To be successful in your fields of activity modern life, you need to know how to control yourself. In addition, this is important for those who aim to personal growth. There are several reasons, which psychologists also highlight, why you should learn to control yourself.

1. In order to save own health. Stress and depression are the most common reason development of serious diseases. In addition to the emergence and development of various diseases against the background of emotional overload, you may encounter disorders of your own nervous system. Stressful situations cannot be predicted; they are the influence of things beyond our control. outside world, but we are quite capable of controlling ourselves and allowing these situations to influence our internal state.
2. In order to accept quickly and at the same time the right decision in the event of an emergency.
3. In order to make your life better by eliminating from it the harmful influence of negative manifestations of reality.

1. Figure out what's there for a reason negative influence. For such self-analysis, you should keep a diary, where in one column you will list negative emotions and feelings (fear, despair, anger and others), and in the other column - situations that caused sad experiences. By compiling this table every day, you will understand which feelings you need to control more than others.
2. In the same diary, create another column in which you will analyze the situation that happened to you and come up with a model of behavior in it in which all the negative consequences of this situation will be minimized.
3. Start your day on a positive note. You will never learn self-control, even if you know how to control yourself, but are in a bad mood.
4. Don't work too hard at work. Do only your direct duties, but do them impeccably.
5. Make a regular to-do list for every day. Do the most important things before other things. If there are a lot of things to do, try to redistribute them by adding them to more free days.
6. Don't forget to rest. Give yourself time to relax regularly.
7. In one way or another life situation never make hasty, far-reaching conclusions. Understand the reasons for the undesirable state of affairs for you, find out other facts that will help you clarify the situation better.
8. Use the discharge method regularly. Listen to your favorite tunes, go for a run, play your favorite games computer games, buy yourself new things.
9. Don't try to suppress your emotions. On the contrary, voice your condition to yourself and work with it.

How to resolve a controversial situation

The only way to resolve all controversial situations is direct contact with your opponent. Listen to the offender and speak up yourself. If you feel that you are not ready to talk. Write a letter to your opponent clearly stating the essence of your claims. Ask the person responsible for your worries to write you a response letter. Only together can you reach a compromise

It is generally accepted that anger management is the concept of self-control. Nothing of the kind. You need to manage not only anger, but also fear, pity, resentment, hatred, and even joy. Among the many emotions, the most powerful are anger, hatred and fear. Containing them is difficult, but you can learn through trial and error.

Emotional control: general concepts

Every society has its own patterns of behavior. In order not to look like a black sheep, you need to clearly know the answer to the question of how to control your emotions.

To do this, you should follow the general recommendations:

You need to be able to put yourself in the shoes of your interlocutor. Never tell a person something that you would not want to hear in a similar situation. Respect for your opponent is the main aspect when managing emotions.
Before giving in to strong feelings, you need to clearly understand what the consequences await. They can be extremely unpleasant, so control of emotions in this case is necessary.
Everyone must learn to look at themselves from the outside. Sometimes it is difficult, but necessary. Only when we see ourselves do we appreciate how often strong emotions distort our behavior.

Anger management

Anger – negative emotion, which sometimes spoils not only relationships with other people, but also turns the wheel of life in the wrong direction. The rules written above are fully applicable to situations with anger, but there are a few more lifelines that can help you cool down.

Pain. It distracts us under any circumstances. The main thing, of course, is not to overdo it. It is enough to pinch yourself or bite your tongue. The brain will switch to the source of pain, and when it subsides, emotions will not return with such force, because anger is momentary.
Abstraction. Remember little children? When they cry or scream, the easiest way to distract them is to distract them. They immediately forget the cause of their suffering. Although we have matured, we still control our emotions. Remember a pleasant moment from the past, turn on the TV and start watching the program, try to calculate the distance from the Moon to the Sun. Anything can distract you, improvise!
Count to ten, in particularly advanced cases to thirty. Counting serves as a distraction. The only thing is that you should not count out loud, otherwise your interlocutor may not be able to restrain himself.
Breath. To do this, you can use different breathing techniques. Taking three deep breaths in a row through your nose and out through your mouth helps you calm down. If necessary, repeat the exercise.
We control our emotions through exercise. But this method is only good for long-term emotions, most often it is anger, resentment, hatred. Physical fatigue works wonders! Anger and anger during physical activity disappear instantly. For too emotional people Constant exercise in the gym can be the first step towards self-control.

