How to develop charm in yourself. Charm - what is it and how to develop it

Charismatic people don't think about how to become charismatic and charming: they just have it by nature. The rest just need to learn, because it is no less possible to develop charm than any other character trait. Moreover, not only presidential candidates and movie stars need this, but also ordinary people on earth: charisma opens any doors - a dream job, popularity, many friends, the man or woman of your dreams.

Where to start

You probably have charismatic and charming friends or relatives. Perhaps by observing them you can unravel their secret.

Think about what traits can become your strength that attracts people: you are probably either interesting in communication, talented or smart, or maybe you are exceptionally kind or a magnet for attracting the opposite sex. Believe that you are exceptional and don't focus on the shortcomings and weaknesses that only you notice.

A man with his own convictions and living own life, without being a pale copy of someone, is always interesting and always remembered because it is real. The most important thing is to be yourself and understand that you are exactly as you are. Pay attention to which of your shortcomings can be corrected. Develop your intelligence by reading more interesting books and communicating with interesting people.

Appearance and image

It happens that a person is poorly dressed, looks unimportant, but attracts people to him. And yet, a well-groomed appearance and a neat appearance gives additional confidence: after all, this is the first impression.

  • It is not at all necessary to look for expensive things in boutiques, but it is quite possible to wear clothes that suit you and emphasize the advantages of your figure, and are also comfortable: if you are simply uncomfortable in very tight jeans or super fashionable shoes, this constrains you and is noticeable to everyone;
  • Body language will do the rest. Your gait will tell a lot about your self-confidence and self-esteem: a decisive and confident step will tell only the best about you. This is how you should enter an unfamiliar group, with your gestures free and your arms not crossed over your chest. You are ready to take advantage of new opportunities and talk about it with your body;
  • A little trick: in order to be noticeable, you should learn to increase the size of your body mentally - if in your imagination you have grown to the size of a five-story building, you are more likely to be remembered and paid attention to you, and if you have “shown” to the size of a cherry , then you have a greater chance of slipping unnoticed;
  • Posture – essential element image of a charismatic person. Practice walking with a book or even a tray on your head, sign up for dance lessons (for example, flamenco) and watch her all the time;
  • Sign language. Try to look everyone you interact with in the eyes. If you are performing, you can look at the audience in the last row. Work on expressive gestures in front of the mirror. If you are in contact with one person, “mirror” his posture and tempo, speed of speech, adapt to his speech style. The same applies to behavior in a large team. Try to catch his general mood and general tempo, carefully copy it. Of course, crossing your arms and legs is prohibited, as is fidgeting or holding your hands on your face or hair. Watch body language famous people and look for good and bad examples of their use for yourself.

Communication

No matter how trite, but the main secret of charm is interest in the people with whom you are dealing. Try to see something interesting and unique in everyone: what makes them a person. Share their interests and admire them sincerely. But what you shouldn’t do is ask too intimate questions and show excessive curiosity. And yet, interest and admiration should be read in your eyes. At work, in transport and in shops, try to look at people (but not too closely and find something beautiful in everyone. If something catches your eye too much, you can safely give a compliment to a stranger: beautiful and unusual accessory, beautiful eye color, interesting voice, interesting turn of phrase...

Remember the names of everyone you meet. There is no need to tell you why this is important, just remember that Alexander the Great knew all the soldiers in his army by name.

Don't be afraid to show your all emotions and be spontaneous. No, of course, there is no point in shouting at the top of your voice, but openness is one of the secrets of charm. Honest man always attracts attention and captivates.

Smile. But not fake, but real. Feel free to joke and try to adapt to the style of jokes that prevails in each specific team. If you know how to find something funny in any situation, share your findings with others. And who knows, maybe a sense of humor will become the secret of your charm and charisma.

Listen carefully to everything your interlocutors say, try to find something interesting in their conversation. Agree or disagree, the main thing is to be interested in the conversation. Interest in people makes us much more charismatic.

Learn to be a diverse person. The more you carry within yourself, the more charisma you have, the more interesting you are. Go to a variety of events, learn new things and read a wide variety of literature.

