I want to find peace of mind. How to find peace of mind and balance? Understand the language of our feelings

As a rule, our life is full of surprises and surprises, sometimes not the most pleasant ones. Maintaining calm in a given situation is certainly not an easy task. However, it must be taken into account that suppressed emotions, experiences and constant stress can quite easily lead to the appearance of somatic diseases, that is, ailments caused by incessant nervous tension. That is why it is necessary to learn to find peace of mind.

How to find peace of mind

Very often you can hear people complaining that they just can’t find peace of mind/find peace of mind. First of all, such people themselves do not want to do anything to change anything! If peace is defined as external and inner harmony person, then this can mean reconciliation with oneself and the surrounding reality. In other words, this is a state when there are no internal contradictions, calmness and friendly relations with those present nearby.

Peace of mind is simply necessary for a person, if only so that all disorders, illnesses, and negative misfortunes bypass you. In fact, to find peace of mind, you don’t need to know psychology and you don’t have to seek help from a paid psychologist - you just need to slightly rethink your worldview on the things around you. Everything is elementary and simple! So, how to find peace of mind!?

1) You can’t keep negativity inside yourself. Learn to forgive offenders and insults, do not draw hasty conclusions (maybe they didn’t want to offend you, but you are screwing yourself up by not correctly assessing the situation). In an effort to find peace of mind, you should learn to get rid of all negative experiences. Do not reflect for too long, do not remember the details of unpleasant or humiliating “in your opinion” moments. After all, your main goal is to regain your spiritual comfort, and not to resume the conflict with renewed vigor.

2) Accumulate positive emotions. Pay more attention to any pleasant little things: aromatic tea, a delicious dinner, a fluffy robe, etc. This will help you switch to the positive. Think about how much good there is around you and in your life. To understand this more fully, do a simple exercise: every day before going to bed, remember a few good moments that happened to you throughout the day. We need to understand that our life is full of colors and many joys absolutely independent of social status and financial situation. Pay more attention to the little things, as a rule, life consists of colorful little things - you just need to learn to ignore dark colors and leave only bright moments in your soul.

3) Live in the present and the future - without looking back. After all, reliving past failures and being afraid that the same thing awaits you in the future - you will never find peace of mind and harmony with yourself. Believe exclusively in the best, try to remain optimistic in any situation, even the worst, because in a moment everything can change. As you know, life lives up to all our expectations if we believe in the best - no matter how trite it may sound, “BUT” if you are in despair, then think about who achieves the greatest success in life - people who believe in themselves and in their goal. There is a way out of absolutely every difficult situation, you just need to calm down and find it.

4) Emergency at work, creative crisis, upcoming exams - if there is chaos in your head, then your strength and mood are consequently exhausted - you should avoid situations where you need to do a lot at once - take a short break. Close your eyes, sit back in your chair, relax all your muscles and spend a few minutes thinking about nothing at all. Train yourself to make a schedule for the next day every evening and try to stick to it as much as possible. Thus, you will get rid of chaos, and therefore from unnecessary irritation, which, of course, contributes to mental balance.

Remember: do not dwell on troubles and problems - most of them will be forgotten in a few minutes or days. In moments when it seems that absolutely everything goes wrong you need to calm down and weigh everything again - the right decision will come on its own, and with it peace of mind. Think about your loved ones, because your mood is transmitted to them too!

The material was prepared by Natalya KOVALENKO. Website illustrations: © 2013 Thinkstock.

Most of us lack peace of mind. Often we suffer, worry, worry. The reason for everything is constant problems, various everyday inconveniences, irritation with people and situations that are out of control. Moments of spiritual harmony in our world are extremely rare. Let's figure out how to get peace of mind in the bustle of everyday life?

Peace of mind is a state when a person is in harmonious contact with the surrounding space and, first of all, with his own person. For many, this is too difficult to achieve; they have to suffer from doubts and anxieties every day. For such people, internal balance is an unaffordable luxury. Therefore, the number of those who are looking for ways to find peace in their souls and keep it longer is increasing.

The secret of achieving balance within oneself can be learned by everyone. It is enough to understand that everything is determined by your own choice, and not by external circumstances. You choose how to think, from what angle to look at the situation. So what needs to be done to transform peace of mind from an unusual rarity into a state that is typical for you?

What is calm?

Calm! Only peace! It must be preserved in any situation. Another question is that not everyone succeeds. But, thanks to knowing how to remain calm, it is easier to find the right solution, a way out of any situation, and reduce the number of mistakes.

An excited state is one of the most important barriers to rational decision business It won’t take long for you to lose confidence, strength, and develop various fears and complexes. Everyone known fact that calm people attract others. Especially those who calmly, coolly and rationally solve various problematic situations, causing admiration and respect from others.

The secret to peace of mind

In the cartoon “The Kid and Carlson” there is an episode where the Kid is locked in a room and he cries uncontrollably. Carlson arrives and tries to calm him down, saying “don’t cry.” Then he asks, “Are you crying or am I crying?” The baby replies, “It’s me who’s crying.” As usual, overflowing with optimism, Carlson finally says famous phrase“Calm, just calm!”

How often do we say something like this to someone who is out of balance and can’t find a place for themselves. He literally “lost his peace.”

Why can you lose peace of mind?

There are plenty of reasons for this in our lives. Let's look at some of the main troublemakers.

Fears.

Fears of various kinds are usually associated with certain events from our future. Some simply frighten us, such as a serious exam, an important interview, or a meeting with significant person. Others can only hypothetically happen: some conflicts or incidents. All these events are in no way connected with the current moment, but here and now we are already tormented and worried about them in advance.

Such thoughts take away our peace confidently and for a long time, acting on the “not yet” principle. If the event is expected, then we will get rid of anxiety after it is completed. But if it can only happen hypothetically, then we have to constantly live in fear and anxiety.

Guilt.

We cannot sleep peacefully if we feel guilty before someone. It's like an inner voice telling us that we did something wrong or didn't do something important that we should have done. The feeling experienced at the same time is painful and irresistible.

As if we deserve a fair punishment for what we have done and begin to serve our guilt for what we have done in advance. The most unpleasant thing here is that we do not see a way out of the situation, as if we are waiting for someone who can forgive us our sins.

Obligations.

