when the time comes, and I know that if I put my mind to it, I will make it, but I don’t have the strength to force myself. And so I can skip 2-3 lessons. I know that this is bad for me, I’m ashamed, but I can’t bring myself to pull myself together. There are no problems in the family and I haven’t hidden anything from my parents until now regarding absenteeism. I don’t like to study, but I don’t hate it either. I have friends at school. I really, I have to convince myself to go to school. It’s strange, but after I get ready it’s easier for me to go to class. I used to think that it was because of distractions on the phone, I limited my access, but I still managed to find something to distract myself with and put off getting ready for the deadline, and then again I couldn’t get myself together and get dressed...
How to stop truancy?
Hello Anna! There are people who find it difficult to start something and take the first step, so they need to make this step quick, easy and unnoticeable. To do this, you need to transfer the main school fee to evening and in the morning set the alarm clock so that you only have time to get dressed and go out (breakfast at school). Clothes and a briefcase are prepared in the evening. It is very useful to arrange a meeting with friends every morning and then you will not get ready for school, but to meet with friends, because they will be waiting for you somewhere along the road, and you will come to school together. The results will appear steadily in about a month. If this doesn’t work, then the problem is deeper and it will be useful for you to work as a psychologist on how you generally realize yourself in life. Sincerely, Valeeva GalinaQuestion for a psychologist:
Good afternoon. My name is Yulia, I am 19 years old, I am a 1st year university student. Lately I have been acutely aware that not everything is okay with me and I need help. To understand the whole situation, please read to the end.
It all started at the end of January. After the New Year, I felt that I was full of energy, that I was ready to plunge headlong into my studies, start playing sports (I even bought myself an annual subscription to the fitness center), learn some new hobby, in other words, my life more or less satisfied me , and I didn't experience any problems. Everything changed when the university was closed for quarantine, and everyone was expected to have an unscheduled 2-week vacation, which seemed to me then to be very good news. In reality, everything turned out to be wrong.
These two-plus weeks (the quarantine was extended for a few more days) completely unsettled me. I clearly remember the day when I had to go to university after a vacation: I just sat on my bed in the morning and cried, I realized that I not only didn’t want to go to school, I was AFRAID to go to it. But still, that morning I forced myself to get up and go to the university. Every day couples and just going out became more and more depressing for me and even scary thing, and I can’t say that I just really wanted to sleep or that I was lazy. The matter was different, and I could not fully understand what was happening and why my attitude towards school and life in general had changed so dramatically. Against the backdrop of all this, I began to feel very serious problems with my health, which completely ruined my life. Almost every day I experienced severe pain in my stomach, sometimes I felt sick. Because of the pain, my stomach often rumbled loudly, and therefore being in crowded but quiet places (auditorium, dining room, cinema, theater, etc.) was simply unbearable. Every time I was among a large crowd of people, I began to get terribly nervous; in class, it seemed like I almost fainted. This went on for about a couple of weeks, and by the end of February I started skipping classes.
The days passed unbearably. I was very worried about the whole situation, I cried every day. I could burst into tears at any moment, anywhere. But it’s quite strange that there were rare moments when my mood simply went off scale, I could chatter incessantly, laugh, even dance. Everyone asked why I was so “sausage”, and I myself didn’t understand what was the matter, because just a couple of hours ago I was hysterical. But this did not last long, and after a couple of hours I returned to my usual state. Such “bouts of activity” happened to me about once a week, maybe less often.
Leaving my apartment (and even my room) became a real feat for me). I gave up the university swimming section (which I had simply adored before), fortunately, I had a certificate from the gym (which, by the way, I also didn’t attend - I was terribly afraid). The university hosted a lot of different events, free trainings, courses, there were a lot of interesting films at the cinema, but I didn’t want ANYTHING, I wanted to come home and go to bed. By the way, about what saved me. I found solace and at least some joy in life in 4 things: sleep, music, food... and alcohol. I listened to music always and everywhere, it was hardly possible to see me without headphones: I would put on some track and just forget about everything, imagine wonderful life, in which everything is fine. Thanks to music, my imaginary world replaced reality for me. One day the phone died, and I woke up on some street, completely not remembering its name, and generally not remembering how I ended up here, i.e. I walked, completely forgotten. Things were similar with food: I just went to the store and spent all the money I had on all sorts of delicious things, then came home, locked myself in my room and gorged myself. This caused even more health problems, and gastritis was suspected. My stomach began to hurt and growl even more, which became the reason for even more frequent absences from school. Briefly speaking, vicious circle. Alcohol is a completely separate issue. Since it all started, I became truly cheerful only in moments of alcoholic intoxication: every weekend my friend and I went to a club, where we got drunk to the fullest, met all sorts of men, went to them... When the next week came, more things appeared in my soul a million difficult thoughts about what I’m doing.
