Have you ever thought about how we see things? How to grab them from all the visual diversity environment using sensory stimuli? And how do we interpret what we see?

Visual processing is the ability to make sense of images, allowing humans (and even animals) to process and interpret the meaning of the information we receive through our vision.

Visual perception plays an important role in everyday life, helping with learning and communicating with others. At first glance it seems as if perception occurs easily. In fact, behind the supposed ease lies a complex process. Understanding how we interpret what we see helps us design visual information.

A balanced infographic involves the proper use of visual representation (for example, charts, graphs, icons, images), an appropriate choice of colors and fonts, a suitable layout and site map, etc. And we must not forget about the data, its sources and topics, which is no less important. But today we will not talk about them. We will focus on the visual side of information design.

Psychologist Richard Gregory (1970) was convinced that visual perception depends on top-down processing.

Top-down processing, or conceptually driven processing, occurs when we form a picture of the big picture from small details. We make assumptions about what we see based on expectations, beliefs, prior knowledge, and previous experiences. In other words, we are making an educated guess.

Gregory's theory is supported by numerous evidence and experiments. One of the most famous examples— hollow mask effect:

When the mask is turned to the hollow side, you see a normal face

Gregory used Charlie Chaplin's rotating mask to explain how we perceive the hollow surface of a mask as bulges based on our beliefs about the world. According to our previous knowledge of facial structure, the nose should protrude. As a result, we subconsciously reconstruct the hollow face and see a normal one.

How do we perceive visual information according to Gregory's theory?

1. Almost 90% of information received through the eyes does not reach the brain. Thus, the brain uses previous experience or existing knowledge to construct reality.

2. The visual information that we perceive is combined with previously stored information about the world that we have acquired through experience.

3. Based on various examples Top-down processing theory suggests that pattern recognition is based on contextual information.

Information Design Tip #1, based on Gregory's Visual Inference Theory: Enhance the data with an appropriate theme and design; use a meaningful headline to set key expectations; Support your visuals with expressive text.

2. Sanoka and Sulman's experiment on color relationships

According to numerous psychological studies, combinations of homogeneous colors are more harmonious and pleasant. While contrasting colors are usually associated with chaos and aggression.

In 2011, Thomas Sanocki and Noah Sulman conducted an experiment to study how color combinations affect short-term memory - our ability to remember what we just saw.

Four different experiences were carried out using harmonious and disharmonious color palettes. In each trial, participants were shown two palettes: first one, then a second, which had to be compared with the first. The palettes were shown at a certain time interval and several times in random combinations. The subjects had to determine whether the palettes were the same or different. Also, the experiment participants had to evaluate the harmony of the palette - a pleasant/unpleasant combination of colors.

Below are 4 examples of palettes that were shown to participants in the experiment:

How do colors affect our visual perception according to Sanocki and Sulman's theory?

1. People remember better those palettes in which the colors are combined with each other.
2. People remember palettes that contain a combination of only three or fewer colors better than those that contain four or more colors.
3. The contrast of adjacent colors affects how well a person remembers a color scheme. In other words, this means that the color difference between context and background can enhance our ability to focus on the context.
4. We can remember quite a large number of color combinations at the same time.

Thus, the results of the experiment indicate that people are better able to absorb and remember more information when perceiving images with a contrasting but harmonious color scheme, preferably with a combination of three or fewer colors.

Information design tip #2, based on Sanoka and Sulman's experiment: Use as few different colors as possible in complex content; increase the contrast between the visual information and the background; choose themes with a harmonious combination of shades; use disharmonious color combinations wisely.

Binocular rivalry occurs when we see two different images at the same location. One of them dominates, and the second is suppressed. Dominance alternates at certain intervals. So, instead of seeing a combination of two pictures at the same time, we perceive them in turn, as two images competing for dominance.

In a 1998 experiment, Frank Tong, Ken Nakayama, J. Thomas Vaughan, and Nancy Kanwisher concluded that if you look at two different images at the same time, the effect of binocular rivalry occurs.

Four trained people took part in the experiment. As stimuli, they were shown images of a face and a house through glasses with red and green filters. During the perception process, there was an irregular alternation of signals from the two eyes. The subjects' stimulus-specific responses were monitored using functional magnetic resonance imaging (MRI).

How do we perceive visual information according to Tong's experiment?