To “let off steam”, try shouting when no one is looking at a doll, a picture, hitting a pillow, a punching bag, or throwing a ball against the wall.

Managing Fear

Fright, panic and fear are quite strong emotions. Forcing yourself to think soberly in stressful situations is difficult, but quite possible.

Before being afraid, you need to determine the cause of fear. This will force the brain to think logically, which will reduce panic and fear. Often the reason is not as scary as it seems at first glance.

Collective panic is more terrible. Because of this, it often happens tragic events– a crush in a passage or in a stadium. At such moments, it is difficult to control yourself when everyone around you is panicking. You need to make a Herculean effort to get your brain to work in the right direction.

How to control your emotions in stressful and stressful situations emergency situations? The first step is to “disconnect from the crowd.” You can't give in to everyone's nervousness. You should immediately take a few deep breaths and look around carefully. Concentrate your gaze on a static object. Next, you need to start thinking sensibly, and leave fear and panic for later. When everything returns to normal, the fear will return, but it will not be as strong and acute.

Fear often borders on instinct. , pain, losing loved ones. But if you don’t keep fear in check, you’re not far from persecution mania and paranoia.

Self-control and how to achieve it

Managing emotions is an important part of being a person. By restraining ourselves, we set an example for other people, gain respect, and avoid acute conflicts. What is important for self-control? Discipline. It helps you control yourself when nothing can save you.

To learn self-control, you need to “tighten up” discipline:

Daily routine. A strict regime is established that cannot be violated. It is worth introducing “carrot and stick”. You need to punish yourself for violating the regime, and reward yourself for compliance, preferably with material things.
Sports activities. Physical exercises and sports discipline and help to “reset” everyday life.
Punctuality. Make it a rule for yourself to constantly reckon with time and not be late for anything.
Perform work assignments diligently. Being busy helps avoid depression and stress, since the brain is constantly busy and there is simply no time for extraneous emotions. But this cannot go on for long - this is an extreme case when emotions do not allow you to “breathe”.
Make it a habit to read books. Not on the subway, but at home in the evening or before bed. The brain needs new information to work, otherwise it begins to “cook” in the same emotions that will require release.
Learn. Observe people, especially those who are reserved by nature. They set a positive example. Visit psychological trainings It won't be superfluous either.

Exclude from your circle people with an unbalanced psyche and especially unrestrained ones. They only get in the way and set a negative example that is not needed.
Take a walk in the fresh air, relax, communicate with people.

People are susceptible to emotions, some more, others less. Life is easier for reserved people, but everyone can learn to control their emotions. One wish is enough. Self-control is essential to everyday life. It helps to avoid quarrels and conflicts, think sensibly in stressful situations, and sometimes saves lives.

To manage your emotions, you should set yourself a certain number of rules that you must strictly follow. It is important to learn to restrain negative emotions, but you shouldn’t “hold it in” for a long time either. Negative feelings must come out, this requires self-control in order to learn how to “release” them correctly.

