You may be head over heels in love at first sight. Or your feelings grew over time. One thing is for sure: you have what everyone is looking for, but rarely finds - a favorite job. And you are about to leave it.

How can this be?

You have a great job at a great company. It's not about her, it's about you. And this is not a momentary temptation. You've been thinking about leaving for quite some time. Even if you regret it, you must leave. The time has come.

"In the end, it's better to leave at will“, you repeat to yourself. As long as you have options. You are too young to take comfort and friendliness for granted, and you have seen what happens to those who relax. One day they are unceremoniously thrown out in favor of a new talented employee. Or their love gradually turns into complacency, and they begin to work for show. No, you will not allow something like this to happen and destroy the memory of great love.

This is love, admit it to yourself. 100 years ago Sigmund Freud said that for full life you need to love and work. Looks like we should love to work today. Respect, security and money are no longer enough for us. We want to experience passion, fulfillment, surprise. In a word, we need romance.

Organizations are taking this desire seriously and doing everything they can to win us over. They no longer attract talent solely through financial rewards. Their job advertisements promise that we will find meaning in life. We will grow up. We will be part of the community and help change the world. If we're lucky, we'll even have a good salary. How can you not love it?

Scientists have been studying how organizations win us over for decades. This is called identification. We fall in love with companies that not only reward our efforts with good benefits packages, but also make us better people.

When we identify with an organization, we become what we do. Our thoughts about ourselves include the values ​​of the organization. If I work for a company that is open, thoughtful and entrepreneurial, then I should be one too. When my organization is in the glory, it seems to me that this is my glory. When she's worried difficult times, it’s hard for me too. Like other types of romantic relationships, this kind of work is the healthiest and most sensible addiction.

It's no wonder that we can't stop thinking about our work and sometimes get overwhelmed by it. Everything is like in love. She is demanding. She can absorb. But when it's happy love, we feel like we're living. We live until these feelings fade away.

I often encounter people who have fallen out of love with a job or organization that they used to love. They go to executive courses the same way couples go to counseling to sort out their mixed feelings. I understand them because sometimes I feel the same way. I am familiar with doubts, slight feelings of guilt, and fear. Maybe I'm not patient enough? Can I handle it? Can I find something better or at least no worse? And who will I become if I leave?

Sometimes these questions indicate destructive feelings about work. Sometimes - that fading love turns into mature love. Often both occur, but it is important to separate the signs. You need to understand why you are leaving before you can start thinking about how to leave with dignity.

In this article we will talk about how to survive being fired from your job. Almost every person has encountered this problem at least once in their life. And coping with this is not always easy, especially if you liked the work and put a lot of effort into it. The approaching retirement age may complicate matters. So, what to do and how not to allow yourself to give up?

Reasons for leaving work

We list those specialists who may be at risk:

• Workers who stop there, who do not improve their qualifications, do not improve their skills.
• The results of the employee’s activities are not noticed by anyone.
• People who believe that they do not depend on anyone.
• Workers surrounding themselves with henchmen and ignoring constructive criticism.
• People who don't get along well with coworkers.
• Those who refuse to mention their career achievements.

Consequences of dismissal

What can you expect if you are fired from your job? The first thing you will experience is shock and stress. The familiar world around a person collapses, acquaintances remain in the past, and self-esteem plummets. Often, a large number of layoffs occur in crisis situations, at a time when management seeks to retain only the most valuable and promising employees. And this leads to the fact that a person who finds himself in such a situation begins to get into his head the thoughts that he is worse than everyone, that he is unable to achieve anything in life, etc.

You can’t get hung up on this, you need to distract yourself from gloomy thoughts. Think about the fact that everything is relative, because some are better at one thing, and others at another. Don't forget that this failure can be the beginning of something new.

Now let's look at two in more detail wonderful ways cope with depression and start searching new job.

First way

How to cope with the stress of being fired? Psychologists have long proven that the emotional state of a fired person is comparable to the feelings that people experience after betrayal or divorce. Therefore, the consequences, especially for those with a weak psyche, can be very severe, ranging from depression and insomnia to nervous breakdowns. To survive a layoff and stay healthy, you need to follow the tips we present below.