1. According to MRI data, all subjects showed active binocular rivalry when they were shown dissimilar pictures.
2. In our visual system, the binocular rivalry effect occurs during visual processing. In other words, during the short period of time when the eyes are looking at two dissimilar images located close to each other, we are not able to determine what we are actually seeing.

David Carmel, Michael Arcaro, Sabine Kastner and Uri Hasson conducted a separate experiment and found that binocular rivalry can be manipulated using stimulus parameters such as color, brightness, contrast , shape, size, spatial frequency or speed.

Manipulating contrast in the example below causes the left eye to perceive a dominant image, while the right eye perceives a suppressed image:

How does contrast affect our visual perception according to the experiment?

1. Contrast manipulation causes a strong stimulus to be dominant more time.
2. We will see a fusion of the dominant image and part of the suppressed one until the effect of binocular rivalry arises.

Information Design Tip #3 Based on the Binocular Rivalry Effect: n Don’t overload the content; use themed icons; highlight key points.

4. The influence of typography and aesthetics on the reading process

Did you know that typography can influence a person's mood and ability to make decisions?

Typography is the design and use of typefaces as a means of visual communication. Nowadays, typography has moved from the field of book printing into the digital sphere. Summarizing all possible definitions of the term, we can say that the purpose of typography is to improve the visual perception of text.

In an experiment, Kevin Larson (Microsoft) and Rosalind Picard (MIT) found out how typography affects a reader's mood and problem-solving ability.

They conducted two studies, each involving 20 people. Participants were divided into two equal groups and given 20 minutes to read an issue of The New Yorker magazine on a tablet. One group received a text with bad typography, the other - with good typography (examples are given below):

During the experiment, participants were interrupted and asked how much time they thought had passed since the start of the experiment. According to data psychological research(Weybrew, 1984): People who find their activities enjoyable and are in a positive mood report spending significantly less time reading.

After reading the texts, the experiment participants were asked to solve the candle problem. They had to attach the candle to the wall so that the wax would not drip, using pushpins.

How do we perceive good typography and its impact?

1. Both groups of participants misestimated the time spent reading. This means that reading was a fun activity for them.
2. Participants who were presented with text with good typography significantly underestimated their reading time compared to participants who were presented with text with poor typography. This means that they found the first text more interesting.
3. None of the participants who read the text with poor typography were able to solve the candle problem. While less than half of the second group completed the task. Thus, good typography influenced the ability to solve problems.

Information Design Tip #4, based on Larsen and Picard's experiment on the influence of typography: Use readable fonts; separate text from images; do not overlay pictures or icons on the text; leave enough white space between paragraphs.

5. Perception of the essence of the scene according to Castellano and Henderson

Have you ever wondered what the expression “a picture says a thousand words” really means? Or why do we perceive images better than text?

This does not mean that the image tells us all the information we need. A person simply has the ability to grasp the main elements of a scene at one glance. When we fix our gaze on an object or objects, we form general idea and recognize the meaning of the scene.

What is the perception of the essence of the scene? According to Nissan Research & Development researcher Ronald A. Rensink:

“Scene gist, or scene perception, is the visual perception of the environment as an observer at any given time. It includes not only the perception of individual objects, but also such parameters as their relative positions, as well as the idea that other types of objects are encountered."

Imagine that you see certain objects that represent two signs with symbols, and a diagram that symbolizes a fork and indicates two different paths. Most likely, the following scene appeared in front of you - you are in the middle of the jungle/forest/highway and there are two paths ahead that lead to two different destinations. Based on this scene, we know that a decision must be made and one path must be chosen.

In 2008, Monica S. Castelhano of the University of Massachusetts Amherst and John M. Henderson of the University of Edinburgh studied the effect of color on the ability to perceive the essence of a scene.

The experiment included three different trials. Students were shown several hundred photographs (natural or man-made objects) under different conditions for each test. Each image was shown in a specific sequence and time point. Participants were asked to respond “yes” or “no” when they saw details that matched the scene.

Normal and blurred photographs were presented with color and monochrome photographs, respectively.

To determine the role of colors in the perception of the essence of a scene, anomalous colors were used for the following example photographs:

How do we perceive visual information based on Castellano and Henderson's findings?

