Gennady Vladimirovich Starshenbaum, Candidate of Medical Sciences, psychotherapist highest category, professor at the Institute of Psychoanalysis at Moscow State University, where he teaches several courses.
In order for criticism to be fruitful, not offensive and not offensive, you must use the following simple rules.
1. First of all, remove the accusatory “sting” from criticism and shift the emphasis to constructive proposals.
2. It is advisable to make comments in private so as not to hurt the pride of the person being criticized.
3. Strive to sincerely and seriously understand your partner’s point of view; discuss the arguments for and against; show sympathy for his thoughts and desires.
4. Show respect for your partner’s opinion without immediately and harshly rejecting it, even if it seems absurd to you. Give the opportunity to speak out to the end and try not to prove, but to find out the facts.
5. Conduct the conversation in a friendly, firm and calm tone. Try to start with a topic on which you and your interlocutor have mutual agreement. If possible, start with questions on which there is a common opinion that can elicit an affirmative answer and, thus, set the partner up for agreement. If a person says “no” from the very beginning of the conversation, it is difficult to convince him, since pride does not allow him to refuse the expressed opinion, even if he feels that he was initially wrong. Spare the ego of your interlocutor.
6. If you want to point out to a person his mistake, start with praise and sincere recognition of his merits.
7. When drawing people's attention to their mistakes, try to do it in an indirect form. For example, remember a similar case.
8. Use “ricochet” criticism: criticism of the actions of an abstract (fictional) person.
9. You need to put forward your opinion (disagreement, criticism) as a matter of discussion, without imposing it.
10. Do not use unjustified methods of strengthening argumentation. Arguments like: “How many times have I told you!” are undesirable. An incorrect way to strengthen a statement is to raise your voice. If you have a desire to say something sharp, offensive to your partner, take your time - first take a few deep breaths and exhalations or silently count to 10-30, make a few smooth movements with your tongue in your mouth, say to yourself some figurative, but harmless expression.
11. Introduce psychological pauses to people in a state of quarrel. They will help reduce emotional intensity, turn to the logic of things, self-esteem, and maybe seek advice from loved ones. Do not demand immediate, momentary recognition of mistakes from your partner, agreement with your point of view, with your opinion on this issue. Psychologically this is difficult, give time to think, don’t insist.
12. Admit your mistake or wrong step quickly, decisively and sincerely.
13. Along with criticism, reasoned self-criticism is desirable. Before criticizing another, talk about your own mistakes. The critic's admission of guilt and his own mistakes allows him to perceive criticism less harshly, and his pride is less wounded.
14. Make the flaw look easy to fix. Very often people are depressed by the hopelessness of their situation. Don’t put pressure on the psyche, but help find a way out.
15. Talk only about the matter, do not get personal: criticize actions, not the person. Give him the opportunity to “save face.”
It is important to remember this pattern: the more excited a person is, the more his pride is hurt, the less sensitive he is to logic, the more biased and subjective he is, and the more tactful an approach he requires.
If you notice that someone is getting too heated in an argument, it is better to reschedule the conversation for another time.
Forms of constructive criticism
It is very easy to praise a subordinate. It is much more difficult to make a correct, businesslike, non-offensive remark to him. Here are some possible critiques.
Encouraging criticism: “Nothing. Next time you'll do better. But now it didn’t work out”;
Criticism-reproach: “Well, what are you doing? I was counting on you so much!”;
Criticism-hope: “I hope you will do this task better next time”;
Criticism-analogy: “Before, when I was like you, I made exactly the same mistake. Well, I got it from my boss!”;
Criticism-praise: “The work was done well. But not for this case”;
Impersonal criticism: “There are still employees in our team who cannot cope with their responsibilities. We will not name their names”;
Criticism-concern: “I am very concerned about the current state of affairs, especially among our comrades like...”;
Criticism-empathy: “I understand you well, I get into your position, but you also get into mine. After all, the job is not done...”;
Criticism-regret: “I am very sorry, but I must note that the work was done poorly”;
Criticism-surprise: “How?! Haven't you done this work?! I didn’t expect...";
Criticism-irony: “They did it, they did it and... they did it. What a job it takes! But how are we going to look our bosses in the eyes now?!”;
Criticism-reproach: “Oh, you! I had a much higher opinion of you”;
Hint Criticism: “I knew someone who did exactly the same thing as you. Then he had a bad time...”;
Criticism-mitigation: “What did they do so carelessly? And at the wrong time?!”;
Criticism-remark: “They did it wrong. Next time, consult”;
Criticism-warning: “If you allow marriage to happen again, blame yourself!”;
Criticism-demand: “You will have to redo the work!”;
Critique-challenge: “If you have made so many mistakes, decide for yourself how to get out of the situation”;
Constructive criticism: “The work was done incorrectly. What are you going to do now?”;
Criticism-concern: “I am very afraid that next time the work will be completed at this level.”