Other secrets

  • If you wish, enroll in a theater studio or acting classes. The teachers there know how to develop charm not only in actors, but also in ordinary people;
  • Have you ever seen how people light up when they talk about something they really love? Indeed, if you are passionate about your business, you become bright and charismatic.
  • Charm is, first of all, your originality and self-confidence. Believe in yourself and love yourself, because this is how you will learn to love those around you, attracting them and captivating them.

If we want to please a person or make a good impression on people, we use charm.

And vice versa, we use this quality when we meet a new person, evaluate whether we like him or not, whether we should get involved with him, if we understand that this is not our person.

In this situation, charm is not the last place, because it can be different - positive or negative, there is the charm of youth, beauty, modesty.

Some people use this quality, captivating and enchanting, all the time, easily make new acquaintances and communicate with people, use it in their work, while others believe that they do not have this quality.

The only question is where to draw this attractive force from, what charm to use, which Mother Nature has bestowed, i.e. personal or you can learn to fully positively influence people.

How to develop charm? Charm cannot be worn as a mask, but charm can be learned; such an acquired quality is very relevant in our world today. Of course, you can attend endless trainings, classes, waste time, but it is better to engage in self-improvement, reconsider your qualities, the level of their development and use.

The result will not take long to wait; very soon you will be able to take advantage of your charm and ability to please people.

Your self-esteem will increase, you will learn to respect yourself, your actions and actions, you will not regret the wrong phrases, and your confidence will increase.

If you want to be more attractive to society, work on yourself. Pay attention to how you speak, move, how you gesture during a conversation, what is the intonation of your voice.

It is important here that you understand what your interlocutor is talking about and that a situation of misunderstanding does not arise during the conversation; if something is not clear, you can always ask correctly.

If you are talking while sitting, then lean slightly towards the interlocutor, or sit up straight, you don’t need to put your hands crosswise and, especially, look at objects, looking at something, so the person will understand that you are not interested in him.

Don’t wave your hands, don’t rub your ears, cheeks, nose with them, don’t adjust your hair, jewelry, collar, this is the first sign of your insecurity.

Hands should be at waist level. Eliminate from your facial expressions the habit of squinting your eyes, constantly raising your eyebrows, and frowning. When we look at a person, we automatically pay attention, first of all, to the face and facial expressions. And then, on an intuitive level, sympathy or rejection of a person arises.

In addition to charm itself, you need to develop several more qualities in yourself in order to win over a person for communication.

For example, reconsider your attitude towards people, today in our world it is difficult to respond with good to evil, but still try to cultivate sincerity and goodwill in yourself. They are the ones who will always help you find general topics to talk to anyone.

How to develop charm? Listen to your interlocutor, be tactful, do not interrupt if you want to express your opinion, because then he will listen to you. Be neat and tidy in your clothing.

A sense of humor is another quality necessary for charming people, and this does not mean that you should tell stories funny stories right and left, it will be enough to have a few anecdotes told for the occasion and your smile, sincere and open.

Not everyone has charm. But the simplest thing is to smile and be yourself and everything will work out for you.

There are 3 main groups of qualities that can help you increase your level of personal charm.

The first group includes such natural qualities as sociability (the ability to easily get along with people), empathy (the ability to empathize), reflection (the ability to understand another person), and eloquence (the ability to influence with words). These qualities form the basis of natural talents, designated by the generalized concept of “the ability to please people.”

The second group includes personality characteristics that are a consequence of education and upbringing. These include moral values, mental health, mastery of communication techniques: interpersonal communication, business speech, anticipating and overcoming conflict situations.

The third group should include what is associated with a person’s life and professional experience. It is especially valuable when this experience helps sharpen intuition. This makes a huge difference. Self-confidence and standard behavior negatively affect the perception of a person who is interested in recognition and a friendly attitude towards himself.

How to increase personal charm? What do you need to change in yourself, in your behavior for this? Use the following guidelines.

1. Behave naturally. In an effort to make a good impression as quickly as possible, a person can forget about the first commandment of communication - to be yourself. We usually make the most favorable impression when we behave naturally.