Hello! I can console you with one thing: you are not alone, but you need to work on yourself, otherwise it may become a fundamental habit. Many parents face this problem - their nerves can’t stand it, an adult loses control over himself and takes it out on a little person. As a result, the child receives a much greater scolding for his offense than he deserved, or suffers for no reason at all. Parents are also not happy with this state of affairs, they feel guilty and powerless, but what to do and how to cope with this, we will now try to figure it out together. Monitor your emotions during acute situations. The very fact of simply observing and recording your condition greatly simplifies the issue of control. By observing yourself, you can find out what exactly and at what moment begins to irritate you, what state precedes it, at what moment logic begins to fail and emotions overwhelm you. How long does the acute condition last before a surge occurs? By being able to monitor these stages, you can manage your condition and take certain tactical steps in a timely manner. Do not neglect such simple remedies as taking natural sedatives and restoratives (valerian, motherwort, beebread) and regular physical exercise. Breakdowns on loved ones, on children, are nothing more than a voltage surge in the electrical wiring of your body; in many ways, this is a purely physical problem, a problem with the stability and energy resource of the nervous system. And this problem needs to be solved from the physical side, from the body. Vitamins, sedatives and restoratives provide the necessary supply of microelements, regular exercise, even 5-minute morning exercises or dousing with cold water, stabilize the state of the nervous system, making it more resistant to changes and sudden stress. Set aside at least 15 minutes a day for yourself. If you have small child or several children of different ages, it may seem difficult, but find an opportunity to devote 15 minutes a day just to yourself and your favorite activity, be it a hobby, a manicure or a bubble bath. 15 minutes may seem like a very small amount of time, but if used correctly, that little bit of time can give you a lot. If the situations in which you break down are typical, follow the same scenario, the ending of which is your outburst of anger, irritation, get ahead of yourself, do not wait for the moment when emotions overwhelm you and you behave impulsively. Instead, take some decisive step before the “boiling point”. If we are talking about a child’s misdemeanor and punishment for it, punish before emotions heat up, then the form of punishment will be much more correct, and the child will perceive it more adequately. If you do this before you “get worked up,” it will be better for everyone It’s better, even if you leave the room rather impolitely in the middle of a game or conversation - it’s better than enduring it, and then inevitably getting worked up and losing your temper. If you feel that a wave of irritation is already rising in you, try one of the following techniques: - change your physical position (sit with the child on the floor, or vice versa, stand up, move to another room); - start to carefully examine your child, how he looks, how he speaks, his facial expressions, the color and expression of his eyes, his movements, focus all your attention on this; - eat something while talking or arguing; - give yourself a time-out - kick yourself out of the room for 2 minutes. If you couldn’t restrain yourself and you somehow lashed out at your child, even if he was initially to blame and the whole quarrel occurred because of his objectively bad behavior, still explain to him about your breakdown when you all calm down. Say that you were unfair and you are sorry. And it doesn’t matter what age your child is, if you say it sincerely, even a month-old fool will understand you. Always ask your child for forgiveness! And also try, as we have already paid attention to above, to devote time to yourself, give yourself gifts, you can go to the shopping center, send your baby to the playroom and do yourself some shopping, a manicure, etc. As for your baby, children aged 1-3 years are often capricious (they don’t want to eat, dress, wash themselves), and can even behave aggressively (throwing toys, biting peers, etc.). This child's behavior may be caused by for various reasons Moreover, at this age, your baby has not yet learned to control his emotions. The task of adults is to distract the child and let him understand that whims and aggressive behavior he won't achieve anything. Teach your child to quiet, calm games - educational and educational. Folding puzzles, cubes, drawing, modeling, playing with water - this is just a short list of what you can offer your child. They develop the child’s perseverance, imagination, and sense of touch. If something doesn’t work out for him and he starts to get nervous, come to his aid and cheer him up. Of course, you shouldn’t exclude outdoor games, but it’s important to choose the right ones that will help your child relieve tension and get rid of aggression. Choose games “Catch the ball”, “Find me”, “Catch me” and similar ones, wherever you interact. After active games you need relaxation. This will teach the child to control his behavior, and therefore his emotional state. You can give your child a bath, give him a light massage, and then put him to bed. At the age of 1-3 years, the brain and nervous system Children develop very quickly. By working with their baby, helping him learn to control his actions and emotions, parents lay the foundation for the future personality of their child. All the best to you and most importantly patience!!

Keep yourself in your hands. Just not. Maintain composure, restrain yourself from displaying feelings (usually excitement, anger, irritation), subordinate them to your will. = To own/master oneself. With noun with value persons: commander, teacher... keeps himself in control.

Please don’t believe anyone who tells you that he wasn’t afraid... Everyone is equally afraid. Only one is completely limp from fear, and the other is holding himself in hand. (A. Kuprin.)

Now I do gymnastics every day, I generally control myself. (A.N. Tolstoy.)

(!) Do not mix with phraseological units , .

Educational phraseological dictionary. - M.: AST. E. A. Bystrova, A. P. Okuneva, N. M. Shansky. 1997 .

