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Soul binding 05.10.2016

Dear readers, today on the blog we will continue the topics of positive psychology. And Elena Khutornaya, the presenter of the section, is with us again. For those who came to our section for the first time, I will introduce Elena: blogger, writer, web designer, wonderful, warm and very wise man. And Lena also edits all the articles in our magazine Scents of Happiness. Today Lena offers us a topic for conversation: “The pitfalls of positive psychology.”

I read the article with great interest. I always look forward to Lena's topics. I think that we all have something to think about again, think about, and most importantly, learn to calmly accept everything that happens in our lives. I won't get ahead of things. I give the floor to Lena.

Positive psychology- this is definitely a good thing. Positivity means a lot in our lives, no one can argue with this, and often our optimism and positive attitude are used to solve problems crucial, because only they help ultimately find a successful way out of many situations.

But as life has shown, sometimes this positive teaching that we try to follow misleads us, which sooner or later leads to disappointment. How does this happen?

We expect everything to always be fine

We learn to be positive for what? So that everything in life is good - of course, that’s exactly why. And so we try, work on ourselves, grow spiritually, make efforts to cope with our complexes, grievances, wrong beliefs, so that they do not interfere with the flow of positive energy in us. And at some point we suddenly really understand that we have largely achieved our goal, that we have become cleaner, freer, that we forgive and let go more easily, we wish everyone well and are full of light and warmth... And then - once, something happens some trouble in life.

The first reaction on our part is – how? for what? After all, they did everything right, they worked on themselves, they wished well to everyone, they forgave, and then suddenly it’s on you... After all, this shouldn’t happen, it’s unfair!.. And as a result, we begin to slide into resentment and indignation towards life, while finally moving away from principles of positive psychology, which completely did not live up to our hopes.

But it is clear that resentment and indignation are definitely not something you should fall into in such cases, because nothing good will ever come from them. But how can you explain this phenomenon to yourself, when you are so correct and positive, but all sorts of nonsense still happens to you?

Trouble is inevitable

And the explanation is this. Firstly, only at first glance it always seems that something happens for no reason. Of course, there is always a reason, and it, of course, always lies in us, so if it has happened, then there is no point in asking questions about justice, but we must look for what this justice consists of. Sometimes we simply don’t notice that something is happening to us, that again we have deviated from our straight line in the wrong direction, fallen into pride, or become overly fixated on something, or for many other reasons, and then this direction is needed correct.

And secondly, even if troubles or difficulties are not a response to our wrong behavior or thoughts, they always serve some other purpose - for example, they help us understand something that we would not understand without this experience and that in the end makes our life better. Or somehow renew our feelings, remind us of what we need to value in our lives, and reawaken this joy in us. And again, we ourselves need this, because feelings become dulled, sensations are erased, and this is inevitable, because that’s how people are, that’s how life is.

So no matter how wonderful and positive-minded we are, life is life, and troubles are an integral part of it - you just need to accept this thought. And they happen to everyone, to optimists and pessimists, but what is really important and affects everything is how we relate to these troubles and how we experience them. Because the point is not to get rid of these troubles once and for all, but to learn to perceive them correctly.

How to cope with adversity from a positive psychology perspective

For example, you feel a cold coming on, but it’s such a time that you can’t get sick at all - there are important things to do at work, or a once-in-a-lifetime holiday is coming up, and you don’t want to miss it, or someone close to you is already sick , so you really can’t lie down. But no, you already feel a sore throat, and your eyes are watering, and your head hurts so unbearably that you want to disconnect it from your body so that it doesn’t bother you so much...

Here you can curse everything in the world, start tearing out your hair, say to yourself with a feeling of maximum tragedy - well, I knew that some nasty thing would definitely happen and ruin everything for me. As luck would have it, the whole world is against me, now, of course, I’ll finally fall ill, I’ll get sick, nothing will work out at work, the holiday will pass without me, and how could I doubt that this will happen, because this is always what happens... And really, who would doubt that with such an attitude towards everything, this is exactly what will happen - as luck would have it.

But you can look at this differently. Because “as luck would have it” happens only because of our thoughts and attitude. And if the mood is different, then everything will go differently.