2. Be a good listener. Remember that people are more interested in their own ideas, experience than the lives of others. To be a good conversationalist means, first of all, to be able to listen, assimilating the thoughts and reactions of your partner. If during the conversation you really want to interrupt your interlocutor, take a deep breath and exhale slowly; repeat these exercises several times. By developing this habit, you will learn to listen patiently to the speaker without interrupting him.

3. Show your best self. In consciousness, a person is not united; there are, as it were, several “I”s, which sometimes coexist peacefully, and sometimes come into conflict. Try to demonstrate to people those qualities that are inherent in your best self. This will help you cope with your shortcomings - both external and internal.

4. Show your interest in others - this is one the best ways make a good impression. Be attentive to your interlocutor. Get into a position where you can communicate with him face to face. Don't avoid looking him straight in the eye.

5. Try to understand and support people. Let people meet in you what they need most: complicity, understanding, support. Often put yourself in the other person’s shoes, try to imagine how he must feel in this situation. This understanding will be facilitated by the exercise “imitation of a pose.” Unnoticed by others, do a little training every day: take the pose of another person, copy his facial expressions - imagine how he might feel in this pose, with such a facial expression. Test yourself at the TV, watching this or that program without sound (turn on the sound periodically and compare your ideas with what is happening). After a series of such trainings, you will better understand others, without imitating their posture and facial expressions. And once you learn to understand others, you will become irresistible.

6. Support people in their best endeavors. Never discourage others from taking reasonable initiative and wanting to do something useful. There is no need to say: “You are mistaken,” “You are wrong,” “Your idea has no prospects.” If something that is not deliberately absurd is proposed, it is better to say: “What an interesting idea you proposed!” After this, during the discussion of what was proposed, you and your interlocutor may come to an opinion directly opposite to the one he expressed. But you don't have to reject the offer right away.

7. Emphasize the commonality with your interlocutor. As you know, we are attracted to others by unity of views, common interests, similar destinies.

8. Don't hold a grudge. Never be angry with your offender (enemy) for a single minute more than is really necessary. You should not fantasize about ways of revenge: while you are depleting your nervous system While being angry at someone, that person may be having a good time and enjoying himself. Think about this and your anger will decrease.

9. Express sincere approval. With few exceptions, people like approval for their ideas and actions, so sincere praise contributes to a good impression. Approval or compliment flows naturally from our desire to find common ground. Don’t miss the opportunity to say something nice to a person - there aren’t many positive emotions in life!

It is necessary, however, to remember two conditions. First: praise must certainly be sincere, otherwise it will become flattery, which, as a rule, makes a negative impression. The second condition: the compliment should not pursue an obvious specific purpose. Otherwise, your praise will quite naturally be considered false, and the reaction to it will be appropriate.

Don't skimp on compliments. Let others feel your sincerity, notice everything good (from clothes, hairstyles to interesting ideas, thoughts) and do not hesitate to express it to people. At the same time, talk about what you really feel.

10. Don't complain, don't whine; but don’t say that everything is fine. Constantly complaining about life, circumstances, failures is not beneficial: you will be perceived as a loser. It’s better to joke a little about your problems.

But avoid even more statements that everything is fine with you - you will make a lot of enemies: for some people, the successes of others are even more unpleasant than constant complaints. No wonder Buddha said: “Victory is the cause of hatred, and the winner is unhappy.”

11. Don't agree with other people's self-criticism. If someone says they feel stupid, don't agree: "you're right, as always." It’s better to say: “It was difficult to do anything in such a situation,” “You already did your best,” etc.

12 Don't ignore a disagreement. Don't pretend nothing is happening. Try to understand the cause of the conflict, discuss and eliminate it. It is very important to develop the ability to compromise.

13. Know how to admit a mistake. Don't be afraid to lose the respect of others by admitting your mistake. On the contrary, it is very advantageous. Not many people are capable of such recognition. This is a surefire way to gain respect.

14. Be kind to those who occupy a more humble position in life.

It is prudent to be friendly and polite to everyone (fellow travelers in crowded spaces public transport, salesperson, cleaner, subordinate); Why spoil your mood if it can be avoided?