There is something similar here to the previous point. The similarity is that we have to do something. There is such a thing as a “burden of obligations”. Often we lose peace by taking on too much that we subsequently cannot fulfill. It can be easy to make promises, but then we begin to worry about the fact that we shouldn’t have done it, that we can’t handle it. Sometimes this happens due to the fact that we cannot draw the line in time, saying “no” at the right moment.

Resentment.

We can lose peace because we feel offended. We were treated unfairly, we believe. Perhaps this is exactly what happened. In any case, we are driven by a negative feeling that unbalances us. No matter how we try to calm down, wounded pride tells us again and again that in this situation we do not deserve such an attitude towards ourselves. We may feel depressed or, conversely, angry, but we cannot cope with these feelings on our own.

Anger.

The previous paragraph partially touched on the topic of anger or aggression. This is another troublemaker, and a very significant one at that. Whatever the cause of anger, the result is the same - we are thrown off balance and want to take revenge on the offender. Revenge is associated with the desire for destruction and sometimes even harm to someone or something. Aggression seeks a way out and simply does not allow us to feel calm. We feel the desire to act, and right now.

What these reasons have in common is a violation of internal balance. There are external or internal factors that take us out of it.

How to find peace of mind?

The reasons described above can act either alone or in combination with others. Let's consider the main directions for restoring calm and internal balance.

Return to the “here and now”. Many negative feelings, such as fear, guilt or resentment, take us away from reality. We constantly experience past or expected future unpleasant events. At the same time, this prevents us from enjoying the current moment. It is necessary to return to reality. Begin to realize that in the “here and now” we have all the resources to cope with worries and find a solution to how to deal with a future situation or let go of fears associated with the past.

Allow yourself the right to make mistakes. Many people make mistakes, although it would be more correct to say that everyone does it. However, not everyone allows themselves to make mistakes.

To restore peace of mind, we need to stop blaming ourselves for something we did wrong.

There are mistakes that could have hurt someone else besides us. In this case, you need to immediately admit your guilt and do something to atone for it. However, you need to understand that these actions are finite and limited in time. You shouldn’t continue to blame after everything is over, you need to be able to “put an end to it.”

The ability to say “no”. It is worth learning to say “no” right away if you understand that the obligations placed on you exceed your capabilities. In this case, you will protect yourself from a situation where you have to agonize over the fact that you should not have agreed to some dubious offer.

The ability to forgive. Resentment is part of us. Even if we were treated unfairly, we will feel disadvantaged until we let go of the offense. You should not expect that the offender will come to his senses and come to ask for forgiveness. We need to give him forgiveness in advance. We won't lose anything by doing this. On the contrary, we will find just that inner peace.

Give a way out negative feelings. No one is immune from negative emotions. Anyone can find themselves in a situation where they will be exposed to irritating or stressful factors. Controlling your anger and restraining yourself is, of course, important. However, it is equally important to give vent to all accumulated negative feelings afterwards. This will help you find peace of mind.

Peace of mind is also a skill, and it often arises as a result of habit. The habits of being in the here and now, allowing yourself the right to make mistakes, saying “no” when necessary and the ability to forgive and give vent to negative feelings.

https://www.b17.ru/article/sekret_dushevnogo_spokojstvija

Techniques that make it possible to be in harmony.

Now there is a lot of theoretical or practical material on this topic, aimed at finding internal balance. Many perceive this as something obscene and meaningless. Few people believe that this leads to good results. Only the right approach and an optimistic attitude will help you achieve a positive effect. The key to understanding yourself lies on the surface - it is planned, gradual, regular.

To achieve peace, you should adopt the following rules:

  1. It is possible to find peace only when a person personally wants to do this and is result-oriented.
  2. Only daily practice can achieve this, and superficial study will not lead to anything effective.
  3. The depth of the process and the presence of a specific goal are important.

  • Achieve mental silence, uttering a drawn-out “shhhhhhhhhh” as you exhale, as if you were imitating the light sound of the surf. Imagine how the waves gently wash the shore and roll back, taking your worries with them to the sea.
  • Express gratitude. Express gratitude for all the “good” and all the “bad”, for all that you experience, learn and adopt. Express gratitude for everything that the future holds for you. Let yourself be enveloped in the warmth and light of gratitude.
  • Listen, trust and follow your intuition. A decision may seem right at first glance, but ultimately does not serve your highest good. Tune into the feelings that arise in your body when you make a decision. If you experience a warm, confident feeling of “everything will be fine,” then you have followed your intuition. If you experience anxiety or doubt, it means that you have gone against it.
  • Let go of your habitual way of looking at things, look at the world from a different angle. Your point of view is not a “law”, but only one of many points of view. The way you view things may be causing you stress. Look at the world with an unlimited look that says: “I can do anything.”
  • Meditate. Meditation teaches you mental and physical discipline, as well as emotional self-control. Don't know how to meditate? Try downloading Omharmonic meditation music. This technology allows you to immerse yourself in the brain frequency corresponding to meditation at the press of a play button. It's easy and enjoyable, and this is one of the most powerful self-development tools that you can use right now!

  • Know that “this too shall pass.” Change is part of life. Be calm and patient - let everything happen naturally and organically. Develop the courage that allows you to focus on the results you want rather than the problem.
  • Simplify your life. Simplicity brings inner peace - thanks to the fact that you direct your energy correctly. Get rid of everything you don't need, including connections and friendships that don't bring you anything good.
    Focus on what's important to you. Don't overload yourself with too many things, tasks and information. Keep one or two goals that are most important to you.
  • Smile. A smile can open doors, turn “no” into “yes” and instantly change the mood (both yours and those around you). Smile at yourself in the mirror. Smile at family members, co-workers, and everyone you see. A smile radiates the energy of love - and what you send is what you receive. It is impossible to smile sincerely and at the same time feel anger, sadness, fear or envy. When you smile, you can only feel happiness and peace.
  • Bring what you start to its logical conclusion. Complete the circle. Unfinished business (unforgiveness, unspoken words, unfinished projects and tasks) is a heavy burden on your mind, whether you feel it or not. Every unfinished task takes energy from the present.
  • Be true to yourself. Love yourself. Make your dreams come true and express yourself. Find your purpose and fulfill it.