Where to start? Step one

How to survive being fired from your job? First you need to go through the main stages of stress, of which there are four:

• Denial phase. A state of shock when it is very difficult to comprehend what is happening around.
• Anger phase. The first emotion appears - aggression. A person is constantly in a state of irritation, angry at loved ones and relatives, himself, fate, life.
• Bargaining phase. Trying to get back to work by doing something meaningful. For example, bring a new client or prepare a report.
• Depression phase. The person realizes that all attempts to return are futile.

Step two

We continue to describe the algorithm for how to survive being fired from your job. So, we stopped at the stage of depression. You can't drive your own negative emotions inside yourself, you need to learn to throw them out. To do this you need to choose a suitable method. A gym is a good choice for this purpose. Practice with a punching bag, imagining a boss or an ill-wisher in its place, organize a marathon race, splashing out aggression in movement.

Under no circumstances should you isolate yourself from your loved ones. Tell your friends about your experience. Once you speak out, it will become much easier. Gradually, the circumstances of the dismissal will begin to be remembered less and less clearly, and emotions will dull.

Step three

Remember, if you were fired from your job, it’s not the end of the world, because life goes on. However, the negative stages of stress can last for several weeks. Don't let them stay with you for long. You can use a special psychological technique, which is called “Alarm Clock”. Mentally you need to “wind up” your internal clock for a certain day. When the alarm clock goes off, start taking action.

If you managed to survive the phase of negative emotions, then get ready for the acceptance stage. During this period, you will be able to analyze your behavior and understand what caused the dismissal. This will allow you to comprehend what is happening and help you begin to act further.

You need to make a list of the positive aspects that being fired brought into your life. For example, you got rid of your boss’s nagging or co-workers’ nagging.

Step four

You were fired from your job. What to do? Abstract from emotions and analyze the recorded reasons for dismissal point by point. Do not take seriously such aspects as the crisis, staff reduction, harmful boss, etc. Be honest with yourself, and perhaps you will understand that you have long unconsciously wanted to quit this job.

Then think about what profession is closest to you and what you would really like to do. On a piece of paper, write down the knowledge and skills that are required for the chosen job. Mark the skills you don't have and start filling in the gaps in your education.

Step five

There are many ways to survive being fired. The psychologist's advice convinces us of one thing - as soon as the stress has passed and it becomes clear what you want next, you need to start looking for a new job. And here you cannot limit yourself to one way. You need to use everything possible - advertisements, websites, friends, employment services, etc.

During your search, try to maintain the daily routine that was before your dismissal - stay awake, have breakfast and dinner, do things at the same time. This will help keep yourself in good shape and not relax. Treat your search for a new job as an exam.

Second way: do not forget about formalities

Let's consider another option on how to survive being fired from your job. Depression is possible in any case. However, you can shift your attention a little to the formal side of the matter.

After the first emotional shock, thoughts will begin to appear that being fired will ruin your work record and put an end to your career. We need to immediately drive away these ideas. Do not try on the role of a supplicant and do not tremble in front of the director. You still have nothing more to lose, so try to figure it out. Be sure to find out the reason for dismissal. Don't forget about your rights and labor laws. You cannot be thrown out of the door without a means of subsistence. Don't let your employer profit from this either.

Be sure to control your emotions. Don't let self-pity take over, try to remain calm. During conversations with management, do not make threats or get personal. The discussion should be conducted in strictly business language. Study the Labor Code in advance (dismissal and everything connected with it, in particular) and select the paragraphs of the law to which you will refer. Behave with dignity. A bad relationship with a former employer can complicate the search for a new job, as management may be reluctant to provide references.

Don't look at being fired as a failure of your entire life. Try to see this as an opportunity to start over. In addition, in your old place you acquired certain skills and experience that will be useful in later life.

Dismissal of a pensioner

How can a pensioner survive dismissal? After all, people of this age are more vulnerable in such a situation. Often retirees devote a lot of effort to the enterprise and are attached to it with all their hearts. For them, work has long become an integral and very important part of life. Therefore, it is much more difficult for them to cope with depression.