I gave up on pairs completely. If in February and March I missed them occasionally, a couple of times a week, one or two lectures, now I can not appear at the university for weeks, even missing seminars. My group has probably already radically changed its attitude towards me, classifying me as a “typical slacker shirker.” But I'm not like that, and I know it. Before this, I simply loved studying. I know that I am a rather purposeful person, that I have abilities, yes, maybe not super-fantastic, but those that helped me get into the budget in prestigious university and even receive an increased scholarship. In the first half of the year, I did not miss a SINGLE lesson, I went to school with pleasure. Despite the fact that I am an introvert in life, I still somehow found common language, communicated. I often met with my friends, went somewhere, now I don’t even really want to have contact with them (except, as I wrote above, to go to a club to get drunk). I began to adore solitude. I used to also like to walk, to go somewhere alone, but recently I caught myself thinking that I want to live alone on the planet.
Because of all this, I ruined my relationships with everyone: with teachers, classmates, friends, and of course, my parents. I tried to talk about my problems with my mom and dad, but they started yelling that I just didn’t want to study. They don’t believe and will never believe that I really feel bad, that I need help. In their opinion, I'm screwing everything up. I used to think so too, but now I’m beginning to be convinced of the opposite.
At the moment, my life has not changed, and has become even worse. Everything I wrote about continues, and I can’t help it. Every morning, with regular screams, my mother wakes me up to study, I get up with a face like a zombie, get ready and just go/drive wherever my eyes look: anywhere, but not to study. Over these months I have probably visited every street in the city and driven on almost every bus route. After the steam time has passed, I head home, having bought another ton of food along the way, come, eat everything and safely go to bed. About nothing homework There’s no question, I’m even scared to open it. Weekends are still spent in entertainment venues, which make me feel briefly happy, but I understand that this is imaginary happiness, a deception.
As for the university, for now I still find the strength (both physical and moral) and the courage to come there at least to important classes and checkpoints, but soon, it seems, I will stop going to them, which is why I will lose my scholarship Or I’ll drop out altogether.
I don't know what to do. I'm very scared. The whole current situation torments me to the core, but I can’t help myself. Every day it gets worse and worse. Lately I started reading about something similar on the Internet, and all the symptoms point to a mental personality disorder. Previously, I didn’t believe that such diseases existed, I was convinced that it was all feigned, exaggerated, but now I understand that everything is not just like that... I told about the whole situation now for the first time, I wrote everything as it is. I just don’t know who to turn to, because I think they won’t understand me. I'm afraid to contact a psychotherapist because I can't even imagine how he can help me. But I don’t want to leave everything idle either... In general, I’m in despair. What to do? How to change your attitude towards life? Should I contact a qualified specialist?
I apologize for such a huge text, but these are all my emotions and feelings, I tried to describe the situation in as much detail as possible. Thanks in advance.
Psychologist Ekaterina Aleksandrovna Sologubova answers the question.
Hello, Yulia! Thanks for reaching out! You are asking whether you need help from a psychologist. Yes, it is definitely necessary, because as I read your letter, I had a lot of questions, the answers to which I would not like to think out for you, and without them a reliable analysis of the situation is impossible.
So, for example, question number one is the choice of this university, which you SUDDENLY did not want to go to anymore, it was initiated by someone - you or your parents (this is important when analyzing your case). After all, we, adults, cannot help but understand that nothing happens for nothing and such a block that has arisen subconsciously for you (and even in such a short period of time) has a clear basis. Perhaps, if choosing a university was the initiative of your parents, and you wanted something completely different for yourself, this isolation may be a certain form of protest. And, if this is really the case, then it might make sense to think about changing universities, taking an academic leave, looking for a job, etc.
Question number two - how were your relationships with your classmates before the New Year? Was there something about them that made you hide in your own world, not see or hear anyone around you?
Question number three: when did you first feel that you were afraid to go to college? Mentally, no matter how difficult it may be, go back to that day and think - what exactly scared you then - meeting with the guys, with the teachers, or even the very fact of leaving the house (a trip to the subway, public transport)? What exactly? After all, there were no problems with this before...