  • Live in the present. You cannot return the past, and the future depends on what you think and do at the moment. So pay attention to the present, focus on doing everything you do to the best of your ability. in the best possible way, and just live. Don't let life pass you by because you live in the past or the future.
  • Don't worry. How much time do you spend worrying about what “could happen”? And which of these really happened (and ruined your life)? Little, if not nothing at all... right? Focus on what you want, not what you don't want.
  • Take care of your health. Take care of your body: do physical exercise, play sports, eat right and get enough sleep. Give yourself more energy daily exercise and monitor your well-being.
  • The morning is wiser than the evening. Sometimes, when you are overwhelmed with problems, falling asleep is not possible. First of all, do your best to physically fix the problem. If nothing can be done, turn to an energetic solution to the problem. Visualize the ideal state of things (in which the problem does not exist) until the problem disappears on its own or until a solution comes to you.
  • In your speech, adhere to the principles of Sufism. This ancient tradition stipulates that you should only say something if: it is true, it is necessary, and it is kind words. If anything you have to say doesn't meet these criteria, don't say it.
  • Use the off button. Avoid information and sensory overload. Turn off the TV, smartphone, tablet, laptop, computer, mp3 player (unless you are listening to audio recordings for meditation or relaxation). Learn to just “be” without necessarily “doing” anything.
  • Use your imagination. Building the life of your dreams begins in your imagination. This is where you take the canvas and paints and paint the life you want most!

  • Don't do everything at the same time. Do one thing and do it well. Take a holistic approach in everything and do your best.
  • Start with the hardest thing. Don't put things off until later. A lot of mental and emotional energy is wasted due to fear of doing things we don't want to do - tiring, unpleasant, difficult or scary. Deal with them - only properly, in the best possible way. And then move on to simple matters.
  • Maintain balance. Promote success and inner peace by maintaining balance in your life.
  • If you drive more quietly, you will go further. Enjoy this journey called life. Everything will happen when the time comes. Pay attention to every moment of life and appreciate it. What's the hurry? Once you achieve your goal, new tasks and problems will certainly appear.
  • Know how to say no. Don't let the resentment of a mistaken "yes" disturb your inner peace. If you overexert yourself and do something that causes you stress, you will become angry at the person who asked you to do this, not acting in your best way possible way and pay insufficient attention to one’s own obligations and desires.
  • Cross money off your list of priorities. Strive to be a person who is rich in the sense of relationships, not material goods.

Source: https://www.mindvalleyrussian.com/blog/dyshi/podsoznanie/kak-uspokoitsya.html

If there is any peace in this world, it lies only in a clear conscience and patience. This is a harbor for us, floating in the sea of ​​this world. A clear conscience is not afraid, and therefore a person is calm. Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk (1724-1783)

One of serious problems our society – its nervousness and poor resistance to stress. Such symptoms are easily explained: modern life does not look like a spa resort, but more like a wild jungle where only the strongest can survive. Naturally, existing in such a state does not have the best effect on both our health and appearance, and on the situation in the family, and on success at work.

If you don't want to burn out by age 40, then you just need to learn how to find peace of mind. Moreover, it is not so difficult, especially if you develop immunity to stress, depression and neuroses.

Why do some manage to find peace of mind while others do not?

If you travel to work or school public transport, try watching passengers in a minibus or subway car for several days in a row. Look at their facial expressions, gestures, how they behave in the morning crush, etc. You will see that many people are lost in their sad thoughts. This can be seen by the way they frown and take a bite. lower lip, fiddling with the handles of the bag and the ends of the scarf.

And if some unfortunate person steps on the foot or accidentally pushes such a person, then his reaction can be completely unpredictable: from tears to swearing. This indicates that a person cannot find peace of mind and therefore every little thing can throw him off balance.

Calm, sir or how to become calmer?

But, fortunately, not everyone is like a maniac, capable of tearing apart a victim just because she dared to accidentally touch their sleeve. If you look closely, you will see that the faces of some passengers express complete serenity.

They dream of something beautiful, enjoy their favorite music on their iPod, and respond to the guy who stepped on their foot with a slight smile and the phrases: “It’s no big deal,” “Don’t worry,” “It happens,” etc.

This small category today no longer needs to learn how to find peace of mind; they have long become familiar with it. So why is it that some lucky people can maintain a serenity that even a lotus flower would envy, while others constantly resemble an angry bear that has been bitten by a swarm of bees?

“When you feel bad, listen to nature. The silence of the world is more soothing than millions of unnecessary words.”Confucius

Those who don’t like and don’t want to work on themselves explain everything in a primitive way: he was born so calm. Yes, indeed, it is much easier for people with strong nerves and a restrained character to live, but even the most violent choleric person can experience Zen after a little effort.

How to Find Peace of Mind: 10 Steps

Without work, nothing can be achieved in this life. And no one will hand you peace of mind on a silver platter. However, there are a number of rules, following which it will be much easier to find peace of mind.

1. Resist negativity.
Our world is imperfect and cruel! Hunger, war, cold, poverty, epidemics, natural disasters, dictators, maniacs - there is no end to these misfortunes. Are you able to change all this? And from the fact that you drive yourself into suicidal depression, worrying that children in Africa are starving, will you really help these very children? Learn to filter negative information, especially where you cannot change anything.

To maintain peace of mind, one must also avoid judging others in every possible way. Venerable Seraphim of Sarov (1833)

2. Think positively.
Despite all the failures and difficulties, you must learn to see (the positive aspects) in the little things.
Conclusions “I am the most beautiful”, “Everything will be fine”, “I will solve this problem”, “I will be happy” and the like should become permanent residents in your head.

3. Move from aimless worries to action.
If you really take all the problems of humanity to heart, then you can find peace of mind only by eliminating them.
Likes and shares on Facebook, crying over a photo of a homeless kitten have never brought anyone any benefit.

Instead of whining and fluttering in front of a computer or TV, it’s better to go volunteer - fortunately, today choosing a suitable organization is not a problem.
If you cannot devote enough time to this matter, then financial assistance charitable foundations is also a good solution.

4. Don't take more than you can carry.
Overwork is one of the main causes of stress.
By turning yourself into a pack donkey, hung with trunks with problems and tasks, you risk falling dead halfway.

5. Don't get involved in unnecessary disputes. Remember the joke about an old man who was asked how he could live to be a hundred years old in full health?

He replies: “I never argued with anyone.”
To the opponent’s cry: “But this is impossible!” he calmly replies: “You are absolutely right.”
Follow his lead.
Sometimes the truth is actually born in a dispute, but more often - harbingers of a heart attack.