All these forms are good, provided that the subordinate respects his boss and values his opinion about himself. Wanting to look decent in the eyes of the manager, the employee will make every effort to correct the situation. Especially if the criticism was gentle.
When a subordinate does not treat his boss very kindly, it is better to combine negative assessments with positive ones.
How to take criticism
Criticism only becomes useful when people accept it. This rule can be reduced to the following settings.
Criticism addressed to me is my personal reserve for improvement.
Criticism is a form of help to eliminate shortcomings in work.
There is no criticism that cannot be benefited from.
Any retouching of criticism is harmful, since it “drives the disease inside” and thereby makes it difficult to overcome shortcomings.
The business perception of criticism should not depend on who (which person, for what purposes) makes critical remarks.
The perception of criticism should not depend on the form in which it is presented: the main thing is that the shortcomings are analyzed.
The central principle of accepting criticism constructively is “everything I have done can be done better.”
The most valuable benefit of external criticism is to find a rational grain for yourself, even where it is not visible at first glance.
Any criticism requires thinking at a minimum about what caused it, and at most - how to correct the situation.
A useful way to deal with criticism is to see areas of work that have fallen outside your field of vision.
The first step in correctly perceiving criticism is fixing it, the second is understanding from the point of view of its benefits to the cause, the third is correcting the shortcoming, the fourth is creating conditions that prevent its repetition.
If they criticize me, it means they believe in my ability to fix things and work without failures.
When there is no criticism addressed to you, this is an indicator of disdain for you as an employee or lack of faith in your ability to perceive it in a businesslike manner.
The most valuable criticism is that which points out the imperfections of what appears to be normal.
Criticism of the possible negative consequences of the decisions I have made is a prerequisite for the timely prevention of work failures.
The person being criticized has no right to be offended; he only has the right to constructively comprehend what is said to him.
The person being criticized has the right to counter-criticism. He can actively defend his position. The only thing he is strictly forbidden to do is distort facts for the sake of justification.
A large number of biased (unfair) criticisms is an indicator of bad psychological climate in a team. This in itself requires active critical reflection.
If I reacted to a critical remark with restraint and in a businesslike manner, it means I have overcome myself, I am a strong person.
Any criticism is useful if only because it allows you to find out the attitude of the critic towards you, which could be expressed in more extreme forms.
The most favorable response to criticism produces a concrete commitment to what will be done to improve things, with a specific time frame and realistic possibilities.
Acknowledging criticism means accepting responsibility for correcting shortcomings.
Even if the critic is mistaken, one should not rush to rebuke him: in order to involve others in the sphere of criticism, it is useful to support his attempt to critically understand the matter.
It’s easy to praise; it’s much more difficult to make a correct, business-like, non-offensive remark. In order for the criticism to be fruitful, not offensive or offensive, it is necessary to use the following possible options for simple critical assessments.
In order for criticism to be fruitful, not offensive and not offensive, you must use the following simple rules.
1. First of all, remove the accusatory “sting” from criticism and shift the emphasis to constructive proposals.
2. It is advisable to make comments in private so as not to hurt the pride of the person being criticized.
3. Strive to sincerely and seriously understand your partner’s point of view; discuss the arguments for and against; show sympathy for his thoughts and desires.
4. Show respect for your partner’s opinion without immediately and harshly rejecting it, even if it seems absurd to you. Give the opportunity to speak out to the end and try not to prove, but to find out the facts.
5. Conduct the conversation in a friendly, firm and calm tone. Try to start with a topic on which you and your interlocutor have mutual agreement. If possible, start with questions on which there is a common opinion that can elicit an affirmative answer and, thus, set the partner up for agreement. If a person says “no” from the very beginning of the conversation, it is difficult to convince him, since pride does not allow him to refuse the expressed opinion, even if he feels that he was initially wrong. Spare the ego of your interlocutor.
6. If you want to point out to a person his mistake, start with praise and sincere recognition of his merits.
7. When drawing people's attention to their mistakes, try to do it in an indirect form. For example, remember a similar case.