Yeah, I have a sore throat, a headache, and there are all sorts of important things that I would really like to take part in. Go make yourself some tea with honey and lemon, tea tree for your nose, woolen socks for your feet. Don’t bother yourself with unnecessary things and live, just continue to live. And then, as everything will be, so it will be. Maybe I don't need these things at work, or maybe I need to think about lowering my excessive expectations about the upcoming task. Tomorrow, too, get treatment, sleep, if it works out, but it doesn’t work out, then also slowly, little by little, without unnecessary splashes, and at the same time be sure to believe that no matter what happens, everything will be for the better.

Everything will work out if you treat it correctly

And it actually works. Either the illness subsides, or the event is postponed, or it turns out that it was really better to skip it - or whatever it may be in the end, but everything always works out somehow. And after that, you can only be surprised every time how life manages to turn everything around in such a way that a successful solution is found for any situation, no matter how clear-cut and hopeless this situation may seem initially.

So a positive attitude is not a myth and there is no need to be disappointed in it, all its principles work perfectly. It’s just that a person is positive not because everything is always good with him. But because he knows how to accept and survive, no matter what happens.

It's easy to be positive when everything is going well for you. But when something not very pleasant happens to you, and at the same time you are still able to maintain optimism and self-confidence, it always turns out to be much more beneficial or even joy in the end, and after that you always say thank you to yourself and life for that that she gave an opportunity and impetus for development, and you coped with it.

Well, as always, we have something to strive for, which is what we will do.

P.S. Friends, I would like to draw your attention to the fact that those pictures with texts that serve as the design for the article also exist in the form of intuitive cards. Intuitive cards are a psychological and esoteric tool that allows you to better hear and understand yourself, achieve spiritual harmony and grow spiritually. You can find out more about them. By clicking on the button.

Intuitive maps of E. Khutornaya

I also hasten to inform you that you can receive intuitive cards and postcards with drawings and affirmations as a GIFT if you take part in the drawing. To become a member, minimal effort is required on your part, read about it here http://e-hutornaya.ru/post/6506

Lenochka, thank you for your thoughts. It is very useful for both optimists and pessimists to read everything. I consider myself an optimist, but, like everyone else, there are different periods. I’m learning to treat your thoughts correctly. And how wonderfully you formatted the post. Wonderful wise thoughts before us, so subtly presented.

And I want to thank you again for your thoughts and for our friendship. I will share our little secrets with our readers. Not long ago I celebrated my birthday and received a package from Lena. It’s simply impossible to convey how many emotions I had. How I adore receiving something as a gift that you would never buy at every turn, when everything is collected just for you and everything is so special. And do you know what was there? Everything is sincere. And including Lena’s intuitive cards.

To be honest, I was somehow far from the topic of cards, but what I saw was completely different. My deck was called “The Wonderful Garden of My Soul.” Nice name, right? Special... So what did I do? Intuitively she pulled out 3 cards for me. Do you know what cards I was dealt? I'll share.

1 card REBIRTH. You change and everything changes. And what was impossible before becomes possible.

2 card PENETRATING WITH EACH OTHER. You feel one thing, I feel another. And this makes us twice as numerous. And our life, our love makes the world a better place.

3 card REPLENISHMENT. What goes away will come back. Joy will be balanced by experiences, sorrows and pleasures. Everything comes to harmony when you understand that this is how it should be.

These are the cards I have. We read everything with my husband, shared it with him, immediately discussed it and smiled…. You know, it’s definitely all mine, I’ll leave out the details. And Lena began to ask how she could work with them. It turns out there can be a lot of options. And so that this is not fortune telling, as is often said on tea leaves, we can ask questions, but they must be correctly formulated.

Questions could be:

• What will help me achieve my goal?
• What is stopping me from moving towards what I want?
• What will give me the necessary resource to implement my plans?
• What do I need to understand to get closer to my goal?
• What lesson does this experience teach me? What do I need to work on to solve my problem?
• What can help me in this situation?

And before asking a question, you need to formulate the task you want to work on. You can experiment with them as you please, as your heart dictates.

So I started this kind of work on myself. The parcel also contained drawings by Lena and many other joys . One drawing was drawn especially for me. How expensive all this is. Thank you, Lenochka. Your gift is unforgettable. I have already given your drawings, postcards, cards (Lena sent me two more decks of cards) to my friend. And it was also such a pleasant surprise. She talked about working with him, shared the subtleties. So all your work has already moved on. My friends in our Yaroslavl know them too.