15. Speak in the first person. First person messages are much more effective. They allow you to honestly state how you feel about a given issue in a way that makes people want to listen or even listen to you. Phrases like these are especially recommended when you want to express a negative emotional assessment of a behavior that bothers you. Such “I am messages” imply the possibility of error in your assessment of the statements and actions of the interlocutor, which allows him (by the way, you too) to “save face.”

If you present the content of the “YOU - statement”, expressing what you want from another person, in a more neutral form, using the “I - appeal” form to soften the demand, then this. will likely help establish positive, productive contact. The other person will then be more willing to listen and respond without feeling confrontational or experiencing negative emotions.

An example of how seemingly accusatory "YOU statements" can be turned into softer and more effective "I statements."

Accusing:
Expressing feelings, interests and focusing on results:

"If something needs to be done, YOU don't call me until the last minute."
“When you call at the last minute and ask to make plans, I am not always available to work with you, although I am willing to do everything I can. Sometimes I am upset that you have not called me for so long. I would be very grateful to you.” I would appreciate it if you would warn me a little earlier in the future."

"Why do YOU ​​always interrupt me?"
“When you try to tell me something, when I speak, then I cannot pay attention to what you are telling me, since I am focused on my thoughts and words. I would be very grateful to you if you would be patient while I I won’t finish, of course, except in those cases when you consider your words so important that you need to say them right away.”

"YOU don't respect me, YOU never remember my birthday."
"When you don't remember my birthday, it seems to me that you don't care about Me. I'd like to think that you don't."

"YOU bother me with your questions."
"If you ask me something when I am busy with something else. I feel irritated because I am not ready to give you attention. I would appreciate it if you would ask me all your questions at a more appropriate time, e.g. .. (you indicate the time)".

"YOU never do what I want; YOU always do as you please."
"When you make decisions for both of us without asking my opinion, I feel offended, and it seems to ME that you are not interested in my point of view. I would like us to discuss these issues together so that the wishes of both are taken into account."

According to the basic model of these more complex "I" statements, the phrase begins with a neutral, accusatory description of another person's behavior that does not satisfy you. This is followed by a description of your rational and emotional reactions to the behavior. Explain afterwards why the behavior is problematic for you, or simply indicate how it affects you. Finally, in very polite, non-aggressive terms, describe what you would like. When doing this, use phrases such as “I would like,” “I would appreciate it,” or “I would prefer.”

The “I - appeals” model, broken down into elements, looks like this:

"When you (non-accusatory description of another person's behavior), I feel (your feelings or emotions about that behavior) because (why the behavior is a problem for you or how it affects you) and I would like, I would be grateful, I would prefer (description of your desire)."

How to develop femininity and charm

Each of us wants not only to be a woman - only because we have the corresponding signs of gender - but also to be a real representative of the beautiful half of the human race, to whom the eyes of all the men around us would be drawn. I want it, I want it, but here’s how to develop femininity, which is a necessary condition female attractiveness, we do not always know.

Femininity has many different definitions. Each woman can have her own way of being attractive and charming, and each of these ways has the same power of influence on others. You don't have to be a doll with curls, dressed in all pink, to appear feminine. You can be a tomboy in life, or a woman who has forgotten about herself, giving all her attention and care to other people, and at the same time not lose her attractiveness.

However, in a society where the means mass media promote a particular type of femininity, many of us have to make some effort to achieve this ideal. So what is it worth striving for?

Femininity and appearance

What to hide - of course, a woman’s appearance is the first criterion that others evaluate. Here's what you can do to learn how to express your femininity through appearance:

  • Spend time with your friends as often as possible

When communicating with different women, you can notice different “versions” of female attractiveness. Observing different models of femininity will help you find new facets for your own image, and you will become much more comfortable expressing and emphasizing your belonging to the fair half of humanity.

  • Spend enough time learning about yourself

Yes, yes, don't be surprised! Each of us has special traits and qualities that make us uniquely attractive; but in the bustle of everyday life, we drive our Beautiful Stranger into the farthest and most hidden corner of the soul. Find time to do what you really enjoy doing, hone your talent or hobbies that have previously been unused due to lack of time. Learn to pamper and love yourself and it will help you feel more comfortable in life. own body. And in the end, it will be much easier for you to express your femininity.