6. Don't fuss and don't be late.

Surely many are familiar with the situations:
* you have an important meeting, but you couldn’t calculate the time to get ready correctly and now you’re rushing around the apartment in a panic and nervous that you ruined everything;
* you have reached the deadline for submitting the report last day, and now you’re worried that even a sleepless night won’t help you meet the deadline. Discipline, organization, schedules and lists will help you gain peace of mind.

7. Get rid of envy, suspicion and other destructive feelings and actions.
Negative thoughts and emotions create nothing. Moreover, the energy spent on anger, envious gossip, gloating, quarrels, etc., you could direct to something useful.

8. Make room for exercise in your life.
– an obligatory component of the life of every happy and successful person. Without active exercise, you'll just be a fat, sad loser.

9. Live an interesting and vibrant life.
People who are constantly busy with something, planning something, do not have too much time for bad news, torment and worries that destroy peace of mind.

10. Find a way to quickly calm down in stressful situations.
You can use already existing methods ( breathing exercises, count to ten, wash with cold water, listen to music, etc.) or - invent your own.
The main thing is that you can always pull yourself together.

Watch an excerpt from the film “Kung Fu Panda”, where Master Shifu teaches his unfortunate ward how to find inner peace :)

Let's look, smile and take note!

Well, do you really want to tell me that the proposed ways to find peace of mind are so complicated?

We bring ourselves to hysterics, insomnia, neuroses and other “pleasures”. While no one is stopping us from strengthening our stress resistance.

The most important thing is to try to be peaceful, and to be peaceful, do not touch any other people's affairs, avoid all sorts of absurd chatter, reading newspapers and listening to the news. Schema-abbot Ioann (Alekseev) (1873-1958).

45 Easiest Ways to Find Peace of Mind

In this age of haste, lack of rest and information overload, finding peace of mind is not so easy. We relive and chew on what has already happened, get nervous about current events, and worry about the future.

The problem is often not even the increased psychological stress, but the fact that we do not know how to properly get rid of this anxiety. For many, the relaxation process comes down to alcohol, coffee and a cigarette, or extreme hobbies. Meanwhile there are extreme simple methods find peace of mind literally in a few minutes. We offer you 45 such methods.

1. Take a deep breath for one-two-three-four, hold your breath for the same period, then exhale just as smoothly.

2. Take a pen and write down your thoughts on paper.

3. Recognize that life is complicated.

4. Write down three of your most successful events in life.

5. Tell a friend or loved one what he or she means to you.

6. Sit on the porch and do nothing. Promise yourself to do this more often.

7. Give yourself permission to just be lazy for a while.

8. Stare at the clouds for a few minutes.

9. Fly over your life in your imagination.

10. Unfocus your gaze and simply notice with your peripheral vision everything that is happening around you for a few minutes.

11. Give a few coins to charity.

12. Imagine that you are inside a transparent protective bubble that protects you.

13. Place your hand on your heart and feel how it beats. This is cool.

14. Promise yourself that no matter what you will maintain a positive attitude until the end of the day.

15. Be grateful that you don't always get what you want.

16. Think about how you would live your life if you knew for sure that you would never be rich.

17. Let your body do what it wants at this moment (nothing illegal, of course).

18. Smell fresh flowers.

20. Identify the most tense part of your body. Tighten it as hard as you can for a few seconds and then relax.

21. Go outside and touch something 100% natural. Feel the texture.

22. Look around and mentally label each object you see. Realize how simple these things really are.

23. Smile the stupidest smile in the world and imagine what you look like.

24. Think about your big problem as if your friend came to you for advice.

25. Imagine that you are connected to the earth and your roots extend to the center of the planet.

26. Massage your head with all ten fingers.

27. Count from 10 to 1 and listen for the echo after each number.

28. Feel the soil beneath you with your bare feet and realize your connection to our earth.

29. Stop focusing on other people.

30. Dare to say no.

31. Write a list of all the problems that bother you. Then filter out the ones that don't really depend on you or aren't very important.

32. Drink water (dehydration causes stress).

33. Live a life within your means.

34. Be aware of the difference between your wants and your needs.

35. Sincerely apologize to... well, you yourself know who you are to blame for.

36. Think about the vastness of the Universe and understand how invisible your troubles are.

37. Avoid quick fixes for complex problems and seek solutions at a deeper level.

38. Take some extra time to communicate with your child.

39. Listen to white noise and relaxing music - it's really relaxing.

40. Write down the best advice you ever received and apply it.

41. Take your dog for a walk.

42. Close your eyes and let the sun warm your eyelids.

43. Give yourself the opportunity to admit your mistakes.

44. Look at other people and recognize that they are people just like you - with their own hopes, dreams, fears and struggles.

45. Agree that there will always be someone richer, smarter, and stronger….

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Which of these tips are you already using successfully? everyday life to find inner peace? Or maybe you have your own secrets? Share them with us and our readers.

Answer

How to find peace of mind in a raging world of suffering, anxiety, worry, constant problems, etc.? How to maintain Christian peace of mind in situations when people irritate us or various situations infuriate us?

Often we feel tired and then we understand what the words of Christ mean: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (). He who is young cannot feel this fully: he has no burden, but a mature man himself has gone through many dangers, sorrows, difficulties, failures, powerlessness, and the years add fatigue and hardship to him, and he wants to rest, to put it where Somehow this burden, free yourself from it.

Who can truly give relief is Christ. No one else. Everything else that we do is human, it can only help us to some extent, for example: we can go on a trip, go to the village to visit a good friend, or to some other pleasant place. This also helps and calms us, but not deeply. Only Christ can truly give peace to a person’s soul, because He Himself is the Peace of our souls.

As we say at the Holy Liturgy, “we surrender ourselves, and each other, and our whole life to Christ our God.” Let us surrender to Christ all the heaviness of our “I” and the “I” of the people around us, our worries, anxieties, torments, fears, sorrows, pain, complaints - let us unload all this into the hands of God and surrender ourselves to Christ our God.

As Elder Paisios said more than once, we are like a man holding a bag full of junk on his back. And God comes and snatches it from our hands so that we do not carry this bag full of all sorts of obscenity, garbage and uncleanness, but we do not let it go. We want to keep it with us and carry it with us everywhere we go. But then God comes and snatches it away:

Yes, leave him, let him out, throw away this bag full of all sorts of things! Throw it away, don't carry it around. Well, why did you grab onto him? Why do you need it? So that you continue to be tormented and suffer in vain?