And there are a lot of questions: is there anyone among your circle who supports you, to whom you can come with your tears, experiences, to whom you can open up and trust? If there is such a person, then this is very cool, he is your resource.
Besides food, sleep and alcohol abuse, do you have any other rewarding activities? positive emotions class? For example, when you wander around the city, are there places that you want to return to, that are pleasant to visit? They can also be a resource for you, you can relax in them, get a boost of energy that you are so lacking.
The position of your parents also raises a question - is it generally accepted in your family to discuss each other’s feelings and experiences? I understood that they send you and the institute every day... And if you try to talk, for example, alone with your mother from the “I-position”, i.e. explaining to her what you are going through and feeling, without hysterics and mutual accusations.
Try to answer all these questions, say the answers out loud - and perhaps this will help clarify something for you. But, I repeat once again, of course it is better to do this not alone, but accompanied by an experienced psychologist.
In addition to contacting a psychologist, I think it would not be amiss to conduct an examination, for example, with a gastroenterologist. You can do an ultrasound of the thyroid gland - sudden mood swings may be associated with a lack of iodine in the body. In order to receive these and other recommendations, you must first contact a therapist.
It’s probably trite in such a situation to say that you, Yulia, whole life ahead and hiding from her into a shell is not an option, because we are all social beings and deep understanding, self-knowledge is possible only through communication with other such different and interesting people...
As for the accusations that you address to yourself, this is a road to nowhere. Try not to do those things for which you reproach yourself so much - do not go against your understanding of what is right for you and what has a place in your life.
I really want to support you and the fact that you wrote this letter indicates that you are already on the path of positive changes in your life. Just don’t stop... You talked about your readiness, in the past, to go in for sports, learn a new hobby - and maybe now return to this? Perhaps it makes sense to start swimming again, you can find a pool near your home (not necessarily at the university), etc.
Julia, I wish you a speedy completion of this difficult period in your life. Sincerely, psychologist Ekaterina Sologubova.
4.4285714285714 Rating 4.43 (7 Votes)
Hello reader! I decided to write my next article specifically for teachers, so that they understand why students don’t go to classes? Indeed, such a problem exists among both contract workers and state employees, and some lecture halls are completely empty.
Let’s try to figure it out together about what causes such omissions and how the teacher reacts to them. The most important thing that is important to understand is the student’s motivation, otherwise it will hardly be possible to instill in him a sense of diligence, punctuality and responsibility. So let's reason together.
Reasons for student absenteeism
Many teachers do not want to know why a student misses a class, and if he fails to show up, they not only begin to be loudly indignant in the presence of the entire group or class, but also threaten. As a rule, these are menacing promises of not passing the upcoming session, so you won’t hear anything original at such moments.
However, this is an incorrect and non-pedagogical approach to the problem, since the clarification of relationships should proceed on a purely individual basis, and before shouting, you should understand the reasons, which, by the way, can be valid or disrespectful.
1. Family circumstances. Sometimes things arise in a student’s life that can only be resolved during educational process. Such “unexpected circumstances” can affect all areas of life and require immediate response.
Of course, in such stalemate moments, it is best to find a teacher and ask for time off, but it often happens that every minute counts.
2. Problems on the personal front. Sometimes students skip classes due to mental trauma, for example, after a breakup with a lover. At such moments, you don’t even want to study, you don’t want to eat or breathe.
Even the most diligent and responsible student can deliberately neglect his studies and spend meaningless days in mental anguish. Here, little depends on the teacher, but the help of friends and fellow students will certainly be useful and needed.
3. Part time job. Some senior students manage to earn extra money during their studies. Such an increase in the scholarship, of course, will not hurt, but it can significantly spoil relations with principled teachers who do not agree with the systematic absence of students from their classes, especially lectures.
It is best to compromise here, otherwise there may not be a scholarship next semester.
4. Personal irresponsibility. In this case we're talking about about student slackness and systematic absenteeism without a good reason. Teachers do not like malicious troublemakers in their classes, so in this case, without attending the university, you can not only “fly” with a scholarship, but also easily find yourself on the verge of expulsion from the university.
So here it’s not all about the teacher, but about the student, who must understand why he entered the university - to study or to hang out. The last motivation is a failure.
5. Antipathy towards the teacher. There are also students who, for one reason or another, do not perceive the teacher, and answers in class turn into bickering and conflicts.
This situation is unpleasant for neither the student nor the teacher, so the former prefers to ignore the pairs. He can do this out of malicious motives, in order to create trouble for the teacher at the department, but such cases in pedagogical practice are rather isolated.