Don't miss the chance to receive such cards, drawings as a gift, or order them from Lena. I myself love both receiving and giving gifts just for the soul, gifts that cannot be bought at every step, which are selected with love.

And at home I already have a corner with Lena’s gifts. So nice. And when something is wrong in my mood, I come up, re-read the descriptions of the drawings, panels, and a completely different state comes inside.

Russian autumn in the works of Isaac Levitan

Ecology of life: Constant attempts to “think positively” and “become the best version themselves" led people to an epidemic of depression...

Forced happiness

Danish psychologist Sven Brinkman believes that Constant attempts to “think positively” and “become the best version of ourselves” have led people to an epidemic of depression. In his opinion, it’s high time to fire coaches and start reading good fiction novels instead of self-help literature.

Alpina Publisher published it book “The end of the era of self-help: How to stop improving yourself”- he offers seven rules that will allow you to get rid of imposed positive psychology.

We are publishing an excerpt.

The tyranny of positivity

Barbara Held, a distinguished American professor of psychology, has long criticized a phenomenon she calls "tyranny of positivity".

According to her, the idea of ​​positive thinking has spread especially widely in the United States, but in many other Western countries, home-grown psychology has the idea that one should “think positively,” “focus on internal resources,” and view problems as interesting “challenges.” Even seriously ill people are expected to “learn from” their illness and, ideally, become stronger.

In countless self-help books and “suffering stories,” people with physical and mental illnesses say that they would not like to avoid a crisis because they learned so much from it.

I think many people who are seriously ill or going through some other life crisis feel pressure to be positive about the situation. But very few people say out loud that actually getting sick is terrible and it would be better if it never happened to them.

Usually the title of such books looks like this: “How I survived stress and what I learned,” and you are unlikely to find a book “How I experienced stress and nothing good came of it.” Not only do we experience stress, get sick and die, but we also have to think that all this teaches us a lot and enriches us.

If, like me, it seems to you that something is clearly wrong here, then you should learn to pay more attention to the negative and thus fight the tyranny of the positive. This will give you another support to stand firmly on your feet.

We need to reclaim the right to think that sometimes things are just bad, period.

Fortunately, many psychologists have begun to recognize this, such as critical psychologist Bruce Lewin. In his opinion, the first way health professionals make people's problems worse is by advising victims to change their attitude towards the situation.“Just look at it positively!” is one of the worst phrases you can say to someone in trouble.By the way, tenth on Levin’s list is “depoliticization of human suffering.” This means that all kinds of human problems are attributed more to people's shortcomings (low motivation, pessimism, etc.) than to external circumstances.

Positive psychology

As already mentioned, Barbara Held is one of the most vocal critics of positive psychology. This area of ​​research began to develop rapidly in the late nineties.

Positive psychology can be seen as the scientific reflection of the obsession with positivity in modern culture. Its prosperity began in 1998, when Martin Seligman became president of the American Psychological Association. Before this, he was known mainly for his theory of learned helplessness as a factor in depression.

Learned helplessness is a state of apathy, or at least a lack of will to change a painful experience, even when it is possible to avoid the pain.

The basis for this theory was experiments in which dogs were beaten electric shock. When Seligman got tired of torturing animals (which is understandable) and wanted something more life-affirming, he turned to positive psychology.

Positive psychology no longer puts human problems and suffering at the center of attention, which was characteristic of this science before (Seligman sometimes calls ordinary psychology “negative”). Rather, it's research good aspects of life and human nature. In particular, the question of what happiness is, how to achieve it, and what positive character traits exist is considered.

After becoming president of the association, Seligman used his position to promote positive psychology. He succeeded so well that now there are even separate training programs, centers and scientific journals dedicated to this topic. Few - if any - concepts in psychology have spread so rapidly and widely to the masses.

That positive psychology has so quickly become part of the culture of acceleration and a tool for optimization and development is thought-provoking.

Of course, it is completely normal to study the factors that make our lives better and increase our performance. However, in the hands of trainers and coaches - or inspired leaders who have undergone short courses on “positive leadership”, - positive psychology is quickly becoming a convenient tool for suppressing criticism.

Sociologist Rasmus Villig even talks about positive fascism, which, in his opinion, manifests itself in both positive thinking and the concept of a positive approach to change. This concept describes a form of mind control that occurs when a person is allowed to think about life only in a positive way.

