Cool statuses about students.

Eh, studying. The most fun time in the life of a still young, green organism, which, as it should be, still knows nothing and lives every day as if it were its last. During their studies, funny and ridiculous stories constantly happen to students, some of which are so exciting that they can not only be described in funny anecdotes, but also made into a film based on the script of the story. Regarding the film, I may have gone a little overboard, however, nevertheless, school time is always remembered only by the jokes that happen almost every day.

If we take the humorous component of studying, you can find many anecdotes, caricatures and funny comics on this topic. Aphorisms about study and students also popular with readers, especially the younger generation. Aphorisms about studying and students can not only make you laugh, but also make you think deeply about the problem mentioned in the joke. They are like cool aphorisms about work, which, in addition to fun, carry a colossal semantic load.

Aphorisms about teachers

A person does not become a student right away. First, he will have to go to school, which also leaves a significant imprint on his later life. Therefore smiling aphorisms about teachers also take place in the humorous field. Funny, and sometimes even completely intoxicating aphorisms about teachers most often capture a certain pearl of teaching staff that is able to jump out at the most unpredictable moment. Aphorisms about teachers are funny, because sometimes a teacher is able to explain sheer nonsense with a serious face, trying to teach something to his students.

At school, the student becomes an adult and independent. It is for this reason aphorisms about school not only funny, but also instructive. Catchphrase“He will go to the blackboard” often caused attacks of fear in all students, even those who had learned the subject the day before.

Do you need aphorisms for schoolchildren? Or is it enough just to have a theme of children's aphorisms, in which you can simply include a topic about school? In my opinion, aphorisms need a separate topic about school. Funny aphorisms about teachers are much more fun than children's aphorisms, since teachers, who also sometimes have an excellent sense of humor, strive to get weird together with the children.

So we found out what we need funny aphorisms about school. They can explain the problems that arise in school in a funny way and give an instructive lesson to the younger generation. A similar mission is assigned to short aphorisms about love, which, in a fun, relaxed form, can reveal and help solve the problems that befall lovers at different stages of a relationship.

An unforgettable “golden” time - studying at a university: funny statuses they will talk about students about which cheat sheet the teacher will not notice and how to celebrate the upcoming holiday. Funny sayings They will talk about how not to oversleep the classes or survive the session. Statuses about students - an amazing section folk art, which is updated daily. Snarky jokes and sparkling sayings immediately become stereotyped. For medical students, finding a suitable status will be easiest: just watch the next episode of a popular series. You can find funny statuses about students for students of other specialties on thematic websites. Change your statuses at least every day, showing your friends and acquaintances your mood and hobbies. Such statuses about students as “I am not for anyone, exams!” or “All notes are urgently needed” is a clear sign that your friend is tightly hooked on studying.


If you sit for forty minutes, staring blankly at a blank page in Word, it means you are writing a thesis.

I'll get up early in the morning and drink a cup of mercury. And I’m going to die in this institute!

The holiday is coming to us, the holiday is coming to us! It brings joy to students who are awake, the fear of expulsion is always real! :)

As long as there are dumplings and mayonnaise in this universe, Russian students invincible.

Previously, when I was at school, I was lazy and did everything on the last day. Now I'm studying at university and have become even lazier - I do everything on the last night...

Pray, teacher, for the day of judgment will come, and may your kingdom perish, and may you be rewarded for our torment... Gospel from a Student, verse five...

1st year student - at least they wouldn’t kick him out! At 2 - now they probably won’t kick you out. At 3 - now they definitely won’t kick you out! For 4 - just let them try! At 5 - yes, I’ll kick out whoever you want!

Tired students are sleeping, books are sleeping. Evil teachers are waiting for the kids with a test. The harmful lecturer goes to bed so that he can dream about us at night. Close your eyes - Za-bi-wai!

A student walks, sways, sighs as he goes. The session ends and I go on a binge...

Student! If your conscience asks you to study, answer it that it’s not the end of the semester yet, and calmly go drink!)

Sitting behind bars in a damp dorm... Raised in captivity... A young student...

This is how you study, study, and then from conflict management you find out that you are a neurotic with suicidal tendencies, experiencing an existential crisis...

I woke up, made the bed, shaved, washed, had breakfast, got ready for school, and then thought: “What the hell am I doing?”, undressed and went to bed. It's good to be a student.

