insecure.
• If the interlocutor constantly interrupts and hears only himself, he is pessimistic, distrustful and selfish.
• If a person talks a little, this does not always mean that he is constrained. Perhaps this is a sign of success: such people talk less and do more.

We feel that he should not be trusted: having sufficient experience in observing people, we subconsciously and very quickly compare the smallest details of behavior and recreate complete picture. This is how intuition works. It can and should be developed, and you should also listen to it more often. Of course, sometimes we may be wrong in our intuitive assessments, but gradually, with practice and experience, we will make fewer and fewer such mistakes.

Can a person, if desired, hide his true intentions, feelings and fears? Or, knowing the subtleties of behavior, facial expressions and gestures, you can figure out absolutely any person, even the biggest cunning and skillful actor? What do you think?

Learn to Talk to Your Cat [Part IV]

LANGUAGE OF SOUND

“How does the cat talk?” - we ask the kids. “Meow,” they answer. “What does the dog say?” - “Woof-woof.” Well, “woof” probably does a good job of conveying the main signal that a dog uses when demanding our attention. But one sound combination “meow” is clearly too poor and unable to describe the huge variety of sounds available in the cat’s vocabulary.

Research aimed at studying the intricacies of a cat's vocabulary began relatively recently. Different experts classify sounds differently, and we will consider them in the context of our relationships with our pets.

To understand the various sounds and intonations that a cat uses in communication, you will have to work seriously and carefully. Usually we instinctively understand what a cat is “talking” to us about, and we don’t so much judge it by its sounds as we guess by its appearance and circumstances, what she wants: waiting to be petted, “hinting” that it’s time for dinner, or just having a friendly conversation. A smart cat makes it easier for us to understand: she will come to an empty bowl, to the door, or start scratching at the window, wanting to be let out for a walk. If you seriously want to distinguish the sounds your cat makes, record the cat’s voice and your interpretations on a tape recorder: how you understand the meaning of different signals. Listening to the recording later, when the voice is not supported by body language and movements, you will find that it is much more difficult for you to understand even the most familiar cat “expressions”, calls or requests.

Each cat has its own unique repertoire of sounds and gestures. It should also be noted that cats are much better at understanding our language than we are at understanding their signals. They adapt what they say to how we understand it. Sometimes it seems that cats accustom us to the perception of certain sounds. If we respond correctly to a particular meow, they will notice it and resort to it again and again. Thus, the repertoire of signals useful in communicating with people expands as we learn the material. Often cats have “words” for us that they don’t use when talking to other cats or even other people in our family.

It is not easy to change the point of view, because it is against our nature, since it is more common to cope with problems by “bending” the outside world to suit us.

And since external changes are never enough, we are more accustomed to shifting the blame to circumstances, incompatibility of characters, lack of understanding and the right person…

The paradox of love...

(By the way, if you like this expression, it could be the title of our book.)

She did not reread what she had written, because she knew that making excuses only meant confirming what was said. Most likely, Nancy is right, and she voluntarily abandoned a serious relationship, thus resolving the paradox of love for herself, and, apparently, made a mistake.

Despite feeling a little awkward, Laura was relieved to get her thoughts out on paper. life experience. She was eager to hear Freddy's opinion. She had little doubt that her colleague would guess the personal nature of her reasoning. It was impossible to predict when Freddy would respond to the message.

Laura surprised herself when she looked in her mailbox the next day looking for a response from trebor. But what struck her most was the disappointment she felt at not finding an answer. Previously, Laura had not noticed the habit of depending on anything, especially on some kind of letter.

Surprise gave way to anger. Patient waiting gave way to nervousness, and frustration to irritation.

A week passed, and there was only one message in her inbox: an invitation to the next convention.

Maybe Freddy would agree to join her again. Laura realized that she wanted to spend more time with this man she was so angry with and admired so much.

Calm down, Laura! - an inner voice addressed her, in which she recognized the intonations of her mother. But despite this, this time she disobeyed him.

She felt excited. Without a doubt, there was cause for concern...

She probably should have called Freddy and asked when he could answer her message. So what if she never called him, her phone book contains the number Fredy dictated to her in Cleveland. Why not?

She found the number and dialed it. The first beeps were already heard at the other end of the line when she remembered that Fredi told her that he was leaving until Monday.

She hung up without waiting for the answering machine to come on.

Four long days passed before Laura's monitor showed a message from [email protected].

Laura!

I am very glad that what I wrote was useful to you personally. Believe it or not, that was a huge compliment to me. I value your knowledge and your experience so much that your praise means a lot to me. It's like Pavarotti saying something positive about me singing in the bathtub or something.

We can get to know a person we really like, but not pay attention to some features of his behavior, because they can signal that we are faced with a typical future tyrant and despot.

We all strive for happiness. This is normal and natural. Meeting a person with whom you will live happily for the rest of your life and not losing him on the first date is perhaps easier than recognizing your soulmate in him.

Of course, it’s good to have an image of a healthy relationship and strive for it. However, in life it is important to learn to focus not on how “it should be right.”

Each person carries out (if he decides to do so) his own search for “right” or “wrong,” makes a choice and takes full responsibility for this choice.

That's why psychologists love to talk about inner feelings and the feelings of a particular person, because feelings of comfort (“I feel good and like it”) or discomfort (“I feel bad and I don’t like it”) are more important than beliefs, principles, or our advice on what to pay attention to on a date.

So this is your life, your choice, and if you like a person, you feel comfortable and pleased to be in his company, then this person is “right” for you.

However, we suggest that you do not rely too much on your feelings, they can deceive you, but resort to a reasonable assessment of your partner’s behavior.

What you should pay attention to on a date is: following components personalities, namely:

- to his level general culture, worldview and education
- level of thinking, ability to analyze
- social environment and its influence on a person
— characteristics of childhood and the presence of psychological trauma
- emotional manifestations and the ability to control oneself

The level of general culture and upbringing determines the presence of the ability to tolerate tolerance in relationships.

Features of thinking and the ability to analyze will determine how hasty a person is in his conclusions, whether he is able to take into account various factors at all, think logically, and whether he is objective in his judgments.

How to study a person's social environment on a first date?

Pay attention to the peculiarities of your attitude towards other, strangers, for example, towards a waiter. Or the way you conduct a conversation on the phone. You can notice a special attitude towards others, or the influence of others on the person himself.

Pay attention to how a person talks about his loved ones - with warmth or noticeable irritation. For example, if a person clearly does not respect his parents, then the same disrespect will eventually overtake you, because the person clearly has not been taught to respect others, even those closest to him.

Already on the first date, you can talk about how his childhood was. Some characteristics of childhood affect the degree of openness of a person, the ability to trust others, and be close.

If a person experienced psychological trauma in childhood, then he can isolate himself from the world and withdraw into himself.

Try to pay attention to manifestations of the emotional sphere, which significantly influence the reactivity of a person’s behavior, that is, the extent to which his behavior and reactions are caused by external influences.

For example, does his behavior depend on his mood, is it easy to piss off a person, and similar features.

If you notice some behavioral manifestations that alarm you, then do not create illusions that you will become extremely special to a person, and he will change for you.

You should definitely pay attention both on the first date and on all subsequent ones to all manifestations of a person, to approach the choice of a partner wisely in order to protect yourself from negative experiences and be happy.