Perhaps these are the most common reasons that prevent normal studies and regular attendance at the university. It is advisable to eliminate them, otherwise the student’s performance will be noticeably reduced, and promising and bright plans for life will be distant.
What should a student do?
If a student skips classes, then the first thing he should understand is that such an attitude towards studies will not end in anything good. He must adjust himself and perceive his unloved teacher according to the principle: “Everything will pass, this too will pass”!
You just need to be patient, try to understand the essence of the subject and, if possible, please your unloved teacher. And how he will do this, intuition will tell you. It is pointless to give any advice in this matter, since all teachers are different and each requires a different approach.
In cases where work interferes with normal study, it is best to talk with the teacher about free attendance. It will be difficult to convince him, but in principle it is possible (I know from my own experience); and most importantly, then, with your knowledge, grades and overall performance, make it clear that the work did not in any way affect your interest in studying and a specific subject.
Here I’ll tell you my example: in order to achieve free attendance in the 5th year, I begged individual teachers almost every week. They made concessions to me incredulously, but demanded the presence of a complete note.
It was a hard time, and rewriting the “doodles of fellow students” only resulted in sleepless nights. But there were never any complaints, and my academic performance and scholarship did not suffer in any way.
In cases where absenteeism is caused by a love drama, it is very difficult to pull yourself together and get ready to study. Yes, and breaking out of depression and painful memories on your own will not be easy.
However, friends and sports should come to the rescue here, helping to switch thoughts and set the sufferer up for further study. On my own behalf I can add: no relationship is worth higher education, so don’t give up a promising future for an imperfect and doomed relationship.
If family circumstances arise, you must notify the teacher about your absenteeism so that he can important information I did not find out from third parties. During a personal conversation, you can explain everything and, as it were, ask for time off, rather than confronting the teacher with the fact of your absence from his subject. It is also advisable to remind about diseases, otherwise you can mistakenly give the impression of a slacker truant who ignores knowledge.
What should a teacher do?
Since I dedicate this article more to teachers, it is precisely their behavior that I would like to talk in more detail about. Students are different, but a teacher is not just a teacher and mentor, but, above all, subtle psychologist.
That is why the issue of absenteeism must be treated with particular caution, so that later you do not get a bad reputation or some kind of malicious nickname among students.
So, your student doesn't show up for class? The first thing you should do is write down his last name and go to the dean’s office to find out if he is sick or if he has any extenuating family circumstances.
If the reasons for absence from classes are really compelling, then it is best to temporarily postpone a serious conversation. But if teachers report that the truant attends other lectures, it’s time to think about it.
Of course, you shouldn’t put yourself in his position, since all students know why they decided to study at the university. But again, the circumstances are different, but first it is recommended to convey to him “fervent greetings” through the headman. After this, you can wait for a period of time - 2 - 3 pairs, and, if the situation does not change, take more radical actions.
You can meet and stop him at recess, but it is also recommended to visit the couple where he is clearly present. In this case, you cannot do without a serious conversation and warning, but still try to understand the arguments. If the reasons are disrespectful, and in front of you is the most ordinary loafer, then threatening problems at the session will not hurt.
When such beliefs again remain useless, make one last attempt, which may make him think. If not, then you don’t have to worry about his fate anymore, but ask him to the fullest during the exam.
No, of course, I cannot teach and give recommendations to honored and qualified specialists, but I am simply sure that the method of shouting and intimidation does not work from the very beginning. No matter what, students are people too, with their own reasons and circumstances, which can sometimes be understood by an adult, even a teacher.
On the other hand, the teacher should not run after students and persuade them to attend classes, but from a purely human point of view, it would not be superfluous to inquire about their progress.
How to officially skip couples?
To avoid problems later with teachers for systematic absenteeism in their classes, you can officially register for free attendance or transfer to correspondence form training.
The first option is ideal, since the student does not lose a scholarship, maintains the duration of his studies and skillfully combines two useful things at the same time. The second option is more radical, because distance learning lasts a year longer (5.5 or 6 years), is carried out exclusively on a contract basis and has a number of its own nuances. So it's best to use the first option.
If absenteeism is justified, involves a certain period of time, and does not require systematicity, then you can write an official document in the dean’s office and have it signed by the dean. But in this case, be sure to promise that all the “tails” will be pulled up in a timely manner, and that no problems will arise during the session.