8. Use “ricochet” criticism: criticism of the actions of an abstract (fictional) person.
9. You need to put forward your opinion (disagreement, criticism) as a matter of discussion, without imposing it.
10. Do not use unjustified methods of strengthening argumentation. Arguments like: “How many times have I told you!” are undesirable. An incorrect way to strengthen a statement is to raise your voice. If you have a desire to say something sharp, offensive to your partner, take your time - first take a few deep breaths and exhalations or silently count to 10-30, make a few smooth movements with your tongue in your mouth, say to yourself some figurative, but harmless expression.
11. Introduce psychological pauses to people in a state of quarrel. They will help reduce emotional intensity, turn to the logic of things, self-esteem, and maybe seek advice from loved ones. Do not demand immediate, momentary recognition of mistakes from your partner, agreement with your point of view, with your opinion on this issue. Psychologically this is difficult, give time to think, don’t insist.
12. Admit your mistake or wrong step quickly, decisively and sincerely.
13. Along with criticism, reasoned self-criticism is desirable. Before criticizing another, talk about your own mistakes. The critic's admission of guilt and his own mistakes allows him to perceive criticism less harshly, and his pride is less wounded.
14. Make the flaw look easy to fix. Very often people are depressed by the hopelessness of their situation. Don’t put pressure on the psyche, but help find a way out.
15. Talk only about the matter, do not get personal: criticize actions, not the person. Give him the opportunity to “save face.”
It is important to remember this pattern: the more excited a person is, the more his pride is hurt, the less sensitive he is to logic, the more biased and subjective he is, and the more tactful an approach he requires.
If you notice that someone is getting too heated in an argument, it is better to reschedule the conversation for another time.
Forms of constructive criticism
It is very easy to praise a subordinate. It is much more difficult to make a correct, businesslike, non-offensive remark to him. Here are some possible critiques.
Encouraging criticism: “Nothing. Next time you'll do better. But now it didn’t work out”;
Criticism-reproach: “Well, what are you doing? I was counting on you so much!”;
Criticism-hope: “I hope you will do this task better next time”;
Criticism-analogy: “Before, when I was like you, I made exactly the same mistake. Well, I got it from my boss!”;
Criticism-praise: “The work was done well. But not for this case”;
Impersonal criticism: “There are still employees in our team who cannot cope with their responsibilities. We will not name their names”;
Criticism-concern: “I am very concerned about the current state of affairs, especially among our comrades like...”;
Criticism-empathy: “I understand you well, I get into your position, but you also get into mine. After all, the job is not done...”;
Criticism-regret: “I am very sorry, but I must note that the work was done poorly”;
Criticism-surprise: “How?! Haven't you done this work?! I didn’t expect...";
Criticism-irony: “They did it, they did it and... they did it. What a job it takes! But how are we going to look our bosses in the eyes now?!”;
Criticism-reproach: “Oh, you! I had a much higher opinion of you”;
Hint Criticism: “I knew someone who did exactly the same thing as you. Then he had a bad time...”;
Criticism-mitigation: “What did they do so carelessly? And at the wrong time?!”;
Criticism-remark: “They did it wrong. Next time, consult”;
Criticism-warning: “If you allow marriage to happen again, blame yourself!”;
Criticism-demand: “You will have to redo the work!”;
Critique-challenge: “If you have made so many mistakes, decide for yourself how to get out of the situation”;
Constructive criticism: “The work was done incorrectly. What are you going to do now?”;
Criticism-concern: “I am very afraid that next time the work will be completed at this level.”
All these forms are good, provided that the subordinate respects his boss and values his opinion about himself. Wanting to look decent in the eyes of the manager, the employee will make every effort to correct the situation. Especially if the criticism was gentle.
When a subordinate does not treat his boss very kindly, it is better to combine negative assessments with positive ones.
How to take criticism
Criticism only becomes useful when people accept it. This rule can be reduced to the following settings.
Criticism addressed to me is my personal reserve for improvement.
Criticism is a form of help to eliminate shortcomings in work.
There is no criticism that cannot be benefited from.
Any retouching of criticism is harmful, since it “drives the disease inside” and thereby makes it difficult to overcome shortcomings.
The business perception of criticism should not depend on who (which person, for what purposes) makes critical remarks.
The perception of criticism should not depend on the form in which it is presented: the main thing is that the shortcomings are analyzed.
The central principle of accepting criticism constructively is “everything I have done can be done better.”