- I'm a student. I work part-time at night, but I can’t sleep during lectures. What should I do? - Count the sheep that go to lectures with you.

Professor: "Are you afraid of my questions?" Student: “No, I’m afraid of my answers.”

At the exam in criminal law. - Can you tell me what deception is? - This will happen, professor, if you fail me. - Explain how. - According to the criminal code, deception is committed by someone who, taking advantage of the ignorance of another person, causes damage to that other person.

A student can instantly calculate only three things: 1. how much money he has left; 2. how much is left until the end of the pair; 3. how many days until the scholarship.

We drink in different doses. We fall asleep in different positions. We remember different moments. This is all called “students”!

The student does not understand at first, but then gets used to it.

Student years are a wonderful time that brings a lot of discoveries, fun and allows you to make new friends. Student - unique person, who may not eat, not sleep, skip classes, and then take it and learn everything in a couple of nights. Although, there are jokes about this too that no matter how much a student studies and how much he prepares for exams, one night is still not enough for him to learn everything.

Student and session are inseparable concepts. But luck often smiles on students and helps them get the right ticket. During their studies, students often complain about how hard life is for them, because they constantly lack a scholarship and twice a year they have to become a superman for a couple of weeks. But as soon as they say goodbye to the university, they realize what it was best time in life. Appreciate your student years, because they will fly by so quickly, and, alas, they will never come back.

We bring to your attention a selection of quotes and aphorisms about students. Put them in your statuses and remember that a student is not a vocation, but a state of mind!

Who was not a student
So you can't understand:
How I want to eat!
How I want to sleep!

A student is a person who always wants to sleep and eat.

“Okay!” said the professor and ruined the student’s diploma.

Better than good, it can only be excellent!

Conscience is wealth, and students, as you know, are poor people.

If students have enough impudence not to go to lectures, then they don’t have the conscience to ask for a test.

Tired students are sleeping, books are sleeping... Evil teachers are waiting for the guys with a test... The harmful lecturer goes to bed so that we can dream at night... Close your eyes, Za-bi-wai...)))

Students perceive couples as a place where they can sleep...)

“What if in a whisper? “- 95% of students thought when they learned about Google voice search!

During a test or exam, students have many brilliant thoughts, but the necessary information never comes to mind...

Students and money are compatible things, but rarely and not for long.

The student population is usually poor...

The student is like a dog... His eyes are smart, but he can’t say anything.

Only dogs are devoted to their owners, but students are not devoted to their studies...)

1st year student - at least they didn’t kick him out! At 2 - now they probably won’t kick you out. At 3 - now they definitely won’t kick you out! At 4 - just let them try! At 5 - yes, I’ll kick out whoever you want!

For the first 2 years the student works in his own name, the rest - the name works for the student!

The student counts everything else for a long time or does not count at all...

We drink in different doses. We fall asleep in different positions. We remember different moments. This is all called “students”!

Students can sleep however they want: on the go, in class, even during an exam they can fall asleep

The student does not understand at first, but then gets used to it.

It’s only sad when such students start teaching or treating people...

About doctors

Studying to become a doctor means learning to be a human being!

The profession of a doctor is one of the most noble!

A good student is a good doctor, a bad student is a Chief Doctor!!!

Losers are always lucky...)))

It is enough to look through a textbook on medicine, for example, a practical course on surgery, to understand whether you are a doctor or not.

If you don’t faint from the illustrations and understand the meaning of at least 2/3 of the words, then you can become a doctor...)

And the diagnosis was incorrect, and the prescription was inaccurate, the evening therapist ended up, the pharmacist was a correspondence pharmacist.

Medical students must study well and then treat people...

In the operating room:
- Doctor, it hurts!
- Quiet! We have an exam!!

If a medical student does not faint during surgery, he has a future...)))

Medical students: “... you cut the meat, put it in a frying pan, fry it, somewhere between the second and third degree of burns you add vegetables to it...”

Medical thinking should be manifested even in everyday life!)))

— Doctor, I just found out that a trainee will operate on me.
- Yes, the operation is tomorrow.
- So he’ll kill you...
- And we’ll give him a bad mark for the exam...)

Experience comes only with practice, you have to learn from someone...)))

