Hello!
There may be various reasons To be more precise, it would be good if you first passed the accentuation test (Leonhard-Smishek test).
But if we assume that you do not have accentuations, then callousness and indifference were acquired in the family in childhood. Usually, this is either a stereotypical behavior, that is, the child learned from adults, for example, with emotionally cold parents, and when the person grew up, he carried it into his adult life. Also, parents may be too emotional or someone may be in the role of a victim, then the child adapts in such a way that he himself ceases to “feel” something towards such a parent, and accordingly, this attitude is transferred to relationships with others. Further, if a child was punished for displaying his feelings or desires, then the same thing will happen - some indifference will appear. Punishment does not have to be physical; it is enough if they even just make fun of him. There may be other options, but in any case it comes from relationships with parents or grandparents, from childhood.
In addition, a person may not actually be “dry” and indifferent, he may simply be reserved, introverted, rational, but his relatives may for some reason not like this, for example, such people are more difficult to manipulate, and then there may be reproaches or accusations that he is callous, and when a person hears this many times from relatives, he begins to consider himself that way.
Being rational is not a bad thing, just like not rushing to save relatives from their problems. An adult can solve his problems on his own. And you may well refuse to solve other people's problems. And this does not mean that you are callous or indifferent. further, of course, it depends on what exactly you mean by these qualities. If, for example, a person is sick and asks to call a doctor, but you don’t care and there is no sympathy that he is sick, then yes, this is indifference. And if a person has created some kind of problem for himself, but doesn’t want to solve it, just wants to cry, and you refused, then there is no callousness at all.
How to acquire softness. It depends what you mean by that. It is quite possible that you have it, simply for the reasons that your relatives consider you callous, you yourself do not value this quality in yourself (softness, warmth). If still not, then begin to develop empathy in yourself, this will then help you understand and sympathize, empathize with other people. It will take time, but it is developing. Exercises are being done.

Sincerely,
Natalia.

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Our society is very different from what it was a century ago. Even if we go back fifty years, people will be significantly different from our contemporaries. What's the difference? Why soulfulness, simplicity, sincerity, and in return came such concepts as human callousness, indifference, indifference? Many have forgotten about humanity, exchanging it for some kind of calculation in life, for example financial or selfish. Let's try to figure out what many understand by the word "callousness".

What is callousness?

This concept is studied primarily in psychology. Here it is defined as one that was formed on the basis of the loss of empathy, sympathy, being emotionally sensitive to the problems and grief of other people or any other living being. Those who have had to deal with callous people know firsthand what callousness is. Unfortunately, there are more and more people like this in our society. We can encounter people's callous attitude towards us on the street, in a store, in a hospital, at work, and so on. What do experts understand by callousness and what other qualities is it supplemented with?

Basic synonyms of callousness

What callousness is can be understood by the set that complements it in relation to people. This word can safely be supplemented with such words as rudeness. Sometimes callousness can lead to selfishness and hatred. Callousness is a lack of love for someone.

Once a sage was asked a question: “How do you understand the word “callousness”?” To which he replied that callousness equals indifference. Other negative qualities express their attitude towards a person, even if it is negative, but indifference does not express anything; it reduces the relationship to zero, destroying all the good beginnings of relationships between people. It is human nature to need recognition and love. Without experiencing a feeling of need or even uselessness, he dies morally and is internally destroyed. It is callousness and indifference that can kill love. No negative qualities can compare with an indifferent attitude. Anger, hatred, disgust can upset, but they do not deny the existence of a person, an individual. And callousness and indifference figuratively turn him into an empty place. They leave nothing behind.

What can callousness and indifference lead to?

These moral and psychological characteristics of a person, in their essence, do not carry anything destructive at first glance. A callous person may not do anything wrong, but the results of indifferent behavior are amazing. How many times do we come across statements: “If only they had rushed in sooner...”, “If only they had helped me right away...”, “If only he had been given help right away.” medical care..."? Indeed, if you pay attention to a person and his problem a little earlier, you can protect him from fatal mistakes, prevent personal catastrophes, and so on.

B. Yasensky once said a very good phrase on this topic. He clearly notes that enemies can kill at worst, friends can betray, but they are worse than everyone else. They can silently consent to murder and betrayal. You never know what to expect from them. Callousness and indifference can lead to physical and psychological injuries, loss of meaning in life, and death in extreme cases.

How to get rid of indifference and callousness?

We must realize what callousness and indifference are. This is blocking various emotions. The development of these qualities may begin in early childhood. There are many reasons for their development, but how to get rid of them?