  • Start working on your appearance by going to the hairdresser

Dye your hair or get a trendy haircut. This change in appearance will change your self-perception and break old patterns of behavior. Seeing the reflection of your updated appearance in the mirror, you will feel a surge of self-attractiveness, and this will help you become more feminine.

  • Experiment with makeup

Just don’t overdo it with the brightness of the colors - as close as possible to natural look makeup is the most delicate and feminine. To make some changes, try different shades and gloss levels of lipstick. It would be very good to use the services of a professional makeup artist at least once - so you could see how you can highlight the best features of your appearance. And one more piece of advice: try to purchase only high-quality cosmetics that apply well and do not harm your skin.

  • Find time for quality and professional self-care

Keep your eyebrows neat and don't let them grow overgrown. Remove hair on your face and legs if you have any. Don't allow yourself to walk around with stale or unkempt hair. Always get your manicure done on time and don't neglect your pedicure.

  • If you want to look more feminine, you can't help but reconsider your wardrobe.

Replace sneakers that are so comfortable and dear to your heart with fashionable elegant shoes. And replace baggy T-shirts, which are more suitable for men, with light or pastel-colored blouses. Wear clothes that flatter and flatter your figure. If you emphasize your purely feminine curves and roundness, and not hide them under inexpressive unisex clothing, then you will give your femininity the opportunity to develop very actively.

  • Be sure to add a detail to your look such as accessories - earrings, bracelets, necklaces, handbags, keychains...

Even when you're just wearing jeans and a T-shirt! Just, of course, observe moderation and maintain the chosen style.

  • Be sure to take care of your body's health by eating well and exercising regularly.

Having a body that you can feel comfortable with will help you stop hiding your femininity.

  • Watch your posture

Keep your back straight, do not let your chin rest on your chest, and make sure that your gait is graceful and light. I would like to talk about gait in a little more detail. You, of course, remember Verochka the secretary from the film “Office Romance”. She very accurately described the importance of a graceful gait for female attractiveness. Owning your body is very important great value; and even if you put on a very beautiful dress and did your hair and makeup just to the highest standard, this will not help you much if you walk like Lyudmila Prokofyevna: “all shriveled up like an old torn shoe, and itching to go to work!!!”

A woman should move completely differently. While paying close attention to how to develop your femininity, you must learn how to move correctly. After a little training, you will be able to develop the “correct” gait, and it will very quickly become the only acceptable one for you.

Femininity and demeanor


To develop your femininity, you must understand that it must come from within you. We can dress and behave as our feminine nature dictates to us, but this is still not enough. Dress a man in exactly the same way, and it will be clear from a kilometer away that he is a man. Why? Because it is impossible for a guy to fake a purely feminine demeanor. We must recognize that, both psychologically and culturally, women tend to have unique characteristics that are different from men. Understanding this difference will help you develop your feminine nature.

Try to emphasize those physical and emotional qualities that distinguish you from a man. This does not necessarily mean that you should dress provocatively or, conversely, be constantly embarrassed and shy. Show your sensitivity, caring, and ability to empathize. Typically, femininity is associated with kindness, compassion and a desire to help others.

Pay attention to your mannerisms, speech and ways of interacting with people. Try to be more receptive and passive rather than active and aggressive. This does not mean that you cannot speak your mind in a controversial situation; just choose to speak as gently and tactfully as possible about any issue. And smile as often as possible. Watch the correctness of your speech and refrain from using vulgar words or profanity - a real Woman will never allow herself to do this!

Be natural in your behavior. There is nothing more beautiful and feminine than a girl who feels confident and calm. Do things that make you feel beautiful and happy. Listen to good, happy music that lifts your spirits. Read or daydream in the park or in your garden, surrounded by beautiful flowers. Have a get-together with your friends in a cafe or a good pastry shop. Give free rein to your positive feelings and emotions. Agree, it is women who are characterized by an easy and joyful perception of the surrounding reality - so learn to enjoy every trifle!

Do not forget to be weak and in need of care: men really like to act as protectors. Let the man open the door for you or pull up a chair. Let him offer you his help, and you accept it. If you are used to doing many things yourself, then call your friend or husband next time when you need to do something that is not entirely feminine - for example, moving a sofa or hanging a photo frame on the wall.