The most valuable benefit of external criticism is to find a rational grain for yourself, even where it is not visible at first glance.
Any criticism requires thinking at a minimum about what caused it, and at most - how to correct the situation.
A useful way to deal with criticism is to see areas of work that have fallen outside your field of vision.
The first step in correctly perceiving criticism is fixing it, the second is understanding from the point of view of its benefits to the cause, the third is correcting the shortcoming, the fourth is creating conditions that prevent its repetition.
If they criticize me, it means they believe in my ability to fix things and work without failures.
When there is no criticism addressed to you, this is an indicator of disdain for you as an employee or lack of faith in your ability to perceive it in a businesslike manner.
The most valuable criticism is that which points out the imperfections of what appears to be normal.
Criticism of the possible negative consequences of the decisions I have made is a prerequisite for the timely prevention of work failures.
The person being criticized has no right to be offended; he only has the right to constructively comprehend what is said to him.
The person being criticized has the right to counter-criticism. He can actively defend his position. The only thing he is strictly forbidden to do is distort facts for the sake of justification.
A large number of biased (unfair) criticisms are an indicator of a poor psychological climate in the team. This in itself requires active critical reflection.
If I reacted to a critical remark with restraint and in a businesslike manner, it means I have overcome myself, I am a strong person.
Any criticism is useful if only because it allows you to find out the attitude of the critic towards you, which could be expressed in more extreme forms.
The most favorable response to criticism produces a concrete commitment to what will be done to improve things, with a specific time frame and realistic possibilities.
Acknowledging criticism means accepting responsibility for correcting shortcomings.
Even if the critic is mistaken, one should not rush to rebuke him: in order to involve others in the sphere of criticism, it is useful to support his attempt to critically understand the matter.
All participants in the discussion of any problem have the same rights and are equally subject to these rules.
Criticism is an individual or collective expression of opinion, judgment, evaluation of an action, way of thinking, behavior of an individual or group of people with an emphasis on shortcomings.Constructive criticism is criticism that, in addition to pointing out shortcomings, contains possible ways to eliminate them; is positive.
The basic rules of criticism are the following:
1. Criticism should always begin with praise, with recognition of the true merits of the person being criticized, and only after that can one move on to the subject of criticism. A critical conversation should include three parts. The first part of the conversation is aimed at creating a favorable mood for accepting criticism. If you have called an offending subordinate for a conversation, then, regardless of your emotional state, you should greet them in a friendly manner and start the conversation with positive personal and business characteristics of the invitee. After this, proceed to analyze the mistake or miscalculation made and draw the appropriate conclusions and apply the necessary sanctions. Then again talk about the merits of the person being criticized, expressing the hope that such an offense will not happen again. By psychological law the first and last phrases, they are the ones that remain in memory, and, therefore, form motivation.
2. Don't reject someone else's opinion just because you don't agree with it. Do not categorically declare that a person is wrong. Everyone sees the world around us in his own way and has the right to his own opinion.
3. When preparing to criticize another, remember your shortcomings and your mistakes when, perhaps, you were in his place. If this helps smooth out the situation, then remember these situations, this will soften the perception of criticism, make the opponent’s defense unnecessary, and will bring you closer to the person being criticized, since “nothing human is alien to you.”
4. Never criticize the personality of the person being criticized; focus your attention only on the offense.
5. Let the person being criticized save their prestige.
6. Create the impression that the mistake made is easily corrected.
7. Get people to want to make the amendments you propose.
8. Focus on the main thing, do not get distracted by trifles.
9. Criticize only on this specific occasion, there is no need to remember past mistakes.
10. Try to limit blaming words and focus on constructive suggestions.
11. You should not rely on logic if the person being criticized is in a state of emotional arousal: he will not hear you. Take mental breaks to reduce tension.
12. Remember that you only have one minute to be heard, because after that your opponent will turn his attention to finding arguments to refute your criticisms. Try to say the most important thing in this very minute.
13. Do not demand immediate admission of mistakes or agreement with your position. Give the person being criticized time so that he is psychologically ready to do it.
14. Do not criticize in public so as not to hurt your opponent’s pride.
15. Try to use different shapes criticism in accordance with the individuality of the person being criticized and the circumstances. Criticism can be expressed as: reproach, empathy, concern, surprise, irony, hint, demand, remark, challenge, fear, hope, analogy, praise, encouraging criticism, indifference, etc.