But we - no, we won’t let him out for anything! Like stubborn children clutching something tightly and not wanting to give it up.

A young man once came to Holy Mount Athos to become a monk, but he was tormented by some difficulties. And one day, when he was in the temple, the elder looked at his face and said:

Look at this young man: he does not allow a single thought to escape from him!

That is, he does not allow any thought to run away from him and he would remain for 5 minutes without thoughts.

His mind is like a mill, constantly grinding something. He puts material into it, puts stones, and it produces dust and sand.

He called him over and said:

Come here! Well, why are you sitting there like a television antenna, receiving all the waves sent from the transmitter! Leave at least some, let him run! Your mind is like a mill that is constantly turning. Watch what you put into your mind! Naturally, if you put in stones, dust and sand will come out and dust will rise in a column. So put good material in your mind. Put in good, good thoughts, good concepts, put in prayer, because this is how you only torment yourself. After all, everything that you endlessly grind falls on you, and not on anyone, and you are tormenting yourself in vain.

A person must learn to take care of himself so that there is no disorder in his mind that has no end and which destroys us: after all, our mind can destroy us and create many problems for us. Therefore, we must turn to God through prayer, confession, humility, and leave everything that occupies us in the hands of God, and find peace. And you will find rest for your souls.

Christ came into the world to comfort us, and not to confuse us, to confuse us. Give us peace, rest, because He knows that we are tired, and the more time passes, the more tired we become. This is a great art, and the Church owns it.

I once spoke with a psychologist, and he asked me:

How many people do you see per day?

I answered him:

Now that I’m older, I can’t stand much: 50–60, up to 70 a day. And when I lived in the Mahera monastery and was younger, sometimes there would be 150: I started at 4 in the morning and finished at 7–8 in the evening or later.

He told me:

What you are doing to yourself is not good, it is very cruel. We cannot accept more than ten people a day. As psychologists who accept people, we accept ten at most; we cannot stand more.

Yes, but only we have one advantage - as soon as we leave the confessional, everything disappears. This is an amazing phenomenon. After all, we hear so many things! Just think what the confessor hears. Nothing nice, and above all, no one tells us nice things. It's like seeing a doctor. Is there anyone who goes to the doctor who would say to him:

Doctor, I came for you to look at me, otherwise I’m too healthy!

No. Just illness, wounds, blood, pain. And we will not go to our confessor to tell him our virtues, achievements, joyful events in life, but only the bad, sorrowful, indecent things, only failures. But you are a human being, how long can you endlessly listen to nothing but bad things and sins?

One day a child asked me:

Sir, has anyone come to you to tell you that they have committed murder?

I told him:

And you weren't dumbfounded?

I wasn't dumbfounded.

He looked at me in surprise:

But seriously?

Yes, I'm serious.

And if he were alone... Many people today are burdened, and there are so many problems in the world. But we do not keep all this in ourselves, and therefore our stomach and heart do not suffer, we do not fall under the weight of human pain, but we transfer all this to Christ, because Christ is the Lamb of God who takes and sin-bearer the world, and our sin too. Christ is the One who is really present there and takes on all this load. But we don’t do anything, we are just ministers, we perform our service, and there is Christ, who accepts every person.

I tell you this not only from my experience as a person who confesses, that is, a believer who confesses once every 2-3 months, but also as a person who has been confessing people for more than 35 years, who has confessed thousands of people. And I tell you that this is a sacrament that we perform 50 times a day, and often daily, to the point of complete exhaustion, but I am absolutely convinced that Christ is present there. We see it all the time: He receives people, He listens to people, He responds to people, He heals a person, and we are spectators of all this.

Like a cashier in a bank, through whose hands millions of rubles pass per day, but they are not his. He takes them, writes them down, sends them to his boss - he just does the job. It's the same with the confessor. He is a witness, he testifies to God's presence there, he is an instrument that God uses. But Christ performs the great sacrament of healing a person, answers what a person asks, and performs the mystery of saving a person.

This is the greatest experience a person can have. I often say this when I ordain priests, that from now on you will see how God works with your hands. God will be a daily reality for you. It is a miracle, an everyday miracle, repeated hundreds of times a day, when all these interventions of God happen (as the fathers say) without you doing anything. You are simply fulfilling the external part of this connection between man and God, but in reality Christ, who takes away the sin of the world, takes on the load - ours and the whole world.

But in order to feel this, you must first understand that Christ takes away our sins - spiritual fathers, priests, bishops, and if He takes my sins, then He takes the sins of all people. And I cannot be indignant or doubt that He will bear the sins of my brother. Because ours personal experience- this is a huge proof that Christ came into the world to save sinners, as the holy Apostle Paul says, of whom I am the first ().

If Christ endures and saves me, if He did not reject me and put me out of sight, then I can tolerate any person, because, without any doubt, my brother is better than me. Whatever he did. Because, without any doubt, there is no one below me. This is how a person should feel that “there is no one lower than me.”

Although it seems to us that this is difficult, in fact it makes it very easy, because the more a person humbles himself before God, the more he recognizes that God is his Savior and thanks Him for saving him, for becoming a Man. for our sake, that endures us. And when I say “endures,” I mean myself, and not others, myself, each of us individually.

So, when I feel this, the more I feel it, the easier it becomes for me, and the more I cry and sob about my wretchedness and wretchedness, the more consolation I feel. This is the secret of the Church. You find joy not in worldly joy, but in pain. Where pain is visible, where sorrow is visible, where the cross is visible, where fatigue is visible, there is consolation. There, on the Cross, there is joy. As we say, “for behold, joy has come to the whole world through the Cross.”

In sorrow, in repentance, in the feat of repentance with humility, a person receives rest. This is something paradoxical. In the Church, the more a person cries, the more he rejoices. The more he learns the art of tears, crying in prayer, the more he rests and purifies. Tears in spiritual space are the key that reveals to us the secrets of God, the secrets of God's grace. And the more he cries, the more he rejoices, has fun, is consoled, purified and receives rest.