1. The subjects grasped the essence of the scene and the target object within seconds. This means that people can quickly understand the meaning of a normal scene.
2. The subjects were faster at matching color pictures than black and white ones. Thus, color helps us understand a picture better.
3. In general, colors determine the structure of objects. The better a color matches the way we typically perceive the world, the easier it is for us to understand the meaning of the image.

Information Design Tip #5 Based on Castellano and Henderson's Scene Perception Research: Use appropriate icons or pictures to represent data; arrange content in the correct sequence; use familiar colors for important objects.

Conclusions

Understanding how people perceive visual information helps improve infographics. Summarizing the conclusions of the experiments reviewed, we bring to your attention key tips for visual information design:

1. Layout and design

• The theme and design should be consistent with the information.
• Don't overcrowd your page's infographics.
• Use themed icons.
• Arrange content in proper sequence.
• Use headings to set key expectations.

2. Video sequence

• Visuals should accompany the text.
• Show important numbers in graphs and charts.
• Use the right pictures and icons to represent your data.

• Reduce the number of colors for complex content.
• Make the contrast higher between important visual information and the background.
• Use harmonious theme colors.
• Use disharmonious colors wisely.
• Use regular colors for important objects.

4. Typography

• Choose readable fonts.
• Leave plenty of white space between the title and the text or image.
• Do not overlay pictures or icons on text.
• Provide sufficient spaces between characters.

Now that you know the ins and outs of creating beautiful and compelling infographics, it's up to you!

How to take criticism, what you need to know for yourself. Various situations and people

Hello everyone, while I’m still learning to write what I want to express in words, well, in short, I’ll try...

In order to learn how to respond correctly to criticism, it is first important to understand for yourself why we need this, why we are doing this.

Without a clear understanding of the reasons and goals, all we will have left is the desire to learn how to cope with criticism, and there will be little use, although if you already have such a desire, it’s already good, all that remains is to work on yourself a little, to comprehend something, compare and feel. Then it will just be a matter of technique.

First, let’s figure out who can criticize us and why and, based on this, see how to treat criticism

We can be criticized completely normally, and deservedly so. Because we did something wrong or blurted out something wrong without thinking. In some states, joyful or, on the contrary, under stress, this is possible. In emotions, sometimes some kind of unjustified rudeness can come out, and in joy, stupidity can come out. All this is normal for humans. There are people who control their emotions and thoughts well; this happens to them rarely; to others, it happens more often.

When a person criticizes you on the matter, then you certainly should not defend yourself and respond with criticism to criticism. This is not the moment when the best defense is attack. If you are guilty, the best thing you can do is admit your guilt.

In addition, by admitting your mistake, you will wrest away his own weapon from the one who criticizes you. You need to honestly admit your guilt for your own sake. You may even like it - you will feel satisfaction in your soul, maybe not right away, but I assure you you will feel it.

When you are attacked with criticism, it is important the very first moment. Having recognized criticism addressed to you, do not retreat into these strong emotions of indignation and self-defense, but stay in normal consciousness in order to react correctly and say the right words..

It is very difficult to do this in a very excited state, therefore, it is so important to learn to catch yourself at the moment when they begin to criticize.

In general, good, correct criticism we even need it, she teaches us and pushes us to action. And even more so, you can’t do without it if you really strive for something. You have a goal and you are rushing towards it with full sail. " Success without criticism is impossible"- smart and the right words, which I read somewhere and remembered once and for all.

It happens like this situation - person wants to cover himself or someone else, and attacking with criticism, wants to shift the blame onto you. No justice.

But you start freaking out and ardently proving your point, - you won't achieve anything except when it rises, you will look unconvincing and ruin your mood.

And most importantly, if the critic behaves correctly, he will achieve his goal, and you will remain guilty, even if this is not at all the case. Of course, at such moments the anger of justice rises to the throat - this is clear. But it’s best if you, even when you’re burning inside, restrain yourself and just brush your teeth.

For this, it is very important and effective - speak calmly, firmly and confidently.- "It's not my fault because...." . and explain why as briefly as possible. Repeat these words twice and All. That's enough. Everything else will already be resemble yours justification. And justification implies guilt, so saying the words of defense a couple of times will be enough. Whoever needs it will understand your words. It is important that this is said as calmly and confidently as possible.

Everything else you can do so as not to spray, so this turn off your brain from all thoughts and imagine within yourself the image of someone attacking you in the form of something funny.