Were you fired from your job after retirement? What to do? Typically, retirees still have many friends from their service. Don't forget about them and shut yourself off. Support from loved ones can help. Remember that retirement is an excellent opportunity to live for your own pleasure. You have a lot of time that you can spend on yourself and your hobbies - take walks more often, find yourself a hobby.

Advice from a psychologist for pensioners and people of pre-retirement age

The worst thing to lose your job is for those who have very little time left before retirement. The reasons for leaving a job may vary, but you need to make sure that they are legal.

By this time, a person has accumulated vast experience, perfected his skills and is well versed in his field, but employers prefer to hire young people. This situation is especially difficult for women.

At an older age, they no longer think about what field they want to work in, since everything has already been decided long ago and it is too late to change anything. You need to analyze your skills and knowledge, and then determine the industry where they may be most in demand. You can find a suitable vacancy with the help of neighbors, acquaintances and even former colleagues. The latter are especially valuable in this regard, as they continue to move in the right professional circles.

You also need to pay attention to your appearance. During the interview, you should be friendly and confident. At the same time, you need to be prepared for refusal. You can hear “no” many times, so there is no need to despair and fall into the blues. Try not to lose your fighting spirit and remember the power of persuasion.

Today, the main requirement for a potential employee is the ability to work on a computer. Therefore, you will have to master this skill if you are applying for a good position.

TK: dismissal. Legislative framework

Any dismissal must be based on Article 80 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Be sure to familiarize yourself with this law and read all the amendments that have been made to it.

If the case is complex, then it would be useful to contact a lawyer. You must make sure that everything is happening according to the law and the boss is not trying to deceive you by not paying the required compensation. IN stressful situation people rarely think about the legal side of things because they are in a phase of denial or anger. And when emotions become dull, it is too late to demand something. If you yourself cannot understand the legal intricacies, turn to your loved ones for help.

Such an event really throws you out of your usual rut; dozens of questions instantly flash in your head: “Why me?”, “What did I do wrong?”

Self-esteem falls, mood is at zero and faith in a bright future for some reason instantly evaporates and turns into unrealistic hopes. Psychologists even argue that being fired from a job is really a strong stress that must be experienced correctly in order to avoid unpleasant, and sometimes dangerous, consequences.

5 important steps

How to survive being fired? This question gnaws at everyone who finds themselves in such a situation, and it doesn’t matter whether you knew about it in advance or the news hit you out of the blue. To reach a successful ending, a person has to go through 5 stages, each of which, in its own way, is important and necessary.

At the first stage, the person is only partially aware of the seriousness of the situation, being in a state of shock; awareness comes only at the second stage. Here anger, resentment and misunderstanding catch up. There are a thousand questions in your head, self-esteem is slowly but surely tending to zero, and, as a result, a natural feeling of aggression and anger at your former boss may arise.

It is at the second stage that a burning desire may arise to “get even for the last time”: tell your boss everything you think about him, annoy the company, for example, hide some necessary data or delete customer numbers. Naturally, over time everything will be restored, but an extremely negative opinion will be formed about you.

You shouldn't do anything like that! Gather your will and remember that the professional circle in one city is always quite narrow, which means that your future superiors may find out about all your “achievements,” which can affect your further career growth.

Do you need it? If you leave, do it with your head held high, with best wishes and a friendly smile, who knows, sometimes management has a habit of changing their decisions, or at least you can get a good recommendation.

The next stage is bidding. Here similar thoughts arise: “If only I had completed the annual report on time...”, “If only I had been more friendly with the team...” and so on. “If only, yes, but…” no longer makes much sense, step over this stage, leave everything in the past, but take with you the conclusions regarding your professional activities, perhaps they will be useful to you in your new workplace.

The fourth stage is depression. There is no point in explaining or describing it; almost all of us have fallen into a similar state. The last number is acceptance. Finally, having realized and experienced all the sorrows, you are ready to move on; at this stage, a person can even see a certain logic in his dismissal and sees the advantages of what happened.