It’s not for nothing that they say that a woman’s strength is in her weakness. It helps you to be feminine much better than manipulative actions using your sexuality. By allowing your man to help and giving him the opportunity to make you happy, you are sending him the message that you are worthy of love, admiration and protection simply because you are a real woman who can appreciate all the qualities of her man. This is the most important sign of femininity!

Qualities that men find especially feminine

Most women mistakenly believe that appearance beautiful ladies has the most important meaning for men. But a man mainly evaluates a woman by her personal qualities when it comes to serious relationships. What do guys like? First of all, affection and affection. Of course, men are very focused on physical pleasure from intimacy, but this does not mean that they do not seek and do not want love. A woman who pays too much attention to sexual intercourse, but does not show affection, will be considered nothing more than a sexual partner.

Moreover, affection and love should be shown not only in the bedroom. Touch the man's hand affectionately when you sit across the table from each other. Give him a warm hug. Straighten the hair hanging over his eyes or remove an eyelash that has fallen on his cheek. Men really like this kind of unobtrusive attention and manifestation of warmth and love!

Men also like cheerful girls with good feeling humor. If you don't take yourself or life too seriously and know how to laugh at troubles, then guys will always be drawn to you. And men also really like playful women who like to fool around, regardless of their age. Youth of soul is a very attractive character trait and goes hand in hand with a sense of humor and the ability to have fun.

It would be possible to talk about other qualities that it would be wise to cultivate in yourself in order to become more attractive. There is no limit to perfection! But what you have just read about is quite enough to understand how to develop femininity in yourself. We showed you the main guidelines on the path to improvement; and it now depends only on you how charming, attractive and feminine you can become!

Each of us has a familiar person who instantly attracts attention. Such people have charisma that is difficult to resist. Fortunately, this quality can be developed in yourself. The first step is to work on your self-confidence and learn to express your respect for others, and then you should develop your verbal and non-verbal communication skills.

Steps

How to build self-confidence

    Think about what you like about yourself. People will like you faster if they see you the way you see yourself. You may find it difficult to appreciate yourself. In this case, you should remember your strengths, your skills and what makes you special. If you remember your positive features, it will be easier for you to deal with doubts.

    • Make a list of your positive qualities, skills and achievements. Ask people close to you to tell you what they like about you.
    • Experiment with the external features that you like about yourself. For example, if you want to draw attention to your eyes, learn to draw elegant winged wings, and if you're proud of your legs, dress in a way that shows off your legs.
  1. Learn think positively . A positive attitude attracts people and makes them want to spend more time with a positive person. Be optimistic, try to see the good in every situation and encourage others. See problems and obstacles as opportunities, not as insurmountable difficulties. Below are some tips to help you stay positive:

    • Replace negative thoughts positive. If you find yourself thinking that you will inevitably fail, respond to yourself with a positive affirmation. For example: “This is an opportunity for growth and development.”
    • Surround yourself with positive people. This will help you stay positive.
    • Laugh to lift your spirits. Watch a comedy, tell a joke, or share a funny story with people. Laughter every day will help you have a positive outlook on life.
    • Make a list of things you are grateful for.
    • Work on what you are not happy with. If you feel like blaming yourself for something, remind yourself of your progress.
  2. Dress to impress people. Your clothes say a lot about your sense of self and how people should perceive you. Clothing is also a reflection of your feelings present moment. Choose clothes that make you feel great. This will communicate to others what you want to convey to people.

    • Wear clothes that fit you well. Choose attractive colors and patterns.
    • Don't wear things just because they are considered fashionable. If you don't like a thing, you won't feel comfortable in it, and it will be noticeable from the outside.
  3. If you need to feel confident in your abilities, think about some of your achievements. When a person thinks about his achievements, the brain produces oxytocin, a substance that helps a person feel satisfied with himself. If you lack self-confidence, increasing your oxytocin levels will help you feel more confident for a while. If you have any upcoming important event, think about what you have achieved in the past.

    • For example, you could keep photos that remind you of three big accomplishments in a special folder on your phone. Review them before going to any event or important meeting.
  4. Take a free improvisation class. Improv will teach you how to speak in front of people and think on your feet. Improv classes will help you step out of your comfort zone among like-minded people. Plus, you're sure to have a good time.