See what “control yourself” means in other dictionaries:

control yourself- Cm … Dictionary of synonyms

KEEP YOURSELF IN YOUR HANDS- who control their feelings and emotions. It is implied that who l. has willpower, endurance, showing them in what ways. difficult situations. This means that a person, or less often a group of people (X), does not allow their, often sharply expressed,… …

Keep yourself in control- Razg. Express Hold back; maintain self-control, subordinating your feelings to your will. The spotlights illuminate not only the stage, but also part of the auditorium, and I have to play, seeing the first rows of the stalls. This really bothers me, distracts me, makes me... ...

Keep yourself in control- Razg. Maintain composure, restrain the impulses of your feelings. FSRY, 137; BTS, 252... Big dictionary Russian sayings

control yourself- Contain your feelings, be calm... Dictionary of many expressions

HOLD IN YOUR HANDS- 1) who has whom, what To have in one’s power, in a dependent position, in subordination; control. This means that a person or a group of persons united by occupation (X) has absolute control over the subjects of the board, another person or other... ... Phrasebook Russian language

Only nonsense. More often inf. 1. Behave in a certain way (about the manner of walking, sitting, talking). With noun with value faces: young man, girl... knows how, can... hold himself; keep yourself where? in society, in the team... Pierre answered Anna with sincerity... ... Educational phraseological dictionary

Hold yourself in the reins- Simple. Same as Keeping yourself in control. You are there at the resorts, then keep yourself in the reins, his wife’s confession unexpectedly summed up. You come across such tricksters there, you won’t have time to blink an eye (A. Ilyin. Polonaise for a guest) ... Phraseological Dictionary of the Russian Literary Language

Keep yourself in a handful- Region Same as Keeping yourself in control. Can't do without tricks? he asked Derykrup angrily. What is it? This is what we do... history. History! I wish I could show you the story... Get out of the barracks while I hold myself in my hands. Confused “teacher”... Phraseological Dictionary of the Russian Literary Language

keep yourself- Cm … Dictionary of synonyms

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IN modern world We are surrounded by a lot of different information that affects people in different ways. One calms and pleases him, while the other provokes, angers and unbalances him. There are even people who deliberately create an unbearable atmosphere so that a person gets angry and shows all his worst feelings. worst qualities. In such situations, it is best not to pay attention to anyone and walk away indifferently.

Nowadays the human nervous system is not as resistant to the environment as it used to be. In the morning you can be in a great mood, but in the evening, after talking with people, you can fall into depression. This article contains the most effective tips that will teach you to control yourself and help you calm down.

10 Great Tips to Help You Deal with Your Anger, Anger and Problems

1. Don't try to solve all problems at once. It is best to concentrate your attention on one task, and then move on to the next. You shouldn’t take risks, as you may not accomplish anything at all, and at the same time create new troubles that will lead to stress.
2. It's important to realize that you shouldn't wait. better life, enjoy happy moments now. It’s not worth it or in the future, life will pass you by, and you will later regret the lost happiness.
3. Do not panic or become depressed until the unpleasant situation has been fully analyzed. Only when a person understands all the reasons for what happened, it is necessary to concentrate and take appropriate measures, which must be carefully considered.
4. In the life of every person there are many different unforeseen situations and they must be taken for granted. You shouldn’t fuss, get nervous and get angry, because in some moments we are simply powerless. You can fight for a long time, but the most simple solution is to accept everything that happens.
5. One of the ways to learn to control yourself is to be prepared for the worst-case scenario. Think through the worst case scenario in advance so that you are at least half prepared for it.
6. You should not constantly focus your attention on troubles and their consequences. It is best to do something useful and interesting, perhaps this way you will find a suitable way out of the current situation. After all, when your thoughts are pure, the right decision will come by itself.
7. Do not pay attention to, and especially to those who have not achieved anything in this life. This will help teach you to control yourself and be calm.
8. Don't try to please everyone; it's impossible to be good to everyone. You must have your own goals, plans and desires. Rely only on yourself, and first do your job, and only then help others.
9. To learn to control yourself and not create unnecessary problems for yourself, stop inventing them first. In most cases, if you carefully analyze the current situation, then everything is not as sad as it seems to us at first glance.
10. It is necessary to realize that each person is unique in his own way and there are no others like him in the world. It is important to accept them as they are with all their advantages and disadvantages, this will help save your nerves and peace of mind.

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