To find inner freedom It is very important to learn to freely express your feelings and emotions. Don't be shy to laugh if you're having fun, give yourself permission to get angry if you're annoyed! And don't be afraid that you will be misunderstood.

Getting rid of doubts

In a difficult situation we often cannot find the right decision because we feel constrained and confused. Because we don’t know how to influence this situation. We doubt which of these actions will be correct. The key to unlocking the first lock is the freedom to express your feelings and emotions. It makes no sense to figure out whether they are correct or not, especially since most often there is no time for this. There is a feeling - it must be expressed. Thinking about what and how best to say, you will miss the time, and therefore the moment when your opinion would be relevant. Meanwhile, you will still have a charge of emotions. And you will be tormented for several more days: “If I had spoken out, how would everything have been resolved?”

Getting rid of fear

Usually, when assessing our own strengths and the strengths of our interlocutor (relatively, the enemy), we tend to underestimate our capabilities. The enemy must look very frail so that it is not scary to contact him. It’s even more scary if we somehow depend on this person, and expressing our dissatisfaction to him turns out to be an impossible task - no matter what happens. It is important to express complaints as they accumulate - calmly and to the end. Try to overcome your fear. Long-held discontent will one day spill out anyway, but perhaps on a completely innocent person. Often it is our family who suffer from our cowardice.

Getting rid of guilt

On the one hand, this is a very important feeling, thanks to which we realize the line between good and evil. It helps us understand other people better.
But, if we do not know how to cope with our feelings of guilt, and it becomes too much, then it turns into unbearable shackles. It can control your thoughts and actions until you squeeze it into a box and send it into retirement. The most unpleasant thing is that it always “catches up” after the situation has gotten out of control. It will confuse your thoughts and give you no peace until you realize its nature. Accept yourself for who you are.
You and only you are your closest, most best friend. For many, the expression “loving yourself” is difficult and incomprehensible. Therefore, try to apply more accessible concepts - “take care of yourself” and “treat yourself in a friendly way.” Make fun of yourself sometimes - a cheerful friend never hurts, and in general, laughter is the best cure for adversity, wounded pride and stupid situation. Feelings require their own experience - you need to give them a little time and smooth them out.

Getting rid of inhibitions

We were once taught that being angry is not good. We should only please our parents and others. But at the same time, no one taught us what to do with the negativity that, like it or not, accumulates inside. And what do we have with age? Huge luggage negative emotions, which we are used to hiding in our memory bag. And this baggage torments our body high pressure, stomach problems, nervous breakdowns. What prevents us from releasing and forgetting all the negativity is... childhood prohibitions. And it is very important to allow yourself to be angry. Get angry at full force, and then make fun of these emotions.

Ecology of life: How much can a person afford without falling out of the loop? Since all people are different, their opinions differ from each other...

Every person in public and family life has rights and responsibilities.

But in reality there is some distortion: responsibilities we are forced to perform, willingly or unwillingly. A sense of duty, control by “competent authorities” and self-control keep us within strict limits.

A with rights It's not that simple. On the one hand, our internal subjective desire – on the other hand, fear: is it possible? what will others say? What if not everyone likes it?

So what? Should I live my whole life like this, entangled in nets?

How much can a person afford without falling out of the loop? Let's think together.

Each of us has the right to our personal opinion.

Since all people are different, their opinions differ from each other, as well as desires, tastes, and needs. A child's opinion may be erroneous due to a lack of life experience, his desire may be untimely, but one cannot ignore them. By ignoring the child’s opinion, parents miss the opportunity to create an atmosphere of mutual understanding and cooperation in the family, to create a sense of a single team, where each participant is self-valued, respected and significant. Is it any wonder at the protest mood of a teenager, at his desire to act contrary to the opinion of adults, both parents and teachers?

Each of us has the right to decide at our own discretion what and how to do, what to feel.