Conclusion: From now on, neither students nor their teachers should have questions about why students don’t go to classes.
I hope that all the suggested tips on the site will be informative and useful, and the attitude of the student who is a slacker to his studies will change as well as the attitude of teachers towards some of their careless students.
Now you know why don't students go to classes?.
Best regards, site team website
P.S. Or maybe students are doing the right thing by not going to some classes? Watch a video of one of the typical days of an American student:).
Maria Soboleva
How to skip work without unpleasant consequences?
How to skip work - well, admit it, this question arises at least sometimes even for the most disciplined employee. We understand that this is not good, but we are not robots and we can afford to not show up to the workplace just once. You just have to come up with a valid and convincing reason.
How to skip work and not get fired
If you are lucky and have loyal management, then almost any excuse will do as an explanation for the reasons for missing a day of work.
In general, for absenteeism under strict management, any employee may well face dismissal. At best, a reprimand or fine. This means you will have to think in advance about how to skip work without consequences.
Absence from work — the most valid reasons
You can ask your boss in advance for an additional day of rest, or time off, for working overtime or on weekends. It won’t be paid, but it’s relatively legal to skip the boat – it’s quite possible. You must notify your intention to take time off in writing.
Another option for not showing up to work for a valid reason is to donate blood. Do a good deed in the morning and the whole day is at your disposal. Of course, this is not suitable for everyone. Not everyone can become a donor due to health reasons, and many of us are afraid of the procedure.
If you still decide on this option, fill out a certificate at the donor point and an official explanation of your reluctance to work today will be provided.
An alibi will be provided by a certificate stating that you visited a doctor, an entry in the outpatient card. You might feel bad and decide to urgently visit a doctor. But about your intention to apply for medical care You should notify your superiors on the day of absence from work.
A certificate of illness of a child or relative who needs your help - escort to the hospital, care, supervision - will also save you from trouble.
How else to skip work and not be fired: in case of an urgent call for a repair team to eliminate an emergency situation - problems with gas supply, a burst pipe, a clogged sewer.
But the installation of plastic windows or the installation of entrance doors, which forced you to skip work, will clearly anger the strict manager. Can you convince talk to your boss- you're lucky.
If you have the opportunity to obtain fake certificates, do not expect that you will get away with it. The number may work once or twice, but when you abuse it, management can check the authenticity of the documents.
Reason for no-show - what to say
Truancy, of course, is not good. But since this happens to almost everyone, let’s look at the most popular reasons for not showing up for work.
Most often, employees refer to poor health, and then there is a chance to take a day or two off from work.
For example, you caught a cold, and in order not to infect your team, you decided to get treatment at home. Look for the cause of a cold depending on the season - in winter - infection (infected from Yulia from the accounting department, picked up on a crowded trolleybus), in summer - air conditioning or draft.
Or a terrible migraine has broken out, which in no way will give you the opportunity to work fully. Or you have a toothache - you will urgently need to visit the dentist.
The version of your food poisoning sounds convincing; this could easily happen to anyone. We ate something like this at a party or in a cafe - and this is the result. Just sit at home for a day.
You need to call with a complaint about your poor health early in the morning - it’s more convincing, your voice will sound more like a patient when you’re asleep. In addition, you are very worried about your absence and warn about it in advance.
You can simulate a cold by sniffing water through your nose, which will create the illusion of a runny nose. When you return to work, continue to feign weakness and take some pills. Play the role until the end.
I missed work - what to do?
What to do if you missed work - write an explanatory note, and even before you are asked to present it. Describe more convincingly the reasons and circumstances of your absenteeism; it is better if the note is supported by some papers (certificates, telegrams, letters).
For example, a telegram about the urgent arrival of relatives, you must meet and accommodate them.
Those who work with clients can come up with a meeting with one of the respectable people as an excuse for their absenteeism: they played bowling (billiards, squash) and discussed the details of the future contract.
Sometimes a trivial fiction that your husband (child, mother) took both sets of keys and you couldn’t lock the apartment helps you get away with it.
Women have a completely natural reason for missing work - critical days.
Lack of transport, accident, natural disaster - that’s quite good reasons failure to show up at your place labor activity. To don't be late for work as a result of such force majeure, you decided not to come at all and work this day fully at another time.
Each person may have a personal need to miss a day of work, but it is always better to negotiate with management and work out your hours later. Then there will be no need to rack your brains about how to skip work. A short break will help you work with more enthusiasm later.
Take it for yourself and tell your friends!
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