In my own way personal experience I can add that my most negative experience in conducting scientific discussions is undoubtedly associated with positive psychology. A couple of years ago I spoke critically about positive psychology in a women's magazine and newspaper, and the reaction was quite violent and unexpected.

Three Danish experts who are professionally involved in positive psychology (and whose names I will not mention here) accused me of “scientific dishonesty” and sent a complaint to the leadership of my university. The charge of scientific dishonesty is the most serious charge that exists in the scientific system.

The complaint stated that I portrayed positive psychology in a decidedly bad light and deliberately confused the field of research with practical application.

Fortunately, the university categorically rejected the complaint, but this reaction bothered me greatly. Instead of writing a letter to the editor and engaging in open discussion, positive psychologists decided to denigrate me as a professional to the university administration.

I mention this incident because I see some irony in the fact that positive psychologists so actively avoid open scientific discussion. Apparently, there are still limits to openness and a positive approach!

(Fortunately, I hasten to add, not all positive psychologists behave this way.)

Paradoxically,this incident confirmed my idea of ​​the tyranny of positivity. Negativity and criticism (especially of positive psychology itself!) must be eradicated. Obviously, any means are good here.

Positive, constructive, receptive leader

If you have ever been exposed to positive psychology (for example, at school, at work, at staff development events) and were asked to talk about successes when you wanted to discuss an annoying problem, then you may have felt awkward, although didn't understand why. Who doesn’t want to be a productive and competent specialist and develop further? In any case, modern managers willingly evaluate and encourage their subordinates. […]

The modern leader no longer acts as a tough and strong authority who gives orders and makes decisions. He practices a form of soft power by “inviting” employees to talk about “success” in order to “achieve maximum enjoyment at work.”

Forget that there is still a clear asymmetry of power between management and subordinates, and some goals are much more realistic than others.

For example, recently at my (otherwise wonderful) job they asked me to formulate a “vision” for the development of our institute. When I said that we should strive to become a medium-sized institution, there was no excitement. I meant that this is a realistic and achievable goal for a small university in a Danish province.

But now everything has to be “world class” or in the “top 5”, and the path there is undoubtedly only accessible to those who are focused on opportunity and success. This can be called forced positivity.Only the best will do, and to achieve it, you just need to not be afraid to dream and think positively.

Blaming the victim

As critics of forced positivity, including the aforementioned Barbara Held, argue, over-focusing on the positive can lead to a phenomenon called “victim blaming”.

This means that all kinds of human suffering or troubles are explained by the fact that a person is not optimistic and positive enough about life, or that he does not have enough “positive illusions”, which are advocated by some psychologists, including Seligman.

Positive illusions- these are a person’s internal ideas about himself, slightly distorted in better side.

That is, a person considers himself a little smarter, more capable and more effective than he actually is. The research, although not entirely clear, suggests that people who suffer from depression actually view themselves more realistically than those who do not suffer from depression.

However, there are concerns that because of the positivity approach, society demands people to be positive and happy, and this paradoxically creates suffering as many feel guilty if they are not always happy and successful. […]

“Life is difficult, but that in itself is not a problem. The problem is that we are made to think that life is not difficult.”

Another reason for criticism, which is nevertheless related to the previous one, is downplaying the role of context, which is characteristic of some aspects of the positive approach. If it is argued that a person’s happiness does not depend on external factors (socio-economic status, etc.), which supposedly play a very insignificant role, but on internal ones, then it is your own fault if you are unhappy.

As Seligman writes in his bestseller “The Pursuit of Happiness,” only 8–15% of the level of happiness is determined by external circumstances - for example, whether a person lives in a democracy or a dictatorship, whether he is rich or poor, healthy or sick, educated or not.

The most important source of happiness, Seligman argues, lies in “ internal factors”, which are amenable to “conscious control”.

For example, you can create positive feelings, gratitude, forgive offenders, be optimistic and, of course, rely on your key strengths that every person has.

It turns out that in order to become happy, you need to find your strengths, realize them and develop positive feelings in yourself. The emphasis on “innerness”, which is supposedly subject to conscious control, leads to the problematic ideology that one must simply keep up and evolve—specifically, develop the capacity for positive thinking—in order to survive in a culture of acceleration.