If you were unfairly offended at work and you became indignant, saying a lot of unnecessary things in the heat of the moment, and in the evening you take your anger out on your loved ones - can you understand yourself? justify? support? Of course you have the right.

Why, in a similar situation, do you not recognize the same right for your child? Why are you scolding him? cite “model” children as examples?

You are wrong to quarrel; he is wrong if he starts a fight - you will bear responsibility for your incontinence, that’s all. Why poison the atmosphere in the family?

Each of us has the right to make mistakes.

​After all, a wrong action is just as useful an experience as a right one. Therefore, you should not dramatize any mistake of the child - it is not worth it. Otherwise, you may receive lies in response as a defensive reaction.

All people have weaknesses. We are not perfect. There is no need to demand a mandatory apology. There is no need to force the child to feel guilty.

Each of us has the right not to feel guilty for our actions.

​ If the feeling of guilt for some unseemly act is your own decision, then we are talking about your relationship with your own conscience. But if your feeling of guilt shapes public opinion, if your colleagues and neighbors don’t like your behavior, you have the right to decide whether to pay attention to it or not.

In a family, quite often one of the household members experiences a feeling of guilt: he said the wrong thing, put it in the wrong way, oversalted it, didn’t buy bread... But you can live without feeling guilty. If parents and their child have one soul for three, they will always understand each other and will not judge each other. It's easier for the three of us to survive any challenges in life. And when parents are primarily concerned about “what people will say,” they end up with their child in different sides barricades.

Each of us has the right to change our beliefs and ideas.

Probably, we all have moments in our lives when our usual style of behavior, our usual train of thoughts become the cause of unpleasant situations. Circumstances change - and we need to change something. Our child is a representative of a new time, and it is not possible to raise him the way our parents did with us. Don't be afraid of changes in your character. We raise our children, and children raise us: they help us unlock the potential inherent in Nature; to give the opportunity to new feelings and thoughts to manifest themselves in our soul.

Each of us has the right not to allow ourselves to be manipulated by others.

These manipulations begin from childhood: eat this, wear that, don’t be friends with that - it’s better with this, sign up for such a section. And in the end, go to this university, marry...

Our parents and then our spouses decide everything for us. An infantile person is quite happy with this model of existence, but for a mature person it’s like a straitjacket. So take advantage of the right to build a life of your own choice. You are not a puppet! Form the same concept in your children.

We can all live in mutual understanding and harmony. By respecting our rights and the rights of others to self-determination and self-expression, we gain inner freedom. published

I wrote about the main sources of unfreedom. Many such sources have been found and, characteristically, one of them is our desire to make life better, more harmonious, freer. In this article I will try to find the path to gaining inner freedom, to the extent that it is generally accessible to a person.

First of all, let us give a more or less working definition of internal freedom.

Inner freedom is a state of a person in which his thoughts, desires and actions depend primarily on himself, and external pressure like public opinion first, it is properly realized and analyzed from the perspective of the person himself.

Simply put, internal freedom is when a person thinks and does what he really wants (in extreme cases, what real circumstances push him to, but not other people’s opinions and ideas). And - an important addition! — at the same time, a person should feel comfortable. Children also know how to “do their own thing” - with screaming and crying. No, an internally free person, acting in his own way, is not tormented and has no doubts.

Well, now to the main thing. How can you still find inner freedom?

I'm tempted to write something like:

“So, it’s simple! You first need to figure out your true goals and think hard and force yourself to change your attitude towards the world: so that you look at everything from the standpoint of reason, do only what you really need, sweep aside social stereotypes to hell with everything approach with a cynical grin and an adding machine.”

And this would really be the right advice. Moreover, the advice is universal; the above paragraph is a brief, but containing all the necessary instructions for self-development FOR YEARS.