Our hope and faith are in Christ, He is our rest. Without Him we do not rest. No one can give us a rest. And what we think gives us rest tires us beyond belief. A person thinks that if he is rich, he will feel good. However, wealth is a merciless, merciless, cruel tyrant; there is no joy in it. It is a burden that, like a shadow, constantly haunts you.

A person may think that worldly fame gives relief when you have great fame, name, power in the world. But nothing like that, absolutely nothing: all this is fatigue, burden, deception, tormenting us unimaginably. None of this can bring relief to a person; he receives relief only near God, only in that which is true, genuine, only in that which conquers death. Everything else is doomed to death, and this tires us unimaginably, because first of all it brings us uncertainty.

What can help me? Can I count on my health? How's your health? After all, I don’t even know what will happen to me in the next minute. And, thank God, today we have so many diseases awaiting us. There are so many dangers, difficulties, misfortunes, fears. So who can give me certainty? Certainty is the false feeling that these worldly things give you.

As it is said in the Gospel about the last times that fear will reign on earth, today fear and uncertainty are a huge phenomenon. If you talk to someone about illness, he will immediately tell you: “Knock on wood so that we stay healthy!” Knock on wood. Yes, knock on anything: even on wood, even on a board, even on iron, even on a wall, whatever you want, but when the time comes to knock on your door of illness, then we will see what you will knock on. No matter what you knock on, you won't succeed.

We hide reality, it terrifies us. All this, in essence, torments us, while Christ really is the Quiet Light. He is God's Light, enlightening man, calming him, reassuring him, giving him a feeling of the eternal Kingdom of God. When a person has a feeling of the eternal Kingdom, what can terrify him, what can upset his mood? Nothing frightens him, not even death itself - for God's man all this takes on a different dimension.

Of course, we are people, and humanity functions in us, but, as the holy Apostle Paul says, we have hope in Christ. It is one thing to suffer without any hope, but another to have hope in Christ. This is a powerful foundation on which you stand, and it is difficult to shake you. This foundation is Christ, our Savior, towards whom we have boldness, because we feel Him as our own: “My Christ,” the saints said. And Christ, the Savior of the whole world, leads us to God. Having become Man, He led the whole world to God the Father.

Having faith in God, in Christ, we become unshakable. We do not hesitate, do not budge when we are overwhelmed by waves of temptation, lack of faith, difficulties, when difficult times come. After all, God allows even great saints to find themselves in very difficult situations, there are unimaginably difficult moments when God seems to leave people and is silent, and you feel that you are alone. And not only this, but all evil falls upon you at once, and one evil comes after another, one temptation comes after another, one failure after another, and you no longer see God anywhere. You don’t feel Him, as if He abandoned you. But we remain convinced that God is present.

As Elder Joseph the Hesychast said to himself when these thoughts were choking him: “Everything you say is good. There is a lot of logical confirmation and evidence that all this is as you say. But where is God here? Where is God? Will He leave us in this situation? Is it possible for God to leave us? God never leaves us. And if we fry in life’s temptations, then God is also there, with us.

And then, when these sorrows pass, we will see that the most spiritually fruitful period of our lives, when Christ was really with us, was precisely the period of many sorrows. There, among many sorrows, God's grace is hidden, and not among joys.

Among joys it is also good. And here we also thank God. But who doesn’t say in the midst of joy: “Glory to God”? Isn’t it true that when we experience joy, we say: “Glory to God! Everything is fine with us!” However, can we say: “Thank God, everything is bad with us! Thank God we are sick! Thank God we are dying! Thank God, everything is falling apart around me. But still – thank God”? Like Saint John, who always said and ended his life with the words: “Glory to God for everything!”

It is a great thing to praise God for everything: for the joyful and for the sorrowful, for the easy and for the difficult, for successes and for failures. But most of all for sorrow. Sorrows make us mature, and when everything is fine with us, we forget - such is our nature - we forget God, our neighbors, our brothers and all the people suffering around us...

Metropolitan Athanasius of Limassol

Translated from Bulgarian by Stanka Kosova

Faculty of Theology, University of Veliko Tarnovo

There is no life without problems. There is always something or someone that brings anxiety and trouble. Often the cause of trouble is the person himself. But the source of problems is not as significant as their solution, because this is the only way to get peace of mind. Or is there another way?

Throughout a person’s life, they encounter problems, they have no end and end, these are life lessons that make the soul and body stronger, smarter, more beautiful. So there's no point in hoping for complete solution all problems, they will appear again. But you can learn to live with them, to react correctly to them, so that it is not just easier to live, but also to find balance in your life and find peace of mind, so necessary for a normal, happy life and physical health. There are several tips, steps, after which you can look at the world with different eyes, stop getting angry over trifles and find peace of mind.