Grumbling

Barbara Held offers an alternative to forced positivity - complaints . She even wrote a book where she talks about how to learn to grumble. It's like self-help literature for complainers. The book is called Stop Smiling, Start Kvetching.

“Kvetch” is a Yiddish word, and it is most accurately translated as “grumbling.”

I'm no expert on Jewish culture (most of my knowledge of it comes from Woody Allen films), but I think the tradition of complaining about anything and everything contributes to happiness and contentment. How nice it is to get together and grumble! This provides extensive topics for conversation and a certain sense of solidarity.

The main idea of ​​Held's book is that Everything in life is never absolutely good. Sometimes things just aren't that bad. This means there will always be reasons for complaints.

Real estate prices are falling - one can complain about the depreciation of capital. If real estate prices are rising, you can complain about how superficially everyone around you discusses your growing capital.

Life is difficult, but according to Held, that in itself is not a problem. The problem is that we are made to think that life is not difficult. When asked how we are, we are expected to say, “Everything is great!” Although in reality everything is very bad, because your husband cheated on you.

By learning to focus on the negative—and complain about it—you can develop a mechanism that helps make life more bearable.

However, grumbling is not only a way to cope with difficult situations.The freedom to complain comes with the ability to face reality and accept it as it is.This gives us human dignity, in contrast to the behavior of the ever-positive man who vehemently insists that there is no such thing as bad weather (only bad clothes). It happens, Mr. Lucky. And how nice it is to complain about the weather while sitting at home with a mug of hot tea!

We need to take back our right to grumble, even if it doesn't lead to positive change. But if it can lead to them, then all the more important.

And note that grumbling is always directed outward. We complain about the weather, the politicians, the football team. It's not us who are to blame, it's them! A positive approach, on the contrary, is directed inward - if something is wrong, you need to work on yourself and your motivation. We have ourselves to blame for everything.

Unemployed people should not complain about the social assistance system - otherwise they can be considered lazy - because they can simply pull themselves together, start thinking positively and find a job.

You just have to “believe in yourself” - but this is a one-sided approach that reduces the most important social, political and economic problems to a question of the motivation and positivity of the individual. […] published . If you have any questions about this topic, ask them to the experts and readers of our project .

© Sven Brinkman

Positive psychology - this is one of the branches of knowledge of human psychology that appeared in the late 90s of the last century. The main goal of this section is to find optimal conditions for a prosperous life and prosperity of both the individual and the community. Although this has been discussed before, the founder of positive psychology is still considered. After reading this article, you will learn the main aspects that will help you feel like a happy person.

Positive psychology: what is it?

The very word “positive” in this phrase speaks volumes. This is one that tries to answer the age-old question: “How to become happy?” It is well known that happiness is a flexible concept: one sees joy in love, another sees joy in money, and for a third, a chocolate bar and interesting novel to feel satisfied. This is precisely what positive psychology is designed to discover for everyone.

The new industry is completely built on the life-affirming human reserve; this approach is very different from official science. At an appointment with an ordinary psychologist, a person will find out what the cause of his misfortunes lies. Positive psychology looks at the problem from a completely different point of view. Main task- find, reveal and teach him to use them to his advantage. If a person concentrates on developing his nature, he can easily overcome all his depression and stress.

Historical background

Previously, the word “psychology” was associated with the treatment of people who had behavioral disorders and suffered from various mental illnesses.

Already in the 50s of the last century, a theory began to develop among thinkers and philosophers, focusing on the positive aspects of human nature and, accordingly, on happiness. Particularly distinguished were: E. Fromm, K. Rogers and A. Maslow.

The year 1998 was a turning point in the history of psychology. President American Association M. Seligman became psychologists. Positive psychology became his main topic of development and study. Subsequently, he organized and conducted International conference and a world congress dedicated to this topic.

What's the benefit?

This branch of psychology can completely change a person’s worldview. A person who practices the cheerful aspects of cognition begins to perceive the world differently. His worldview and beliefs change radically.

The teaching of this branch of science makes it clear that everything that happens first originates in thoughts and then is realized. Each person is personally responsible for their own happiness, so happy events can be easily designed.

Such beliefs are easily accessible and understandable to any person, they can be easily tested in practice by experimenting with your thoughts. This teaching is becoming more and more popular every day, because the motto: “positive in thoughts means positive in life” works.