But today we are talking exclusively about internal freedom, trying to look at self-development from this point of view, forgetting about others (this, in fact, is the benefit of numerous psychological concepts that often intersect with each other, such as: self-esteem, etc. )

Therefore, I will offer a special option for gaining inner freedom (one might say, a liberation program). We will squeeze the slave out of ourselves like this:

1. Determine what exactly makes you dependent and unfree to the greatest extent. A small list of possible sources is available at. But after thinking for five minutes, you can easily find the main enemy of your freedom on your own. This could be your company or colleagues at work, a family member who regularly reads morals to you (the most common cases). It could also be something more exotic - an idol-authority in any field, stereotypes instilled by a “guru,” even a favorite book, movie (hey, “The Secret” fans!) or an aphorism.

2. Now we eradicate the influence of this factor. How do we eradicate it? We simply think about everything that we hear (or perceive differently) from this source. We think about it, analyze it, find contradictions and (especially important) inconsistencies with your inner world. This step is not that difficult. The main thing here is to learn to perceive not in the background, but actively, thinking about it. This skill may take some time to develop.

As a result, you will receive a small sip of freedom - freedom from the chosen source of unfreedom (it’s a clumsy word, but what can you do). Freedom does not mean complete denial. Freedom - I emphasize - means a reasonable choice. That is, you will continue to listen to your colleague who teaches you about life, but his speeches will only have the meaning that you choose YOURSELF, in accordance with your goals and desires. It won't annoy you. You can prevent this from happening in your life at all. Or - allow it, enrich it and use it to your advantage.

(By the way. When you achieve this goal, you feel a powerful uplift and inspiration, an exciting feeling of freedom and power over yourself. It’s worth a try at least for the sake of it)

3. (can be done simultaneously with step 2) You keep a diary, right? No? It's a shame, it's not bad. Then start it for at least a week. Write your thoughts and deeds there without any embarrassment, the more detailed, the better. Write for yourself, regardless of correct formatting, beautiful handwriting and spelling. Feel free to write down your most delusional and insignificant thoughts.

At the end of the week, take a red pencil (or the highlighter tool in Word) and re-read your writing. We are looking for thoughts, actions and words that indicate our lack of freedom. We analyze each case, asking ourselves “what is the right thing to do?”
Treat it lightly, like a game. It’s good to do such exercises together with a person you trust, helping each other.

4. Next week, we catch thoughts and deeds marked by lack of freedom in the process - and try to improve. It's not that difficult. - because the main “cockroaches” are repeated day after day. If you still encounter difficulties, repeat the previous step.

With 4 steps, after some time you should:
a) get rid of one of the most harmful sources of internal unfreedom
b) learn to analyze yourself and your behavior, fight manifestations of lack of freedom
c) solve some of your problems and develop some useful qualities

Now to consolidate the effect, you can do two more things:

5. Do the same with the day as with the week (you can even draw a sign by the hour: what you did, thought, said, what was wrong, what you should do. The point here is to concentrate on the little things. This allows you not only to enhance the effect, but also to discover new horizons: little things help to identify or anticipate more important things.

6. And finally, I recommend changing your environment and social circle for a while. Go on vacation, for example. This allows you to “shade” your achievements (from a distance things are often clearer and clearer). And the new environment will also help you practice countering new sources of unfreedom, which are easier to fight than old ones. Well, just take a break from the labors of the righteous in the field of self-development))))

Have you ever thought about who In fact Does your state of inner freedom depend?

ABOUT! I can already hear your immediate response: “Of course, from me, from whom else?”

But wait, let’s take our time and calmly figure it out...

If you ask a person a question directly: "Do you feel inner freedom?" As a rule, there is a pause in the air, and then the brain begins to search for an answer, and the person tries to explain to himself that, of course, he is free. And then a certain logical chain is built: I am free because I can do this, I can do that, and so on.

For example, how did you react to this question? Did you manage to track it?

What is this inner freedom?

Inner freedom is a state in which, under any circumstances, we are free to choose what makes us feel good.

True, O Rovo?