How to respond to criticism:
Stage 1. Clarification of details (find out what you don’t like)
Stage 2. Acknowledgment of criticism
A) if you completely agree, then you acknowledge the criticism, say that you are wrong, correct yourself next time and thank;
B) if not completely, then still agree, but explain, explain why you are acting a little differently;
C) agree with what you can, and then explain what you disagree with and why.
A competent response to criticism:
Even if you do not agree with the critic, and his actions irritate you, you need to answer quietly and slowly (calmly), otherwise they will think that the criticism has a basis;
When responding to a remark, it is better to address the audience rather than the critic;
Don't get angry or offended if a critic makes a sharp attack;
At the very beginning of the response to criticism, it is worth noting that in some ways your opinions agree;
The response to criticism must be consistent and logical, counterarguments must be provided;
Correctly tune in to criticism as the desire of others to improve your work.
These tips will help you perceive and respond to criticism more easily, and will also help you in situations where you yourself will act as a critic.
Constructive criticism is statements pointing out shortcomings in someone’s actions, based on compliance with ethical standards.
In the course of their professional activities, many employees are faced with the need, and in some cases the desire, to make critical remarks about their colleagues, participants in a business conversation, negotiating partners, etc. The role of the head of a department is inevitably associated with the task of critically assessing the activities , actions, behavior of their subordinates. The need for a critical analysis of the work of employees is one of the specific functions of a manager of any rank. If for some reason he refuses to carry it out, then this can become a direct path to a decrease in efficiency and discipline in the unit entrusted to him. There is hardly any team whose performance is so impeccable that it does not require critical comments from the manager.
On the other hand, the human psyche is designed in such a way that almost any criticism addressed to us is perceived quite painfully. The manager's performance of critical analysis of the activities and behavior of employees is often a source of resentment, mutual reproaches, and aggravation of relations. Sometimes one of the criteria for classifying a manager as so-called “difficult” may be precisely the performance of a critical assessment.
Many specialists, even without formally holding the rank of manager, must perform a number of organizational and control functions related to the need for a critical analysis of the tasks performed by other employees. Moreover, in the process collaboration, meetings, negotiations, one side has claims to the other side, to the external environment. Moreover, criticism can be caused by both objective and subjective necessity. Objective necessity is determined by deviations from formal, organizationally regulated processes of professional activity, non-compliance by the performer with any instructions. If such a relationship between actions and regulations is not visible, then in this case we can talk about the subjective need for criticism. In other words, it is determined by the personal perception of the manager (or other critical person) of a particular production situation. Subjective criticism can be caused by someone's failure to comply with ethical standards and rules of conduct.
Often criticism becomes an end in itself, while a person does not think about its results and positive impact on the current situation. In this case, criticism serves as a means of relieving nervous tension, and the criticizing party takes into account how this affects the person being criticized.
The above indicates that criticism is a rather complex, responsible element business communication, often leading to contradictory consequences.
When faced with the objective or subjective need to make critical comments about someone, you should exercise maximum caution and correctness. Based on the experience of human communication, certain rules have been developed, non-compliance with which negates efforts aimed at critically analyzing the situation. Ignoring, or more often, ignorance of the rules of criticism leads to the fact that the criticized party develops a “protective barrier”, resentment, and a feeling of violated dignity. As a result, even useful, objective criticism is not perceived constructively. Probably, compliance with ethical norms and rules of criticism is unlikely to be able to completely eliminate its negative impact on the mental well-being and mood of the criticized party. However, compliance with these norms and rules can minimize the severity of the problem under consideration and maintain normal relationships between employees. The rules of criticism are aimed at increasing its constructiveness and receptivity.
In many cases, it is important not only to adhere to the rules of criticism, but also to the general consistency of their application during the conversation. In Fig. 9.2 presents the basic rules of criticism and their recommended sequence.
Violation of this sequence can lead to a decrease in the effectiveness of receiving criticism.
The answer to the question “do you have the right to criticize?” depends mainly on the professional role that the critic performs within a particular organization. If, due to your professional functions and additional powers assigned to you, you are not endowed with the right to critically analyze the activities of other employees, it is better to refuse criticism of anyone. It is unlikely to be received constructively and in a businesslike manner. But in any case, if you decide to critical assessment colleagues, follow these rules. They reduce the likelihood that the criticized party will turn on the “protective barrier” and your efforts will cause irritation and resentment in her.
The above rules may include some exceptions. So, for example, in a number of cases criticism in front of witnesses is justified using the power of public opinion and the authority of the team to influence a particular employee.