Basics of teaching

Psychotherapy, work issues, self-help, education, stress management includes positive psychology. Seligman has proven that applying the fundamentals of positive thinking can motivate people to develop their best skills and character traits.

It is only important to understand that ignoring problems is not an option. The application greatly expands and complements the methods for solving problem situations.

Here are examples of some insights taken from positive psychology:

1. Each person is responsible for whether he is happy or not.
2. The best way to overcome your disappointments is to develop your strengths.
3. Work is an important factor in well-being. A person who is involved in work always feels important and happy.
4. Money doesn't make you happy, but shopping for other people can make you and them a lot happier.
5. Developing optimism, altruism and the ability to give thanks will help you feel happy.

How to enjoy life

More positive! This is the motto of a person who practices this teaching. Special phrases - affirmations - help you to constantly be in a good mood, believe in yourself and achieve your goals.

Positive psychology experts advise choosing a few phrases for yourself that will help you tune in to a positive outcome of the problem that worries you. These could be phrases such as: “I easily find a way out of any situation,” “I’m great,” “all my problems are solvable,” “I’m the best in this world,” “I’m happy with myself.”

The phrases that best suit your situation should be written down on a piece of paper. Then you need to repeat them out loud or silently until you internally believe that everything is really so.

If you start thinking positively, you will eventually become a witness wonderful changes in your life: you will have good mood, you will learn to see beauty even in the smallest manifestations, and self-confidence will help you cope with any problem.

These are the miracles positive psychology can work! Books on this topic will help you learn more about how to improve and become happy.

Methods to achieve inner harmony many, but positive psychology is considered the most understandable and effective. Case studies identified a simple formula for happiness that underlies the method. Every person can achieve personal happiness by following simple rules. They will not solve financial problems, will not add material wealth, but will help change your worldview. By starting to change himself, a person achieves unprecedented success in everything.

What do we know about positive psychology?

A technique called positive psychology is a direction developed by Martin Seligman, an American psychologist. Based on the works of his predecessors (Abraham Maslow, Carl Rogers), he was able to form a new view in terms of personal happiness. He did this through experiments, observations, and also by analyzing numerous real cases encountered in practice.

Learned helplessness

Seligman's experiment clearly shows the essence of the direction. He worked with dogs. Having divided them into three groups, he created certain conditions for each. The first group received a stimulus in the form of a weak electrical discharge at certain intervals. The dogs of the second group also received a shock, but they could control the situation: by pressing a special button, they canceled the impulse. The third group of dogs did not receive current pulses.

After all the dogs had developed the reflex, Seligman put them in one box and again began giving electrical impulses. The dogs from the second and third groups immediately jumped out, but the first group continued to endure. The psychologist concluded that constant exposure to negative factors without the ability to control the situation leads to the cessation of attempts to influence unpleasant conditions environment. He called this finding “learned helplessness.”

Conscious Optimism

Observations of people who have different experiences of controlling the same situation confirmed the correctness of Seligman’s conclusions. People try to change something if previously unfavorable conditions were beyond their control. They got used to being patient.

Some people have been brought up in a positive way since childhood: they do not dwell on problems, pay more attention to happy moments, and readily face difficulties. For those who have not received an adequate upbringing, all this is much more difficult or not given at all. However, those people who managed to change their thinking, direct it in an optimistic direction and learn to see the positive even in the most difficult situations, were able to change their behavior and find new solutions to difficult issues for themselves.

Paradigm of modern psychology

How are Martin Seligman's experiences and observations related to positive psychology? Classical science works mainly with problems and their consequences: diseases, pathologies of behavior, worldview. Positive psychology is aimed at studying the factors that make a person happy. The experiment with dogs clearly showed that without changing the attitude towards the world around, the way of looking at situations and events, problems will appear again. This leads to endless appeals to specialists, constant study of each specific situation without generalization.

Those who are ready to change their concept of perceiving the world ultimately become happier, calmer, and richer than others. Positive thinking inevitably leads to improved health, establishing connections with society, and finding non-trivial solutions.

Modern science is increasingly paying close attention not to problems, but to positive aspects. Adaptive and creative methods of cognition are used, the client is transformed from a “victim” into a “hero” who lives consciously. Its strengths are taken as a basis, positive qualities without considering weaknesses and working through only problems.