Living in a state of inner freedom, we can always, under any circumstances, choose what we like, what suits us!

But it's a trap and lies in the fact that the mirror of our inner freedom is relationships with other people.

For example, if your mood is spoiled by the fact that your husband (wife), boss, girlfriend, saleswoman from the nearest supermarket or the neighbor from the second entrance looked at you somehow differently, then you can be sure that you will definitely have inner freedom not enough.

Because if you depend on the mood and actions of other people, then what depends on you?

What then can you freely choose and feel good about it?

Can you choose another person's mood?

An absurd question, isn't it?

Of course, you can only choose your own mood!

But what to do, if, nevertheless, the emotions of other people strongly touch you, and you are angry and offended by them or blame yourself for indecisiveness, aggression, inability to refuse or respond with dignity?

There is only one answer: first you need to free your soul from the captivity of negative experiences that limit internal freedom and the ability to openly and sincerely communicate with other people.

In the first block of the new training, you will master a system of exercises that will help you free yourself, already during the training process, from the most haunting experiences that have roots in deep childhood. And immediately begin to generate within yourself a resourceful state of internal freedom and vital energy necessary to realize your goals. This is what we will do in the 2nd and 3rd blocks of the new training. Get ready! Yes, yes, you will actively realize your goals during the training process!

So, the state of inner freedom is the foundation of all other positive experiences: love, happiness, harmony, confidence, activity, vital energy.

It is important to answer the question: Why do you need internal freedom?

Imagine that you are internally free, what will you do then, what will change first in your life?

If you cannot answer this question for yourself, then there is no point in working on gaining inner freedom. And your desires to be free will remain just another abstraction of your life, which you will only dream about, but in fact you will simply seek confirmation that this is impossible for you...

Answer the question right now:“Why do you need a state of inner freedom?”

Start your answer with: "In order to..." And try to answer as specifically as possible.

Answer: "To enjoy life" good, but what exactly are you implementing that will change when you start enjoying life? Remember! More specifics!

First, answer yourself, and then read the proposed options with which you can supplement your answers... This is important!

So here are my answers:

• In order to see more opportunities for realizing abilities, talents, potential.
• In order to adequately perceive reality, and not through the prism of habitual reactions, stereotypes and beliefs instilled in childhood by parents and society.
• In order to realize life purpose and boldly move along the path of life.
• In order to go about your business, setting goals and achieving them without destructive stress, with pleasure and enthusiasm.
• In order not to depend on the opinions of other people, but to independently make your own important decisions.
• In order to create harmonious relationships with loved ones based on respect, love and mutual understanding.
• In order to help your children adapt to adulthood by your own example, even if you unknowingly caused them pain with your upbringing... It’s never too late to correct mistakes!
• In order to abandon destructive relationships... Yes, yes, and this is also important!
• In order to communicate with people openly and sincerely and choose an environment of like-minded people, relationships with whom inspire and enrich mentally and spiritually.
• In order to live according to our own script, which we can write again, since that is exactly what we want to happen in our lives.
• In order to feel the strength to live, create, love, give joy and inspiration to the people around you and the world.

What is real freedom? This is, first of all, internal freedom, which gives an extraordinary perception of life and the surrounding reality. To become internally a free man, we need to take off our psychological masks, which we are used to changing like gloves, and gain freedom from our own past and all the negativity in it.

This often happens - a person is confused in himself, wants to understand his feelings, but does not know how. Perhaps he wants to find his true self, to become internally free, but some unknown burden prevents him from gaining this freedom, spreading his wings and living without the oppression of negative emotions, fears, doubts and eternal uncertainty about the future.

First of all, what hinders a person is his psychological masks, which he is used to wearing throughout life, changing depending on the situation. Each mask corresponds to a specific role of a person, the image that he tries to maintain. What a person is like in the family, at work, on stage, in society, in a store or when he is just walking down the street. At home, we can wear the masks of exemplary family men or, on the contrary, grumpy and grumpy house builders. At the same time, the same person can be exceptionally polite and tactful at work, helpful to superiors and coo affectionately with work colleagues. In any public place he will try to be the center of attention. And alone with yourself - to be thoughtful, gloomy and self-critical.