In words everything seems simple, but how to experience it in reality? To begin with: give yourself every right to experience all these five stages; it is better to go through them at once than to get confused in your own negative emotions and push the problem away, leaving it without a solution. Unfortunately, there are many cases when, after being fired, a person is completely lost and does not find the strength for new achievements.

Most often, people who are at critical stages of life fall into this risk group, usually at the age of 34-36 years, and then 49-52, 55-57 years. Sooner or later, you will come to the stage of acceptance, however, it is important to try to shorten the entire path to it: to do this, give yourself instructions about the end of each stage. For example, three days for each state: it may seem strange to you at first, but as a result, logic will prevail over feelings.

What do you need to know?

So it happened. First, you need to understand the important design aspects that can play for or against you in the future.

• Dismissal at your own request. More often than not, it is formalized this way, even if this desire was not entirely one’s own. If, for example, a person is fired because he cannot cope with his own work and the employer can prove this, then this option will be the best solution. But if a person is fired simply due to staff reduction, then in this situation you may not receive the required compensation. Dismissal due to redundancy must be notified in advance, terms are specified, and the warning is attached in writing. But for an employee who is forced to sign backdated documents, it is better to consult with lawyers and sign nothing in advance.
• By agreement of the parties. The most profitable option for the employee: it clearly states the date of dismissal, and all necessary payments are made (full payment, compensation for vacation that was not used, remaining salary). Registering with the labor exchange is easier, and benefits are calculated as quickly as possible.

Perhaps, on the stock exchange, you can take advanced training courses, which will increase your chances of finding a new job. It would be a good idea to create a high-quality resume, send it to employment sites, and also undergo interviews at a couple of cadastral offices.

From a psychological point of view

Often, after a difficult layoff, a person wants to relax: lie on the couch, eat plenty of sweets and goodies, sleep until lunch, and so on. Of course, you can allow such a vacation, but the main thing is that it does not stretch out indefinitely.

Do not forget that the payment you received will soon end, and you will no longer receive a new salary, and is it really possible to hang on the neck of your own family? This especially applies to men.

In order to completely “not fall apart”, be sure to follow a daily routine: get up at the appointed time, have breakfast and get yourself in order, actively look for a job and, once you have one, free time, do what you have never been able to do.

For example, learn something new, clean out the garage, tidy up household chores that you never got around to doing before. Use your free time to get your health in order: keep a routine, don’t watch TV late, go outside every day and, if possible, go for a run.

Do not forget that weekends, as before, are Saturday and Sunday; the rest of the time you should be busy, as you were before when you worked. Check websites with vacancies every day, send out as many resumes as possible, go to interviews and remember what more The companies you call today, the more answers you will receive tomorrow.

And one more thing: learn to perceive dismissal not as a cruel joke of fate, but as a sign that it’s time for you to move on. Who knows, perhaps this is a kind of sign, a chance to find a place with better earnings or a team.

A pressing problem for employees leaving work: how not to get upset, survive dismissal and continue your professional and personal growth. To prepare for the end of your employment relationship, you need to know the signs of an impending dismissal, and in order to recover from it, it is important to realize your value as an employee.

Preparing to leave work

There is nothing worse than suddenly losing your job. Here is a list of signs that may indicate that a person is about to be fired:

• the subordinate is assigned fewer tasks;
• bosses are less likely to call you in (to criticize or discuss the work done);
• Some of the work is delegated to someone else.

As a rule, the last straw for many in this matter is the moment when a person finds on the Internet his position in his company for which they are looking for an employee. Of course, after this, most people begin to worry that they will soon have to say goodbye to their workplace.

What to do if you are about to be fired?

If there are persistent suspicions that the boss will soon offer to leave the company, then there is no need to go to great lengths - go and sort it out with the manager, and express in your hearts everything that has accumulated during your work.

This will only make the situation worse, and the subordinate may lose a letter of recommendation, which may be important when looking for a new job. In addition, the director may have doubts about dismissal, and the conflict will only push him towards this.