Almost every person throughout his life is repeatedly faced with the need to perceive critical comments addressed to him. Even if the critic knows and uses the appropriate ethical rules, criticism is perceived quite painfully. This is predetermined by the objective characteristics of the human psyche. Moreover, you have to accept criticism in the course of your entire professional activity much more often than you yourself direct critical remarks to someone else. Even a leadership position presupposes, in certain cases, the presence of senior management. In addition, many people from our external environment often experience a subjective desire to critically evaluate our actions.
But in any situation, we must try to maintain self-confidence, internal and external psychological calm, and not allow unnecessary emotions to control our behavior. At the same time, it is hardly possible to completely eliminate the negative impact of criticism on one’s own mental state. Based on this, we should recommend some principles for perceiving criticism, passing which through your own consciousness, you can reduce the severity of the problem under consideration and respond to criticism quite adequately.
Thus, the perception of criticism should be understood as a person’s holistic mental reflection of critical remarks addressed to him. By conducting critical statements through one’s own consciousness in a certain way, according to certain principles of perception, one can thereby neutralize the painfulness of the internal response.
Speaking about the principles of perception of criticism, we will assume that the situation is complicated by ignorance or non-use (unconscious or conscious) by the criticizing side of the ethical rules that were discussed earlier.
The perception of criticism should be aimed at convincing us of the fundamental absence of useless critical comments - any criticism is a form of assistance (even if somewhat specific) in solving problems that arise in the process of professional activity. As already noted, often the criticizing party chooses methods of analyzing our actions that are not entirely appropriate from an ethical point of view. Effective perception of criticism involves abstracting from who is criticizing and in what form. In any case, one should highlight their business essence and rational “grain” in critical remarks.
The central principle of constructive and business-like perception of criticism is the rejection of the obsessive psychological stereotype that forces us to consider everything that we do normal and not in need of improvement. The most valuable criticism should be considered that which is aimed at indicating the imperfection of things that seemed acceptable. You can always do this or that job better - try to accept this point of view from the position of the criticizing party. Take any criticism with gratitude (no matter how difficult and unnatural it may seem), because the person criticizing you spends his time and effort to clarify the situation. At the same time, he expresses his attitude towards your actions openly, and not behind your back. Thus, criticism makes it possible to clarify the attitude of the critic to the other side, to the problem that is the subject of assessment.
This section highlights the basic principles of perception of criticism, which do not pretend to cover all possible ways strengthening the constructive component during a critical analysis of any situation.
The problem of criticism is quite complex and ambiguous. It can be the reason not only for the aggravation of relations within a team, but also as a means of improving certain aspects of professional activity, increasing the performance of employees and their discipline. All this requires knowledge of the rules and acquisition of skills on both sides of the process of critical analysis of production situations. The ethics of business relations implies the manifestation of mutual respect, taking into account the characteristics of people’s psychological reactions to various deviations from the ordinary course of the work process and relationships within its framework.
Review questions for Chapter 9
How should we understand the chronological principle of grouping the rules for preparing for a performance?
What might preliminary training in rhetoric skills include?
What should the structure of the speech be?
What are the appropriate forms of using digital material?
How should you improve your speaking skills?
What does the chronological principle of classifying the stages of preparing and conducting a business conversation imply?
What is the sequence and relationship of actions aimed at preparing and conducting a business conversation?
What is informational preparation for a business conversation?
Reveal the main stages and essence of modeling the course of a business conversation.
What are the main tasks initial stage business conversation?
State your goals and explain the essence of the interview.
What should an interviewer be able to do when conducting an interview?
Name the most common mistakes an interviewer makes during an interview.
What three questions should the interviewer answer as a result of the interview?
Name the types of office meetings and the basic requirements for determining their goals.
What are the ethical standards for choosing the time and place of a meeting? Discover the basic recommendations for equipping a room for office meetings.
What are the rules for choosing the composition and number of participants for a meeting? What are the methods of variable meeting participants and telephone distance to meeting participants?
What are some ways to keep meeting participants engaged?
What is the purpose of negotiations?
Describe the stages and phases of business negotiations.
Reveal the essence of the main approaches to negotiations.
Give the rules for conducting business negotiations.
What are dishonest negotiation techniques?
List the rules that help convince a negotiating partner.
Explain the place and significance of criticism in the process of professional activity.
What is the significance of the rules of criticism?
Where should a conversation containing elements of criticism begin?