The masks we change

Everyone can have many psychological masks. All of them gradually accumulate throughout life as a result of certain events when we were hurt, unpleasant, when we were humiliated, criticized, rejected and deprived of attention. A mask is our defensive reaction, an outer shell behind which we hide from our true emotions, from our inner suffering world. At the same time, psychological masks are the product of everything that we have accumulated within ourselves, all our convictions, beliefs, adopted meanings, rules, parental attitudes, our uncryed tears, unexpressed grievances, fears, complexes and suppressed emotions.

To find out what it is - real life First of all, a person needs to know his true self. From early childhood, especially if it was unhappy, if the parents tried hard and laid a huge number of complexes in their child, instilled a feeling of guilt, paid him little attention and love, taught him to lead a “double” life: to express outer obedience and submission, suppressing this is his protest and indignation, a person gets used to the split self, to feel one thing inside and not dare to express it and show your true self.

The pressure of demands, constant suggestions and demonstrations that we are worth little on our own, that love must be earned by good behavior and obedience, leads to the fact that most people grow up with the firm conviction that it is safer to hide their emotions inside and adapt to external circumstances. or otherwise. It becomes a habit to experience everything within yourself. Over time, there are more and more roles and all a person has time to do is change masks and adapt to external circumstances.

How to become free

The mental burden subsequently does not allow one to abandon one’s roles and masks. It is he who prevents you from feeling real inner freedom- freedom to be yourself. People grow accustomed to their masks, images, and get used to living under the yoke of their own and those adopted from others beliefs, rules, and patterns of behavior. For modern society it is characteristic to “seem” and not “to be.” And a person cannot feel real inner freedom while his mental burden presses on him.

True inner freedom is, of course, not permissiveness. The absence of rules and the rejection of dogmas, rules and false beliefs does not mean at all that you need to go over your head, rubbing everything and everyone in your path. It's about about freedom from everything unnecessary to a person. After all, all his mental baggage (all thoughts and conclusions, attitudes and rules), all the pain of the past and the negativity held inside - all this is the result of past events, grievances, shocks and lack of attention, stored in the subconscious. But this is not the person himself. Our real feelings and the real us are hidden behind our masks, our mental burden, which force us to act, show emotions, react and express ourselves “automatically”.

We act in one way or another, we think, we feel aggression, feelings of guilt, we fall into depression, apathy and laziness, we are jealous, we feel envy and anger, not because we are like that and nothing can be done about it, but because it sits inside us a lot of disparate personalities, a huge amount of charged material that makes us express ourselves this way.

To gain inner freedom, freedom from the past and everything that we have accumulated in our subconscious as a result is necessary. Freedom from mental burden, from everything false that we have adopted, all absorbed beliefs and meanings, from our psychological masks. This is the only way to achieve internal integrity so that parts of our personality stop fighting inside, so that the “automatic machines” of reaction and emotional experiences, manifestations of our fears, stop working. Through gaining this inner freedom, a person is able to experience a new perception of himself and the world around him.

And already in this new state, he will not only perceive himself differently, but also show himself to others differently. Respect for someone else's right to self-determination, someone else's right to choose begins to be felt by a person who, having freed himself from his mental baggage, understands that he himself initially had these rights. That is why real inner freedom is not permissiveness, it is a new state, a new sense of self, which is difficult to fully describe verbally, it can only be felt. Turbo gopher system may be useful in this endeavor. Free flights!

The information in this article is the result personal experience its author, all articles are written based on their own results of using the system and are not intended to convince anyone of anything.

This site is a personal initiative of its author and has no relation to the author of the Turbo-Suslik technique, Dmitry Leushkin.