If a person suspects that his contract will soon be terminated, then it is best to calm down and start looking for work. In most cases, people manage to find a new place even before that the moment their boss informs them of his dismissal, they just need to start searching as early as possible.

Advice! If you have any guesses about leaving your job soon, then you should not openly look for vacancies if everything is fine at work and the person does not want to leave the company. If the manager finds out that a subordinate is looking for other options, he will decide that the person himself does not mind resigning, and is more likely to offer to write a statement.

In addition, the manager can terminate the contract with a person on his own initiative only if certain factors are present.

Under what circumstances can the boss himself terminate the contract:

• in case of disciplinary violations (absenteeism, tardiness, etc.);
• if a person has committed theft of property;
• if the qualifications of the position held do not correspond;
• when contracting.

If the director wants to stop labor relations, but one of the above circumstances is missing, then the person can sue him.

How to find a new job?

When people are laid off, some of them think that it is difficult to find a new job and become unsure of themselves. If a person’s contract has been terminated, but he feels that he cannot cope, then you can attend advanced training courses, or look for a job through an acquaintance. If a subordinate left peacefully and he good relationship with colleagues and superiors, you can find out about trainings and seminars that are held in the organization from which the employee was fired.

It is especially difficult to overcome depression for those who are 50 years old or older - many believe that because of their age they are not in demand and will never find a job. In this case, it makes sense not only to go to advanced training courses, if possible, but also to see a psychotherapist. A specialist will help you overcome this period in life and convince yourself that all is not lost. In addition, there is no need to despair because many employers need experienced employees.

First of all, after terminating the contract, you should not waste your nerves and spoil relationships with colleagues or your former boss. If the director illegally terminated the contract, then it is better to go to court or the labor inspectorate than to waste time on insults.

Advice! If the manager offers new vacancies, or writes a letter of recommendation, you should not refuse, even if the relationship with the manager was bad. It’s better to get everything you can out of your last job, as this will help you get a new one.

What should you do after dismissal? The most important thing is that you don’t need to get depressed and think that a bad streak has begun. Life consists not only of a career, but also of other equally important components - hobbies, friends, family. If complexes and self-doubt appear, it is better to take a short rest for a while; if you are severely depressed, it is better to immediately contact a psychotherapist. The emotional state is very important, since a person who has a breakdown is less likely to find a suitable place for himself.

If a fired subordinate decides to take a little rest, then this should not drag on for long. You can rest for 2 weeks or a month, but then it’s better to start looking for a job, since some skills may be lost over a long period.

Also, there is no need to agree to the first position that is offered if the employee is not satisfied with it. In this case, you need to look at things soberly - know what you want and compare your capabilities - level of training, education, and so on.

Is it worth going back if they call you back?

It happens that management calls a fired person back, but it is better not to agree to such offers. Practice shows that even if an employee had a good relationship with the team and management, he still begins to trust his superiors less after his last dismissal. However, if a subordinate has old job working conditions (and salary) are better and there are good relations with colleagues and the director, then you can return to the company.

Getting fired is a big stress for any person. For some, work is a guarantee of stability, an opportunity to provide for themselves and their family. But for some, this is a favorite thing, an opportunity to express themselves, realize their abilities and skills. In any case, such an event negatively affects the person’s condition. People give up, self-esteem decreases, and they become overwhelmed by resentment, anger, and despair. Our article will tell you how to cope with being fired from your job with dignity and turn the situation to your advantage.

First wave of emotions

If the loss of a job was not of your own free will, this inevitably leads to a stressful state. It is especially offensive if a lot of effort and effort was put into it. Depending on the situation, emotions can be different. For some people, their pride is hurt first of all. A person is overwhelmed by anger and indignation.

It seems that the boss underestimated and humiliated him. In this case, it is important to pull yourself together and leave with dignity. workplace, no matter how much I would like to express all my thoughts to management. Insults will still not correct the situation, but will only expose the brawler himself in an unfavorable light.