• It is important to stop being offended by anyone or anything. You need to train yourself to let go of everything: both good and bad. Resentment entails a bundle of unspoken words and emotions.
• You need to express your emotions in a socially acceptable way. This is not shouting or destruction, but a search for constructive ways to solve problem situations.
• It is important to recognize and develop good qualities. We cannot be entirely positive, nor can we be entirely negative. Therefore, we need to develop and get rid of negative ones.

By training in empathy, an emotional attitude towards others, and developing the positive around you, you will stop feeling indifference, emptiness and callousness.

Encyclopedia "Human Vices: Callousness

Callousness scratches us, teaching us not to drown in the sea of ​​love, but to get busy. If it were not for callousness, the world would be overwhelmed by the elements of complacency and would swallow all people, and then they, having decomposed in this caustic solution, merged into a single sluggish mass - faceless, colorless, weak-willed, and then humanity would inevitably perish. On the contrary, a person discouraged by callousness learns to be independent, because he sees that there is nowhere to wait for help. Callousness alleviates suffering. It is human nature to empathize. And the more he is unsure of the strength of his own destiny, the more he empathizes with others. Only through callousness can one be saved from that eternal shudder. horror, anger, which humanity requires in an inescapably unhappy world. Powerless to change the world and save it from evil, a person would become exhausted in fruitless impulses and fade away without having accomplished anything remarkable. But callousness comes to the rescue. She does not allow feelings to flare up, she binds passions, she turns a person to what is within reach. A callous person, unable to ease the burden of another, at least does not plunge into deception and false hopes aroused by sympathy. He distances himself from the troubles and experiences of others not because he considers them empty, but because he knows his place, the limits of his capabilities and is busy with his own life. Callousness shows: people are outside of me, they don’t care about me, I’m left to my own devices. And, therefore, he must take care of himself. The formation of personality begins with this concern, and how would this be possible if it were not for blessed callousness? At a certain advanced age, complaints about the infantilism of youth begin. They show a visual defect caused by the tortuous trajectory of life. However, nevertheless. the infantile character is not a fiction. I believe that it is born from the lack of callousness of others. Remember how cordially parents take care of their child. Knowing what kind of injuries await someone who is not experienced in difficult life situations, they strive to save him from such a life. But this only exacerbates his helplessness. And how good the state is! In its concern for the well-being of its subjects, it knows no bounds. With what paternal care it frees its citizens from the slightest independence, from the daring attempt to assert their inappropriate self. But, alas! For some reason this does not make citizens happier. Truly, parents, like government agencies, there is a lack of callousness - this reasonable antidote to immoderate fatherly love.

As Victor Hugo used to say, a person has three characters: one is attributed to him by his environment, another he attributes to himself, and the third is real, objective.

There are more than five hundred human character traits, and not all of them are clearly positive or negative; much depends on the context.

Therefore, any personality that has collected certain qualities in individual proportions is unique.

A person’s character is a specific, unique combination of personal, ordered psychological traits, characteristics, and nuances. It is formed, however, throughout life and manifests itself during work and social interaction.

Soberly assessing and describing the character of the chosen person is not an easy task. After all, not all of its properties are demonstrated to the environment: some traits (good and bad) remain in the shadows. And we seem to ourselves to be somewhat different than what we see in the mirror.

Is it possible? Yes, there is a version that this is possible. Through long efforts and training, you are able to assign yourself the qualities you love, becoming a little better.

A person's character is manifested in actions, in social behavior. It is visible in a person’s attitude to work, to things, to other people and in her self-esteem.

In addition, character qualities are divided into groups - “volitional”, “emotional”, “intellectual” and “social”.

We are not born with specific traits, but acquire them through the process of upbringing, education, exploration of the environment, and so on. Of course, the genotype also influences the formation of character: the apple often falls extremely close to the apple tree.

At its core, character is close to temperament, but they are not the same thing.

In order to relatively soberly assess yourself and your role in society, psychologists advise writing down your positive, neutral and negative traits on a piece of paper and analyzing them.

Try to do this too, you will find examples of character traits below.

Positive character traits (list)

Negative character traits (list)

At the same time, some qualities are difficult to classify as good or bad, and they cannot be called neutral. So, any mother wants her daughter to be shy, silent and bashful, but is this beneficial for the girl?

Again, a dreamy person may be cute, but completely unlucky because he always has his head in the clouds. An assertive individual looks stubborn to some, but obnoxious and pushy to others.

Is it bad to be gambling and carefree? How far has cunning gone from wisdom and resourcefulness? Do ambition, ambition, and determination lead to success or to loneliness? It will probably depend on the situation and context.

And what you want to be, you decide for yourself!