    • Look for courses online or on social media.

    How to Express Your Interest and Respect for Others

    1. Don't use electronic devices while talking to people. Staying busy with an electronic device while talking to others will make people feel less important. Put your phone on silent mode and put it in your pocket or bag. Do not play games on smart watches or other devices. Give your full attention to the people you interact with.

      • Take time to check your phone for new messages. From time to time, apologize, go to the restroom and read your messages.
    2. Attentively listen when people talk about themselves. Focus on what the person is saying, not on your answer. Nod and comment on what was said (“yeah,” “interesting,” “wow”) to show your interest.

      • Ask people open-ended questions to keep the conversation going. Listen to the answers with genuine interest.
      • Try paraphrasing what the person said to let them know you were listening.
    3. Be sincere to people compliments . Tell them what you like and what you appreciate about them. This will improve their mood. To make your compliment more meaningful, be specific. For example, instead of the neutral " good presentation“say this: “You managed to formulate your thoughts very well today during the presentation.”

      • If you compliment a person's appearance, he will be pleased. The person might even like you even more. However, this is not appropriate in every situation, especially at work.
      • Praise work, achievements and skills. This will motivate and inspire people.
    4. Remember people's names. When meeting people, repeat their names out loud to help you remember them. Call the person by name when you want to talk to him. If a person sees that you remember the name, he will feel special and interested in you.

      • To make the name stick in your memory, repeat it several times while talking to the person.
    5. Manifest empathy in relation to others. Consider what other people's motives might be. Try to see the situation from their point of view. Put yourself in the other person's shoes to understand how they feel. Let people know that you understand their feelings. Acknowledge their feelings and listen to their words.

      • Ask the person how they feel and listen carefully to the answer.
      • Don't judge people because they may behave differently than you would in a similar situation. All people have their own experiences that influence the formation of character.
      • Tell people that you have felt the same way they have in the past.
    6. Talk about your challenges and how you overcame them. Inspire others with stories from your life. This will make you seem mature and accomplished, but people will also see that you worked hard to get where you are.

    How to communicate with people

    1. Learn to carry on meaningless conversations. Many people find this difficult, and this is normal, but charismatic people know how to talk to everyone. Make a list of topics for such conversations. Practice talking about these topics on camera or in front of a mirror to sharpen your communication skills.

      • For example, you can talk about the weather, your city, sports, favorite music, holidays or seasons.
    2. Make jokes to get closer to other people. You can tell jokes, funny stories, or make fun of yourself. This will make people feel more comfortable around you and make them want to spend more time with you.

      • But don't overdo it. Use jokes at the right times in a conversation or speech.
      • For example, you could start your presentation with a joke or tell a funny story at a party.
    3. Know how to tell stories. This skill attracts people and makes a person more interesting in the eyes of others. When talking about yourself, tell stories. Share your experience. Use special intonations, bright gestures and lively facial expressions so that others are interested in listening to you.

      • Acting courses will help you develop this skill. Actors and charismatic people use the same techniques to hold an audience's attention and evoke emotion. During the courses you will learn to use different intonations, tones of voice, gestures and facial expressions.
    4. Be strong in your beliefs. People are put off by uncertainty, so you need to be clear about your position. Believe in the correctness of your choice and your words. Tell others that you know the answer, even if you are not completely sure. If, over time, you realize you were wrong, you can reevaluate the situation and make different choices.

      • Even if you're not sure, you'll appear charismatic to people if you act as if you're convinced that you're making the right choice. Make decisions based on the information you have now. If you decide later that you were wrong, you can change your mind.
      • For example, say, “I believe in this plan,” instead of, “This plan can work.” The first phrase shows that you are confident in your idea, and the second - that you do not fully believe in success.
    5. Be very enthusiastic about what you say. We are all attracted to people who are passionate about something. Don't talk mindlessly - tell people only what you really believe. Speak with passion and invite people to share your passion.

      • Build your life around things you are passionate about. This way you will be interesting to others as a person. If something doesn't make your heart beat faster, put it aside.