It is only the medical students of our group who can interview the patient, and only after leaving the room remember that they forgot to ask the name.

What hurts him, did you at least remember to ask?)))

There is an artery in me that completely characterizes me - the same carotid one.

There is such an artery in every person!

I’m preparing for an exam in pharmacology... I’ve never wanted so much to clean, do laundry, bake pies, basically anything, just not to study...

The student is ready for anything, just not to take exams at the medical faculty...)

A selection of funny quotes

After what the university did to my brain, he should marry it.

Just first pay him back for the knowledge he gave you...)

Peace to the world! To the student - beer!

You won't find a student who doesn't drink beer during the day...

A student who constantly cheats learns from the mistakes of others.

You can’t learn as much from other people’s mistakes as you can from your own.

Students who have failed the exam for the third time ask to remove it from the vocabulary stable expression“Live forever and learn.”

Do they think they won’t have to learn on the job?)

The biggest student lie is the “Literature List.”

In this list, students usually insert everything that is relevant to the topic, not everything they used.

If you want to lose weight, become a student.

No gym helps you lose weight like a session.

A condom in the pocket of excellent student Sidorov recently celebrated its third anniversary.

Studying conscientiously is good, but also personal life Don't forget!

In our country, most people after graduating from a university do not work in their specialization; a diploma, in fact, is a certificate confirming that its owner is not a fool.

This is where the question arises: why do you need a diploma at all?))

Student years are considered the most best years in a person's life. Apart from boring classes, uninteresting lectures and incomprehensible homework, everything at the university was fun. Remember your first student love? What about the first couple in your life? What was the name of your favorite teacher? Our statuses will help you again plunge into this unique atmosphere. At the same time, there will be a reason to write to a former classmate with whom a relationship may not have worked out once. Publish on your page on social network any status about student life and tag all your classmates. There will be a reason for a meeting where you can, by the way, read our statuses and remember fun moments from university life.

The closer the exam is, the louder the students greet the teacher on the street.

The student is like a dog... His eyes are smart, but he can’t say anything.

Anyone who has not been a student will not understand. How I want sex, how I want to sleep. How I want to fuck you, send it to hell. Go home and don’t care about anything.

It’s certainly not news that you sleep during lectures, but coming in in pajamas is too much!

Question from the teacher in class: Where does the graph of a function begin? - Shout from the audience: “Suck it!!!” - Teacher: That's right, off the axis!

Cool status for a student: The less a student gets from lectures, the more he gets from his parents’ wallet.

Stop passing notes! This is an exam! - Excuse me, professor, we are playing preference... - Oh, well, excuse me then...

Students are the part of the population that has the most expensive phones, but never has any money in their account.

An old student tradition: every year my friends and I go to a session. Well, let's steam there...

The depth of the neckline on the dress of a student who came to take an exam is inversely proportional to the depth of her knowledge.

He sits behind bars, in a damp dorm, raised in captivity, a young student.

A student who does not receive a scholarship can be easily recognized by his new foreign car.

Student, don’t throw garbage out the window: children then find it and cheat it.

Students are strange animals... While normal animals have tails made of ass, they have ass made of tails.

When a student looks at his watch, this is still normal... It’s not normal when he puts his watch to his ear...

A session is a sudden interest among students in books, a frantic search for a library card that no one has seen since the last session

Cool status for a student: Finished thesis: "Based on what was downloaded above"...

Student Petrov, having learned the statuses of friends in contact, passed philosophy with excellent marks

I sit at the lecture with my head bowed. I have an erection like a horse

What stage is your report currently at? - At the stage of “for fuck’s sake, there’s still a report!!”

If a student does not want to study, then the military registration and enlistment office is not working well.

Hello mom, I have 19 pairs today, I’ll be there in the morning.

Only a real student can write a 5-page review of a book that he has never even picked up.

The kind janitor is the main reason why girls in the dormitory become pregnant.

Soon a new item will appear in the position of “class leader”..."Dismiss everyone from the agent after eleven, go to bed."..)

That's why you can enlarge your penis, enlarge your breasts, but no matter how hard you try, you can't enlarge your vacation!

IN elementary school: “The teacher knows my name)))” at Uni: “Fuck, he knows my name!”

Our motto is invincible - we do not teach, but we train...