I like the image Natalya Rom, a famous psychologist, came up with. This "Hedgehog in the Fog". Imagine the attacker as this hedgehog and mentally throw flakes of fog at him.

Imagine someone so impudent funny hedgehog in family shorts below the knees with thin legs, who swells something, speaks, but it’s hard to hear him. And throw flakes of fog into his nose. You can imagine another image that you prefer.

But there is other criticism, rather, people who are trying to criticize us.

There are those who criticize in order to rise up. Raise your authority among others. They are ready to criticize with or without reason, just to show their “I” and establish themselves in their own and other people’s eyes. This is a common way to raise your authority.

You need to identify such people in your life and, of course, react to it normally. That is no way, all energy expenditure will be in vain. When you begin to understand that it is precisely such a person who is criticizing you, then in general a feeling of indifference should arise. This is the best thing, and the attacker, having noticed this, will very quickly fall behind, realizing that he has run into the wrong thing.

Of course, a feeling of justice and indignation may arise - “that a person achieves his authority in this way,” but you will not change it and you will not prove anything, and you can only spoil your mood. Do you need this?

At this moment you need to survive the first few seconds. Simply, without analyzing anything in your head, endure this very peak of internal indignation. Next, as coldly and confidently as possible, either say words of defense, or, if guilty, honestly admit the criticism, as I wrote above.

And there are those who are just looking for a fight. Many of them really get pleasure from it (a thrill), they don’t care what, why and why. Entering into any dialogue with them, trying to explain something, or saying anything at all is pointless. In this case, you just need to get out of this situation as soon as possible.

Or, if a person is chasing you and the collision continues, it means he has some kind of obvious target. Here you either remain calm, and he lags behind, seeing that he cannot achieve what he wants. Or just leave completely. Or at the very least, as an option for men, to punch him in the face, perhaps this is exactly what he dreamed of or wanted to do too.

There are people who lose their steam this way, your negative emotions. Having screamed and quarreled, they calm down. In general, this could be quite good normal person. He just doesn’t know how, or it’s difficult for him to relieve tension in other, normal ways.

And if there are also a lot of problems that haunt you, then for a person there is a direct need to get excited, make a big deal out of a trifle and enter into conflict. And that usually starts with criticism.

Having learned to accept criticism normally, without unnecessary emotions, you can drive such a person into a rage, but after several of his ineffective attacks, he will leave you alone and look for another object to attack.

It's worse when it happens in the family.

Competitors criticize. If you understand that this criticism is unfounded and comes from a competitor, then the best thing is to remain silent at all. Otherwise, your answer may later be used against you. God knows what you might say or do in an excited state.

The very understanding that criticism comes from a competitor should not only reassure you, but somewhere tell you that you are doing everything right. Otherwise, no one would even remember about you.

How to take criticism correctly

The most important thing is to realize that criticism is directed at you and cope with your first feelings and emotions. Remember that criticism is normal and, after restraining yourself for the first time, take it calmly. This is the best way to answer it correctly. In addition to all this, a nervous reaction to criticism will cause a negative state from which it will then be much more difficult to get out of.

Often, the ability to respond to criticism comes on its own when a person grows up, with experience - realizing that the nerves and energy spent on this are not worth it. But many, even with age, cannot accept criticism normally and calmly; they cannot cope, first of all, with themselves and their emotions.

The reason may be not only in the criticism itself, but primarily in yourself. You need to honestly reflect on why you feel the way you do about criticism. Perhaps you react so nervously to everything, not just criticism.

Maybe these are some of your complexes that you need to work on. Maybe you are not in the best condition or are exhausted, then read the article "Nervous tension, how and what." A perhaps you just need to increase your self-esteem; very often this is one of the reasons for an aggressive reaction to criticism. If so, then I recommend that you read this in the article "", a few tips can help you in this matter.

Exercise.

Invite a friend over and ask him to jokingly criticize you. And you respond to this criticism. First of all, since this is a joke situations - emotions there will be no unnecessary ones and you will feel for yourself what it’s like to react calmly and have fun.

Secondly, having done this exercise several times - all this will be well deposited in your memory, even funny moments will be remembered, which in real criticism can help you precisely with their memory. But one way or another, everything takes time and practice.

Another little exercise. We sit down, close our eyes and calmly fall asleep. Closing your eyes, we remember a situation when you were criticized and it was very unpleasant for you. We remember in images and in detail.