11 steps to calm and balance

  1. Awareness is the first step to solving a problem. It is impossible to escape from difficulties and worries; they will find you and punish you for your cowardice. It is better to accept and realize their significance. After all, there is no smoke without fire. Analyze the situation, where the problem came from, how it can be solved, but most importantly, take it for granted, because only by coming to terms with it can you really solve it completely.
  2. Everyone has shortcomings; they cannot be avoided or corrected. So there is no point in losing your temper while watching your husband throw dirty socks under the chair and not into the basket with dirty clothes. You love this person, so accept his shortcomings, these are parts of him, you cannot love only half. This also applies to other things: rain will fall in the fall, despite your desire, and the sun will mercilessly scorch the earth in the summer, even if the temperature has already reached 50 degrees. Your anger will not help here. But having relaxed, you can accept all the shortcomings of this world, all its worries and blessings, you just need to take off your rose-colored glasses, the world is not ideal, but even in the bad you can find something good if you look closely.
  3. Happiness is unattainable as long as there is resentment in the heart. And even if the offender is cruel and unfair, only by forgiving him can you begin to move on. Anger, like resentment, is destructive, it burns a person from the inside, and therefore does not give peace and only pushes him into the abyss. Anger does not bring goodness or goodness. All you need to do is let her go, of course, many will decide to take revenge before that, but this only makes sense if you want to give what they deserve to those who deserve it. For example, putting a person who has committed a crime in prison will be much more prudent than turning a blind eye to his sins. But taking undeserved revenge is even worse than being angry or offended. You hurt an innocent person, and therefore destroy your harmony, your balance.
  4. Try to exclude negativity from your daily “menu”. Bad news on TV, an angry neighbor, or an angry boss, quarrels. This means not just turning around and leaving, but paying less attention to it. They yell or get angry, it doesn’t concern you, you yourself know what you are guilty of and what you are not guilty of and solve all your shortcomings, but there is no point in accepting the bad energy of your boss.
  5. A spark of hope and goodness can be seen even where, it would seem, it definitely cannot be. Pay attention to things that, although mundane, bring joy and pleasure: a warm bath, hot coffee, autumn leaves swirling beautifully above your head, or rain that brings with it at least just a beautiful landscape or a rainbow. Of course, big problems - money, family, love - will not go away, but this does not mean that you should always walk around as a gloomy person. Even if you don’t have enough money now, but you are drinking your favorite delicious tea, or eating a delicious dish at this very moment, and this is what is important. Joy from little things sometimes brings relief that there is still joy and throughout the whole day there were not only bad moments, but also good ones.
  6. Having accepted and realized all the previous points, start thinking about today. Yesterday was a terrible day, and in three days you have a difficult exam to take. But today it has already passed and has not yet come, so why think about it? Get the most out of this day, achieve something important, think about an interesting movie, in the end, prepare for this exam, but with positive thoughts. Everything is possible, the exam can be given automatically! And the chance of this is insignificant, it still exists. Setting yourself up for the worst case scenario will only increase your anxiety and fear.
  7. “All things shall pass” is a phrase written on Solomon’s ring, one of the the wisest people of all times. And it is not without reason. Everything really goes away. The day is coming to an end, the pain may leave a scar, but not remain whole, original forever, sooner or later the wounds heal, even if they leave a mark in the memory. But still, any difficulties make a person stronger or completely break him. You will always have time to try the second option, so why not try to implement the first? When faced with any difficulty, immediately think that it will make you stronger, and not that this is a new painful problem.
  8. Sooner or later, a day comes when everything suddenly falls like a cumbersome stone on your fragile shoulders: problems at home, with your loved one, at work, and on the way, your stockings were torn! But if you run after all your problems at once, you won’t have time to do anything. Stop, pour a cup of tea or coffee, sit in a chair and just close your eyes. Throw everything out of your head, feel how the warmth of the cup warms your hands, giving you its warmth. Now this cup is on your side, a kind of lifeline from the cold cold of your problems, and tea will help you gather strength and get everything done.
  9. Problems are different, sometimes it seems that you were deceived, that you were not given the happiness you wanted, that your loved one left you or that you were fired from your job. My heart is breaking with pain and my rent bill is haunting me. But perhaps this is your chance, not your problem? Some troubles are actually a chance, for example, find a better paying job, or meet true love, someone who will value you more than anything in the world, love and protect you. Just learn to accept problems, considering at least both sides, negative and positive. Then they won't be so scary for you.
  10. Life is a game. Taking it completely seriously only makes it harder. Let this expression guide you through life, a difficult conference is at hand, let it become a race, what if you win?
  11. Think less. If from bad thoughts not to escape or you realize that you are making yourself more negative, then stop thinking, occupy yourself with something that fills your thoughts. When one thing is done, take on another. The point is not to think, but to do. And laugh more, negative thoughts turn to dust when they hear the sound of laughter, laugh at problems or at least smile, this will give you strength to fight.

In addition to everything mentioned above, it is worth emphasizing two more surefire ways to improve your perception of the world and find harmony: sports and yoga. Sport helps produce hormones of happiness and normalize health, and yoga is considered best friend in search of balance and calm, thanks to it you will learn to rebuild and calm down in time even in the most difficult situations.

Peace of mind and harmony are one of the prerequisites for achieving a full and happy life. We feel more confident and complete when we are in a state of inner peace! This is a state when we are balanced, attentive and aware. Maintaining peace of mind is much easier when we have time for rest, relaxation, meditation or prayer! When we are in critical situations or circumstances that are not comfortable for us, calm begins to leave us. But by resuming activities that help to find inner silence, life gradually gets better again. Lots of people go through this cycle. From this we can conclude: “If you don’t have time for peace and rest, then it is absolutely necessary for you”.

What is peace of mind and why do we need it?

Peace of mind is a state of harmony with oneself and with the whole world. But above all, peace is balance. If we compare the soul to a musical instrument, then an internally calm state is when the strings of the soul sound harmonious and natural. The sound is beautiful and pleasant for everyone! But when we are tense and fussy, the sound will be strained, unnatural and unpleasant.

Being in peace of mind, we are full of energy and in a good mood! We can easily resist diseases and bad mood those around us, we are better at any task. We become more creative, we analyze better and solve problems faster. When peace of mind leaves us and we become unbalanced, our energy drops and we attract depression and illness. During internal tension Many things don’t work out as we would like and we make more mistakes.

Every time we get angry, fuss in vain or become depressed, etc., it’s as if we are spilling precious energy from our soul vessel. This energy is very difficult to replenish! Think twice before the next time you inadvertently lose your temper, get nervous, get angry, think negatively, speak, and just fuss in vain.

Peace of mind is a natural state for humans, this is why it is so necessary and desirable for us! When it disappears, we begin to experience discomfort and uncertainty. In the subconscious we want to return to this state. There is a desire to “be by yourself” or take a walk in the park in order to restore spiritual harmony.

Many people confuse inner peace of mind with lethargy, laziness or apathy. But that's not true! You can perform active external activities while maintaining inner peace. Activity even tends to be much better when you are in a state of inner peace. This is a state in which you are collected, aware and attentive.

For people who practice martial arts, it is no secret that remaining calm and balanced is the key to victory. Once you start practicing martial arts, you will learn that strength comes from balance and awareness. Just add negative emotions, inattention or unnecessary fuss, and your song is done. Balance and peace of mind are the sources of our self-confidence. Calm does not mean sleepy! Calm is the control of force, and tension is opposition to it.. Calmness is the ability to see the big picture without focusing on the details.

Only within yourself can you find peace and confidence. There is no peace and stability in the world around us; everything around is in a state of constant variability. How can we cope with the unpredictability of life? Only by accepting it! Tell yourself: “I am prepared for all surprises and will face them with calm clarity.” Make a decision: “No matter what happens, I will deal with it in the best way possible.” It's not so important what happens around you, what matters is what happens inside! A ship does not sink when it is in water, it sinks when there is water in it. No matter how hectic and chaotic you are, it is much more important to maintain inner peace of mind. You lose if you are unconscious, tense, angry or resentful. It's not the circumstances that matter, but how we react to them.!