For some, the main thing in such a situation is the loss of a source of income. Panic sets in; it seems that it will be very difficult or even impossible to find another job. People who are close to retirement age (40 years or more) are especially affected by layoffs. Here it is also important to try to calm down and understand that the labor market is large, there are many opportunities, and even people of mature age can be in demand. Many managers value experienced employees.

In any case, if you were fired, you need to leave your worries for later and try to make the most of your last job. Ask your boss to write to you reference or letter of recommendation.

Make sure your employment record or employment agreement states an acceptable reason for termination. Demand compensation for unused vacation.

Let's look at the problem from a different angle

So, all the formalities have been settled, and you are left alone with the situation. From a psychological point of view, it is obvious that it is difficult to be happy in such a situation. But you can look at the problem from the other side. When one door closes, another opens. Once you lose one job, you can find another. However, it may turn out to be better than before. Perhaps you will earn more or, in general, change the type of activity to a more interesting one for you.

If financial issues are not your main concern, layoffs can be an opportunity to get some rest, spend time with your family, engage in self-improvement, learn something new, or improve your skills. In any case, this situation may be an impetus for positive changes in your life that you would not have decided to make on your own.

Cause Analysis

If you lose your job, it is important to determine why it happened. Analysis of the causes will help restore peace of mind and understand what needs to be worked on to ensure that the situation does not repeat itself in the future.

So, the most common reasons layoffs:

• a person performs his duties poorly - one should learn to concentrate on business, strive to improve skills, gain new knowledge, adequately perceive constructive criticism and correct one’s mistakes;
• problems with discipline - you need to develop responsibility, punctuality;
• bad relationships in a team - you should learn to be more polite, friendly, sociable, and get out of the habit of gossiping and plotting intrigues.

If the reason for the current situation is a banal staff reduction or the need to make room for a relative of the boss, you shouldn’t even think about it. If the reason is unclear, and they refuse to pay you compensation, you can contact a lawyer for advice. This way you will be sure that everything is happening in accordance with the law and that they are not trying to deceive you.

Making good use of your free time

Free time before starting a new one labor activity You can have a pleasant time and even benefit from it.

Physical activity

There's no point in lying on the couch and being sad. Be sure to do exercises, go for walks, you can join the gym or start jogging in the morning. This will improve your health and fill you with energy.

Healthy eating

Office workers often eat irregularly and not very healthy. At home you can adjust your diet, learn to cook new healthy dishes.

Trips

If you have such an opportunity, give yourself a good rest. This could be hiking or just visiting other countries. Unity with nature, new impressions, bright positive emotions- all this will benefit you.

Putting order in your home and life

Perhaps lately you have accumulated a lot of unfinished tasks that you didn’t have enough time for due to work. Fix what's broken, get rid of unnecessary things, complete the renovation.

Education, hobby

Looking for a new job

It's not worth taking a vacation longer than a month. The fact is that any skills are lost over time. In addition, employers are reluctant to hire those who have been inactive for a long time. And the very desire to work may disappear. A person gets used to sitting at home and relaxing, and his enthusiasm for work decreases.

Having calmed down and gathered your strength, you should start looking for a new job. Think about whether you want to stay in the same field or do something new. If you choose the second option, you should soberly assess your capabilities, knowledge, and level of training. Think about what your desired position requires and decide what gaps need to be filled.

Write a resume, send it to companies offering vacancies, register at the labor exchange.

Part time job

When looking for a new job, don't ignore any opportunity. If the financial issue is acute, you can take on a temporary part-time job for a couple of hours a day. This will help you stay afloat and will not interfere with serious interviews.

Experts advise don't hold negative emotions in yourself. Of course, you shouldn’t throw a tantrum in your boss’s office, but it’s possible and even necessary to throw out your emotions later (for example, through punching a punching bag). Don’t isolate yourself from your loved ones, share your thoughts and fears with them. You will definitely feel better.

However, you shouldn’t “swim” in depression for months either. Allow yourself to be sad a little, and then (after a couple of weeks) pull yourself together, analyze your mistakes, find positive aspects in the situation, and think about ways to solve the problem.