PHOTO Getty Images

1. Be prepared

It’s good if you have at least a rough idea of ​​what you might be criticized for. If you need feedback about your work or behavior in general, ask for it while remaining confident. Don't invite a derogatory response or false approval by asking questions like, "Am I doing a bad job at this?"

2. Keep calm

Check if your body is tense and control your breathing.

3. Think positively

Feedback can be very helpful to you. Assertive people are not afraid to make mistakes, viewing them as opportunities to learn.

4. Stay in the Adult Position

An adult is that part of your personality that is guided by rationality and objectivity. Try to evaluate the critical review according to the following parameters:

• How important is this person's opinion to you?
• How fair and constructive is this criticism?

“Turn on” your adult part to remind yourself that criticism only applies to certain aspects of your behavior. This does not mean that you are completely rejected as a person.

5. Listen carefully

Calmly repeat what your critic says in order to:

• show that you are listening carefully;
• check whether you heard what was said correctly (since anxiety can impair our ability to perceive other people's words, and sometimes even our ability to hear).

6. Show empathy for those who criticize you

This does not mean self-deprecation. There is no need to say something like “Yes, it must be terrible to live with a person like me!” It is better to say: “I understand that my behavior may upset you.” Or: “I understand that you have been unhappy for some time that I...”

7. Take a break

Sometimes it's better to postpone the conversation until later. Especially if you feel that you cannot maintain your Adult position because you are too angry or confused. In this case, agree to talk another time. Say that you can listen to the other person more carefully later. During this time, you can calm down, reconsider all the facts and, if necessary, prepare for a counterattack.

8. Protect yourself

If it seems to you that your critic is unfair or aggressive, or the time and place for such a conversation are chosen poorly (for example, at the moment you need to gather strength before an important meeting, or your conversation is taking place in a crowded place, or you are simply tired) - Be assertive and defend yourself.

9. Make it clear what exactly they want to tell you

Ask clarifying questions. For example, if your critic says, “I don’t think someone who behaves like you would ever be promoted to manager,” ask them, “What is it about my behavior that makes you think that?” This technique reveals aggressive and derogatory undertones that may be disguised as friendly or innocent comments. Sometimes the phrase “Did you buy new lipstick?” may mean: “How vulgar is that lipstick of yours!” And the question “Were there traffic jams again?” can actually mean "You're late again!"

10. Share your feelings and thoughts

Respond honestly to constructive criticism unless you have some special reason not to. Recognize its positive aspects. For example, you could say, “I was a little taken aback by what you said. But on the other hand, there is reason to think about it.” Another option: “I found that helpful to hear, although I may not agree with you.”

11. Give yourself more confidence

Remind yourself of your strengths and about your values, about what you have achieved. Ask for support from people who love you for who you are.

12. Make an action plan

If the criticism is fair and you really want to listen to it and change something in your behavior, think about how this can be done. If the criticism is aggressive and unfair and you do not agree with it, but at the same time it has hurt you or unsettled you, you need to think about some self-defense techniques or understand the underlying reasons for your reaction. Perhaps your critic's words reminded you of some significant people in your life, for example about your parents or boss. Understanding the reason can help you free yourself from this stupor. Maybe you should engage in self-development, work on your relationships with these people, so that past failures no longer deprive you of strength. If you cannot understand the reasons for your reaction yourself, it is better to contact a psychotherapist or trainer 1.

Gael Lindenfield is a psychotherapist, self-development coach and writer. Her books “How to Deal with Anger” have been translated into Russian. A positive strategy for managing strong emotions" (Golden Calf, 1997) and "Theory and practice of assertiveness. How to be open, active and natural" (Potpourri, 2003).

1 For more details, see the book by G. Lindenfield “Super-Confidence. Simple Steps to Bild Self-Assurance" (Thorsons; New edition edition, 2000).

Identify the source of criticism

The first thing you should focus on when receiving criticism is to answer the question of who the person expressing it is to you. Is he important to you or was he just passing by? The most correct way would be to respond to criticism from those people with whom you have strong, ongoing relationships, who know you well and value you - as an employee, friend, partner or acquaintance - and are generally positive towards you. It is pointless to analyze anonymous negative comments on the Internet, the everyday rudeness of semi-random people and passers-by, the opinions of distant relatives and friends of friends about your life, life experience doesn't inspire confidence in you.