Name the ethical standards for showing respect for the personality of the person being criticized.
What is the sequence of practical application of the rules of criticism during the conversation?
What is the significance of the rules for the perception of criticism and what are the forms of their practical use?
Name the basic principles of perception of criticism.
Practice assignments for Chapter 9Task 9.1
TEST “WHAT TYPE OF INTERLOCER ARE YOU”*
* Vesnin V.R. Practical personnel management: A manual for personnel work. pp. 342 - 343.
1) carefully read the proposed situations;
note in it the situations that cause you dissatisfaction, annoyance and irritation when talking with any person (comrade, immediate supervisor, casual interlocutor, etc.);
count the percentage of situations that cause you annoyance and irritation (25 situations - 100%);
draw conclusions;
Think about ways to improve your listening ability.
The interlocutor does not give you a chance to speak. I have something to say, but there is no way to get a word in.
The interlocutor constantly interrupts me during a conversation.
The person I'm talking to never looks me in the face during a conversation, and I'm not sure if he's listening to me.
Conversations with others often feel like a waste of time.
The interlocutor is constantly fussing: pencil and paper occupy him more than my words.
The interlocutor does not smile. I feel uneasy and anxious.
My interlocutor always distracts me with questions and comments.
Whatever I say, the interlocutor always cools my ardor.
The interlocutor always tries to refute me.
The interlocutor distorts the meaning of my words and puts different content into them.
When I ask a question, the other person makes me defensive.
Sometimes the interlocutor asks me again, pretending that he did not hear.
The interlocutor, without listening to the end, interrupts me only to agree.
The interlocutor is focused during a conversation, but is busy with other things: playing with a cigarette, wiping the lenses of his glasses, etc., and I am firmly convinced that he is inattentive.
The interlocutor draws conclusions for me.
The interlocutor is always trying to insert a word into my story.
The interlocutor looks at me very carefully, without blinking.
The interlocutor looks at me, as if appraising me. This is worrying.
When I suggest something new, the other person says that he thinks the same.
The interlocutor overacts, showing that he is interested in the conversation, nodding his head too often, gasping and assenting.
When I talk about serious things, the interlocutor inserts funny stories, jokes, anecdotes.
The interlocutor often looks at his watch during a conversation.
When I enter the office, he drops everything and turns all his attention to me.
The interlocutor behaves as if I am stopping him from doing something important.
The interlocutor demands that everyone agree with him. Any of his statements ends with questions: “Do you think so too?” or “Do you disagree?”
Every day we withstand criticism from numerous people. Behavior, statements, appearance etc. And this assessment is not always pleasant. If meaningful glances stranger can be ignored, the statements of relatives or friends are sometimes perceived very painfully. However, we ourselves also evaluate other people. How to express your opinion correctly so as not to cause negative emotions?
Criticism and its types
Having your own opinion and expressing it out loud is normal. This is what is called criticism. The main thing is how it is presented. Constructive criticism is aimed at being useful, pointing out mistakes and ways to correct them. It is expressed in the form of advice, objective analysis, recommendations. Destructive criticism is also a way to give an assessment, but it does not carry any benefit. This method is used to make a person lose his temper and, under the influence of momentary emotions, abandon his plans.
Principles of constructive criticism
- Objectivity. Express your opinion, but do not claim that it is the only correct one.
- Specificity. Focus on specific points rather than on the entire work.
- Reasoning. Show what your assessment is based on and justify your opinion.
- Experience and practice. Examples from personal life very revealing. Tell us how you avoided mistakes or corrected them.
- Professionalism. If you are well versed in the issue you are criticizing, then people will listen to you. Otherwise, you risk being branded an amateur.
- No personalization. Criticize the work, not the person, show respect for your opponent.
- Focus on the positives. When pointing out the shortcomings of the work, do not forget to talk about its advantages.
How to criticize correctly
When you evaluate another person's actions, it is important that he hears what you have to say. The rules of constructive criticism will help with this:
- Express your opinion when you are one on one with a person. Respect your opponent, do not make his mistakes public.
- Offer options for solving the problem. Help with advice or action, otherwise the meaning of the criticism will be unclear.
- Be calm. The opponent will respond to aggressive statements with aggression.
- Evaluate work in a timely manner. If constructive criticism is expressed later long time, you will be considered a quarrelsome, vindictive person.
- Alternate negative moments with praise. The person will feel valued despite the mistakes they have made. He will try to justify the trust and will not make similar mistakes in the future.