How to maintain peace of mind and balance in any situation?

  • Acceptance. Accept everything as it is, it will give you ease. Learn to accept people and circumstances as they are, without the desire to adjust them to your standards and desires. Also learn to accept and love yourself as you are, with all your mistakes and shortcomings!
  • Attention. Remove the focus of attention from the irritant and concentrate it on yourself, on your inner world, on sensations in the body. Abstract yourself from external factors and irritants.
  • Deep relaxation. Remove anxiety, haste, anger, resentment, etc. If tension arises in your body, remove it. Be completely relaxed inside!
  • Breath. Watch your breathing, breathe evenly and calmly, deeply. The exhalation should not be shorter than the duration of the inhalation. Take a deep breath and exhale. Continue to breathe evenly and measuredly.
  • Mindfulness. Be as aware and collected as possible.
  • Think positively. Stop creating negative thoughts, and if such have nevertheless made their way into your consciousness, then simply observe them, watch how they leave you and dissolve, like waves from a stone thrown into a lake. Try to think well about others, about yourself, about life, etc.
  • Respect. Respect yourself and others.
  • Confidence. Be confident. Cheer yourself up, tell yourself “I can do everything.”
  • Naturalness. Try to be natural, relaxed and relaxed.
  • Smile. Smile more often. Always smile when looking in the mirror when communicating with other people. Smile from your heart and be in a joyful mood. Treat everything with humor!

Be, just be, without unnecessary thoughts. Be present in the present moment. Be a bystander. Observe the events occurring detachedly, track the causes of events, without thoughts. Just be.

If you want to protect yourself from all adversities, you have chosen the wrong planet. Here we are constantly faced with situations that push us out of our comfort zone and throw us out of balance. We must always be ready for this challenge. Stop living like a cowardly rabbit, accept all the challenges of fate calmly. Stop taking the position of a victim, which everyone is trying to offend or catch. If something unpleasant for us happens to us, it is only to teach us something and make us stronger. We just need to see the lesson in this, learn from the positive experience and move on!

Conquer yourself and yours first negative thinking, your cowardice, anger, resentment, etc. Having restored inner peace, it is much easier for us to cope with emerging tasks! Life will remain a hard struggle if we believe so. But life can become interesting game, if we start to think like that. You shouldn’t resist life, you need to use the circumstances and opportunities that are at hand. And create a more enjoyable life, achieve your desired goals.

What helps you find peace of mind?

  • Take responsibility for your life. Having done this, you will stop worrying about the political situation in the country or waiting for a new president to come and life will become better. It all depends on your actions.
  • Forget the bad, concentrate on the good.
  • Stop expecting only the worst. Learn to trust life. Notice more good things in life.
  • Forgive people for their mistakes, be the first to seek reconciliation in quarrels with loved ones.
  • Stop unnecessarily stressing yourself and others out. Stop fussing.
  • Communicate with strong, healthy, successful people, causing you positive emotions. Avoid people who constantly complain to you about their failures.
  • Meditation is very good way restore peace of mind!
  • Listen to pleasant music, watch inspiring films.
  • Stop watching news reports, and generally keep your TV viewing to a minimum.
  • Walk in nature, in the park, listen to birdsong, enjoy the sunrise and sunset.
  • Gratitude for everything that happens, both good and bad. All events in our lives can become excellent teachers, we just need to look at them from a higher point of view.
  • Develop a way to quickly restore peace of mind. You can use existing methods (breathing exercises, counting to ten, washing with cold water, listening to music, etc.) or invent your own.

To find peace of mind, you need to develop the habit of periodically giving yourself rest, disconnecting from the hustle and bustle, rush and important matters. People who have achieved peace of mind often perform certain practices. Some pray, others meditate, others take a walk in the park in nature. Everyone finds their own way of relaxation and immersion in inner silence. This helps us better understand and tune ourselves.

Each of us needs a place where he can be in peace and quiet. Everyone needs that treasured place where the phones don't ring, where there's no TV, no Internet, no annoying people. Let it be a nook in the bedroom, a corner on the balcony or a bench in the park - this is our territory for reflection and restoration of inner balance and peace of mind.

Staying in inner silence will save you much more time than you spend on it! Make it a habit - set yourself up the way you set up musical instrument. Twenty to thirty minutes every day - so that the strings of your soul sound clean and harmonious. Wake up every morning with the intention of being calm and balanced. Some days you will be able to hold out until the evening, and sometimes only until breakfast. But if maintaining peace of mind becomes your goal, you will gradually learn this, perhaps one of the most important arts in your life.

An interesting story about peace of mind:

One famous and rich man wanted to have a painting that, just looking at it, would make his soul calm. He established a prize and promised a million to the one who painted the calmest picture of all. And then works by artists began to arrive from different parts of the country, and there were countless of them.

Having looked through everything, the rich man especially noted only two of them. One, bright and rainbow-colored, depicted a completely idyllic landscape: a blue lake sparkled in the midday summer sun, surrounded by trees with branches stretching to the water; White swans swam across the water surface, and in the distance one could see a small village and horses peacefully grazing in a meadow.

The second picture was the complete opposite of the first: in it the artist depicted a high gray rock towering above the restless sea. A storm was raging, the waves were so high that they reached almost to the middle of the cliff; low thunderclouds hung gloomily over the area, and at the top of the cliff one could see dark and ominous silhouettes of trees, illuminated by endless lightning. This picture could hardly be called calm. But, looking closer, under the shadow of the cliff the rich man saw a small bush growing from a crack in the rock. And on it was a nest, and inside it a small white bird sat proudly. Sitting there, surrounded by the madness of the elements, she still calmly hatched her future chicks.

It was this painting that the rich man chose, considering that it radiated calmness much more strongly than the first. And all because, in fact, the feeling of peace does not come when there is silence around and nothing happens. On the contrary, when, no matter what happens around you, you can remain calm within yourself.

A fun video about peace of mind:

And finally, some wisdom from Master Shifu about inner peace:

In this article we have offered you several simple and simple ways how to maintain peace of mind. Using which you can qualitatively improve your life.

If you have other interesting ways and options for achieving inner peace, write them in the comments, we are always glad to see you.

We hope that this article was interesting and useful for you. Good luck!