The modern Internet space is designed in such a way that anyone can offend with impunity, leave a caustic comment, without thinking about the feelings of others. And the most wrong thing would be to get excited about such sweeping negative remarks. This is definitely not criticism, but rather tactlessness or even rudeness. Criticism, even harsh criticism, always suggests opportunities for improvement and potential for growth. How much growth can you achieve after the comment “worthless profession” or “ugly face”? Such remarks are an indicator of the emotional state of the speaker, not a critic, and a person who respects you will never throw around such cruel language.

Trolling is always trolling; you should not expect adequate criticism from strangers and people indifferent to you. It is necessary, first of all, to ignore negative comments from strangers for your own peace of mind - trolls don’t care who they attack, they are only interested in their own release of negativity.

Once the source of the criticism has been identified and you trust, think about your relationship with the person who is criticizing you and how often they do it. In a situation with an employer, it is his job to criticize your work. Colleagues often criticize us when we fight for areas of responsibility and try to agree on a hierarchy in crisis moments at work. Parents and older relatives often criticize us hierarchically and out of habit - from the moment they taught us to tie our shoelaces. And dealing with their criticism is the work of setting personal boundaries. Through criticism, partners and friends talk about personal boundaries and communicate wishes in relationships, insist on their preferences and often want to change us - it is important here that criticism never turns into disputes “who is to blame?” and attempts to shift responsibility to each other in difficult situations. The source of criticism must be taken into account in order to successfully complete the next step.

Separate the emotional from the rational

Criticism is a separate art of delicacy and tact, which is not developed in the domestic public sphere. This is not taught at school and university, even less often constructive criticism You can learn on the job: many people in leadership positions abuse established hierarchies and pathologically miscommunicate with the people who depend on them. Others do not know how to communicate except in a passive-aggressive manner, which contradicts the idea of ​​constructive criticism.

The main skill for a person receiving criticism is to find the rational grain in the remark and concentrate on it, and not on the emotional shell. This does not mean at all that you need to ignore the tone of the conversation and the mood of the interlocutor, but the most important thing is to establish what in his message is fact and what is the person’s attitude.

Not all of our interlocutors can formulate the correct phrase “I am offended that you are often late,” but they are ready to give harsh comments about our behavior in an uncompromising and sarcastic form: “You are, as always, by the way.” It is very easy to be offended by this if you take the emotional part of the message personally, but it is the one being criticized who will most often suffer from such offense. Therefore, if criticism is communicated to you in an emotionally unacceptable form (screaming, swearing, aggressive attacks in the presence of strangers, offensive remarks), be sure to talk it over with the other party.

Tim Gouw/Unsplash

Don't defend yourself, ask questions

The two main methods in communicating with a critic are clarifying questions and fixation on details; they help to disassemble an often categorical message at first glance into components that can be worked with. “You didn’t do what I said at all” is an indetailed criticism that does not provide opportunities for growth, correction of mistakes and does not explain anything. Ideally, criticism should become instructions - ready-made recommendations aimed at results that you can begin to implement right now.

Help your interlocutor clarify unclear wording and give a general comment, because all criticism is needed to improve something: work results, personal relationships, emotional climate. What could have been done differently? Where did the failure start? How to achieve the best with such limited resources? How to overcome the next crisis faster? All these questions help shift attention from sorting things out to the practical side: how can you correct what has already happened right now, and does it make sense? With detailed and leading questions, we shift attention from the error to methods for correcting it, and most importantly, to whether it is possible to correct this error and how to treat a negative result, how not to repeat it next time.

Very often we are criticized not for the real situation, but in response to completely different actions, and clarifying questions help clarify this. In close relationships, criticism of small things is often used to gain emotional release. It often happens that managers do not know how to explain a task, and then tend to blame employees for doing things on their own. If this is a work conversation, always have a pen and paper handy when asking clarifying questions and jotting down comments from colleagues and management. Focus on the actions that are expected of you and on the details that prevented you from doing the job effectively. Discuss together how to overcome the same problem next time.

At the moment of such a two-way dialogue, not only does nervousness go away, but a systemic managerial problem can also be revealed: ineffective use of time, unrealistic goals, unclear division of functions and powers. Regardless of the management method chosen, work commentary should always be aimed at improving the work situation, and not at correcting your character, behavior or appearance.