- Criticism is a dialogue. Let your opponent speak. Perhaps he could not influence the situation that led to the mistakes.
- You cannot criticize by referring to others. Be responsible for your words, otherwise you will be accused of spreading gossip.
- When the causes of errors and solutions have been found, leave this issue. There is no need to constantly remind your opponent of his mistakes.
- If your opponent is irritated and unable to adequately perceive your words, put off the conversation for a while.
Areas of application of constructive criticism
Giving an assessment is not as easy as it seems. Sometimes even a very reserved critic can lose his temper and become overly emotional. But there are areas in which destructive criticism is unacceptable under any circumstances.
The first concerns the leader-subordinate relationship. Using constructive criticism, it is necessary to correct the employee’s actions. Otherwise, the person will perform poorly and will have to be fired.
Another sphere is the educator (parent, teacher) - child. Destructive criticism reduces self-esteem little man. If a child is constantly told that he does everything badly, then he grows into a weak, insecure person.
The third area is training. Constructive criticism from the teacher guides the student, helps eliminate mistakes and gain new knowledge. A negative assessment has the opposite effect - the desire to learn disappears, knowledge is not absorbed.
Examples of constructive criticism
How easy it is to express your opinion under the influence of emotions... The result of destructive criticism is resentment and unwillingness to listen. But we can say the same thing in different words. Let's look at a few examples.
- “What were you thinking when you wrote the report? This is no good! Redo everything immediately!”
Nobody likes a rude boss. It’s better to say about the shortcomings in a different way:
- “Ivan Ivanovich, you are a good specialist, but the numbers in the last column of the report are incorrect. Correct them please. I hope you will be more careful next time. Your diligence and responsibility are valuable qualities for our company.”
- “Why did you wear this terrible dress? It has a bad color and hangs on you like a sack.”
After such a phrase, a quarrel with a friend is guaranteed. Better to rephrase:
- “I really liked the dress you wore over the weekend. It emphasizes the figure well, and the color suits the face. And this outfit is too pale for you. Besides, you have a beautiful figure, and this dress hides it.”
- “Ham! You can’t even put together a few words! You’re talking nonsense!”
A dispute in a work environment will escalate into a quarrel if both opponents are unrestrained. Better to say:
- “No need to be rude. I think you should apologize. Next time, don't rush to answer. You are too emotional. First, calm down, consult, then express your opinion.”
How not to respond to criticism
- “I was criticized, which means I won’t succeed.” Low self-esteem is the first step to failure. Even if the result of the work done was not ideal, this is not a reason to become despondent. You must always believe in yourself, and criticism will help improve the situation.
- “They spoke to me too emotionally, which means I’m doing everything badly.” It is not so much the form of presentation of the assessment that is important, but its content. Both constructive and destructive criticism can be expressed too emotionally. It's all about the person who voices his opinion. Here it is important to discard unnecessary emotions and hear useful recommendations.
- “They criticize me. We need to respond urgently." An immediate reaction to an assessment is not always good. If the criticism was destructive, the opponent spoke in a raised tone, then there is a risk that you will be drawn into this emotional state, and the result of communication will be a quarrel. It's better to take a break, calm down and think about your answer.
- “If they criticize me, it means they are finding fault.” See other people's appreciation as a help, not as a way to upset you. Criticized? Not scary. Now you know what not to do and will not make mistakes in the future.
- “I don’t care if they criticize me.” A lack of response to an assessment is just as bad as an immediate response. Think about what lies behind the criticism? Maybe you are in danger and your opponent is warning you about it.
- "I'm upset about the criticism, so I can't do anything." You should not take other people's assessments to heart. Constructive criticism makes it possible to avoid mistakes or correct them. The main thing is to have less emotions when making a decision.
- “They criticize me because they don’t like me/they quarreled/they envy me...” The search for motives can lead to the opposite result. While you are looking for reasons for criticism, time will be lost to correct mistakes. It is more important to understand what they are saying, not why they are doing it.
- “Everyone criticizes me because they don’t understand anything.” If they give the same rating different people, think about it, maybe you are doing something wrong.
- “They don’t tell me anything, which means I’m doing everything right.” Criticism is not always explicit. For example, a subordinate or unfamiliar person cannot speak out openly. However, some actions or words may be hidden criticism. It is important to see it and take action if common sense prevails in the assessment rather than emotions.
Criticize correctly. But if possible, it is better to refrain from speaking out. Criticism can hurt and destroy good relationships.