Positive psychology - the science of what makes a person happy.

Positive Psychology: Concept and Impact on Human Life

The main objectives of positive psychology are formulated as follows:

• studying positive aspects life, what makes a person happy and peaceful: meetings with loved ones, the joy of surprises, beautiful landscapes. The objects of study are entirely pleasant: contentment, well-being, joy, happiness;
• definition strengths the personality itself: what makes him simply a good person. Perhaps it is determination, the ability to empathize, love, support, hard work, courage, desire to communicate, attitude towards people around;
• image formation successful person: how he manages emotions, in what ways he achieves goals, how he shows his love. Thanks to what moments from his life does he become the one about whom they say “this good man”, and with whom they want to maintain a relationship.

Positive psychology - the science of the art of consciously living in harmony with the world around us.

Positive Psychology Methods

Despite the novelty of this area of ​​work with personality, positive psychologists already have many techniques in their arsenal.

Visualization

Not everyone can accurately answer the question of what they lack to feel happy. Client positive psychologist learns to visualize your desires, think about them, and understand them. For this, a wish map is actively used: a set of images of what you really want to get. As a result, over time, many desires are fulfilled, and the person is happy from achieving his goals. It looks like magic and has nothing to do with science. However, the method is based on the systematic replacement of negative irrational attitudes to positive. The client begins to feel confident in his abilities: I can do it, I will get there, I see how to do better. Confidence in your abilities helps you look at life more simply and optimistically, and understand your goals more clearly.

Bracelets method

The basis is the statement that a person needs exactly 21 days to develop a habit. For control, it is proposed to put a bracelet on your hand at the moment when you decide to change something. If a person breaks down, he changes the bracelet to the other hand and again goes to achieve the goal. Some sources specify that the bracelet must certainly be red or wicker - all this is just to create an environment to enhance the effect. And the effect is simple: the client eventually realizes that everything is in his hands. He really has the power to change his life for the better. “I can handle it,” “I can,” “I’m a good person” - these are the positive attitudes that are born instead of the destructive “I’m lazy, I’ll never be able to do this!”

Fairy tale therapy

Soft solution method psychological problems in children and adults. Epics, legends, fairy tales, parables help you better understand yourself and look at the problem from the outside. Fairytale therapy reveals scenarios according to which a person builds his life, corrects negative ideas, reduces anxiety, and helps to predict the end point of the path and attitude towards it.

These are the most famous methods of positive psychology.

Positive psychology is a great way to change your life for the better

The goal pursued is to replace existing attitudes in the human mind with new, positive, optimistic ones. As a result, the worldview is built according to a new scenario.

Key thoughts of the new life:

• everything in the world happens for real reasons;
• there is no injustice. The world is fair and generous to everyone;
• there will be enough necessary resources for everyone, there will be a place for everyone in the sun;
• the world has no favorites, darlings or outsiders: everyone is equal before reality;
• life is the highest value;
• for everything that happens to a person, he himself is responsible;
• everything changes, everything can be changed on your own.

Conclusions from positive psychology:

• a person is responsible for his own happiness. No one is to blame for his problems;
• developing your strengths is the way to overcome disappointments;
• favorite activity - best way feel needed by the world;
• awareness in behavior, communication, habits is the key to high self-esteem;
• Happiness comes from the habits of giving thanks, giving love, and believing in the best.

By instilling such a position in oneself, a person gains the strength to live, interest in the world, and healthy curiosity. Understanding your role in the world gives you happiness, peace of mind and easy awakenings in the morning.

Criticism of positive psychology

The apparent ease of the teaching of conscious optimism has its dark side. Not everyone can change their minds without the help of specialists. According to positive psychology critic Professor Barbara Held, this teaching is nothing less than the “tyranny of positivity.” Most find themselves in a trap: on the outside they have to show love and curiosity, but a million unresolved problems inside do not find a way out, destroying the personality psychologically and physically. The result is a huge number of smiles and the same number of suicides.

We have the right to think bad things, Held argues. The worst advice to a person experiencing suffering is to “think positively!” Not everything always depends only on the relationship between the individual and the environment.

In order not to blur the line between objective reality and one’s own negative attitudes, seek help from specialists if you want to become an optimist. Only under the supervision of a psychologist (for example,