The same applies to personal relationships. In an emotional remark, “Why do I have to do this alone again?” there is a request for help and participation, but posing the question in the form of a claim often prevents us from seeing this. How can I help you now? What do you expect from me now? Maybe there is something else that upsets you? These are questions that help us understand the expectations of another person and shift the focus from dissatisfaction with each other to dialogue, where responsibility is shared between two, and all further actions become the subject of common agreements.

Pay attention to word choice and context of criticism

The motivation to criticize us may vary from person to person depending on the nature of our connections. For colleagues and bosses, this is a logical part of feedback; for relatives, it’s an opportunity to take care; for children, it’s an attempt to define their boundaries. Each critic will choose his own formulations and his own situation for this.

Try to convey to others that it is always better to criticize your work or a specific situation in a personal conversation. Evaluative adjectives - “superficial”, “flat”, “primitive”, “ineffective” - in fact always lose to recommendations and catastrophically reduce motivation to change for the better. Short and fragmented reviews are always worse than detailed ones - set aside time in meetings for a thorough critique, especially if the work is difficult and you need an outside perspective. A detailed analysis of one paragraph of text, one negotiation, one meeting, one table, one conversation always gives more practical benefit than a general collective conversation. If you hear criticism about yourself and want to use it to your advantage, politely insist that it be detailed.

Remember also that our work can often be criticized by people (customers, colleagues, bosses) who have no understanding of what they really need. Therefore, before starting to work with new people or difficult task ask for a detailed plan, approve it in advance and move on it without deviations. Or ask for clear references - a clear role model that is easy to follow. If the team has a set of rules, appeal to it, defending your point of view.

If your personal relationship lacks some basic agreements about money, free time, general leisure, raising children, work, distribution of responsibilities, sex, constant criticism from your partner is a signal that it’s time to start a long-needed dialogue. Think about the deep motives of loved ones: an unwashed dish, an always-on phone, a long working day, a forgotten purchase from the list are never in themselves reasons for criticism, especially systemic criticism.

Alejandro Escamilla/Unsplash

Develop a general procedure

There is no point in criticizing something that cannot be improved or devaluing another person according to your preferences. “Short hair doesn’t suit you,” “Why do you speak so slowly?” and “You don't have math skills” are not criticism, but offensive remarks. The haircut is already short (and it’s another person’s, not yours, and you don’t have to like it), the person talks the way he talks, and with a wave of his hand, a colleague will not turn from a humanist to a mathematician. When criticizing others, you must always remember that there are things that the person being criticized cannot change.

When accepting criticism, you need to think about what you are being criticized for: for a specific result or for your personality, appearance and views. Separate the preferences of others from what you have control over and what you can change. The sound of your voice, body type and abilities are constants and criticism should not be based on them. If you're a student, get into the habit of asking your mentor questions about what would make your work complete. If you work, come up with an effective system of criticism and rewards that works specifically for you. If criticism comes from subordinates and colleagues, this is often a signal that you, despite more high position, there is something to work on yourself - and regular simple pressure will not solve the situation. Don’t be afraid to use what was said to you as a start for personal changes: in delegation of power, negotiations, and clearer instructions for subordinates. Just because many people depend on you doesn't mean you never need to change or meet them halfway.

The golden rule of responding to criticism - not to respond immediately - works in both horizontal and vertical relationships. Do not respond to work emails with the first thing that comes to mind, do not criticize others out of strong emotions or bad mood, try to reschedule the critical conversation at a time that is convenient for you, when you are calm and not anxious. And remember that criticism can never be directed into emptiness: based on it, you can always learn something new, find a new solution, or try a non-obvious method in relationships or work.

Understanding that you are vulnerable, that you can make mistakes, but strive for the best is the first stage on the path to accepting often difficult and uncomfortable criticism. Awareness of vulnerability and imperfection is precisely what helps to rebuild from constant defense and self-justification for shortcomings to the beginning collaboration with others to improve their actions. After all, criticism is feedback and time spent working with you, for which you should be grateful in any case, even if the relationship has exhausted itself. If criticism from the outside systematically upsets you so much that there is no rational grain in it, and critical analysis over and over again leaves you with a feeling of crushed dignity, this is a good starting request that you can work with in the company of a therapist.